


The Burnt Road

by Hootax



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst, Consensual Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Older Hop (Pokemon), References to Abuse, past animal abuse ment, past pokemon abuse ment, references to noncon, references to past rape, references to sibling incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:07:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 51,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hootax/pseuds/Hootax
Summary: This is a fanwork heavily inspired by the dark fic "Your Biggest Fan" by Huevoplatano. It takes place several years after Hop was freed from Leon's abuse. Hop is on the long road to recovery as he navigates his life and studies to be a Pokemon professor. At some point during his get-togethers with Gloria and Raihan, Hop realizes he's developing feelings for Raihan. Considering the emotional damage Leon left behind, Hop has no idea what to do, but he wants to know what a real relationship is supposed to be like.
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Hop, Hop/Kibana | Raihan
Comments: 61
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is a fan sequel of sorts to the fic  
> [Your Biggest Fan](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21811342/chapters/52049029) by [huevoplatano](https://archiveofourown.org/users/huevoplatano/pseuds/huevoplatano)
> 
> There are a lot of references to things that happened in that fic, but the reader should be warned that it is very dark and contains heavy themes. You don't have to read it to read this one, just bear it in mind that this story comes after those events.
> 
> This is written with Huevo's permission.

Romance wasn't something that Hop considered for a long time after Leon was carted away to... wherever Raihan and his conspirators took him. It seemed like love and sex wouldn't be on the table for years if not never. He made it a point to avoid romantic books or media and made his own playlists so he didn't have to listen to crooning songs on the radio. Exposure would result in him tensing up and drawing into himself, his body having trained itself to put up its defense mechanisms at the first sign of anything that reminded him of his captivity under Leon.

He had PTSD, his therapist told him, even though he'd always assumed that one only ever got PTSD from extreme fear or injury. 

_Well, you were afraid, weren't you?_ Hop had survived _trauma._ He had to keep reminding himself of that because, in hindsight, his mind tried to tell him the entire ordeal hadn't been as bad as it actually was. Leon hadn't injured him, just been forceful, right? Hop could have gotten away at any time he wanted, but he didn't, so it was his fault for letting it go on as long as it did.

Everyone told him it wasn't his fault and he would believe them for a while. Then when he started feeling safe and comfortable, he would think about how if Leon's abuse had _really_ been that bad, he would still be torn up over it. He wouldn't be able to study, work, or have nights of restful sleep. His anxiety would be constant instead of fluctuating. 

So because he hadn't suffered or been torn up enough, he must have overreacted. And if he overreacted, then he got his brother (his family) taken away for nothing. Therefore, everything was his fault.

There was no magical on/off switch for moods like these. They bled into one another in a cycle. Recovery didn't mean you improved and stayed that way ever after. You didn't stand in nature and have an epiphany that made everything better and took away the guilt like in movies. When things went up, they had the tendency of coming back down. When that happened, it only ever made Hop feel like a failure.

He couldn't even recover from being molested for months _properly._ Just like everything else he tried to do. That was what his brain tried to tell him. 

He never breathed a word of this to Gloria and Raihan. For all they had done for them, the last thing he wanted was for them to be disappointed in him. Disappointed for what, he didn't know, but the thought that they might be was enough for him to stamp everything down and slap on a smile. 

Keep smiling and carry on. 

The day he was supposed to go to Hammerlocke and meet them for their bi-monthly get-togethers, he woke up blearily with Dubwool chewing on his hair to express that he wanted breakfast. He'd felt better, but he'd felt worse. At least his body wasn't in crisis mode like it was on some days he dreamt of Leon trying to touch him. He mentally made a tally mark under his collection of 'good days'.

His coffee was decent, work was decent, the trip to Hammerlocke was decent... It all left Hop with a sense of cautious optimism. This was going to be okay. There wasn't going to be a disaster; Leon wasn't going to show up covered in blood and demanding that Hop take him back. Everything was fine.

Despite all of this, it wasn't anything negative that threw him for a loop but rather an emotion that he thought had long since died after Gloria rejected him. Gloria and Raihan took him to a place that specialized in spiced curries. At some point, between the food, the Bulbasaur bourbon, and Raihan making them laugh uproariously over the latest group of gym challengers, a hypothetical switch flipped. Suddenly he took new notice of the slitted pupils in Raihan's icy blue eyes, the curve of his jaw, and the sharp points of his canines.

And Hop felt a _twinge_ in his chest.

He would have chalked it up to an overabundance of gratitude towards one of the people who had rescued him from a life of horror, except he was pretty sure it wasn't gratitude that made him watch with fascination at the way Raihan's Adam's apple bobbed when he threw back his head and took a drink of bourbon.

Time slowed down. Hop's mind whirled with conflicting messages.

_Raihan's dark skin looked soft. He wanted to touch it but touch was bad. There was a scar that peeked out of his collar that Hop wanted to run his fingers over. Touch was bad. His smiles always softened his eyes. Leon said he would fuck Hop whether he wanted it or not. It was comforting when Raihan ran his fingers through Hop's hair._

"Oy, Hop, Meowth got your tongue?"

Oh, Raihan was looking at him now and had apparently been asking him something. Hop couldn't answer since he didn't hear the question. Heat rose up his neck. Gloria was rosy-cheeked and watching him too, though she was too tipsy to be concerned.

She'd been there the entire time that Hop was having a silent war with his thoughts. Somehow, that was the most embarrassing. She was the one Hop was supposed to be pining for after all these years. Even though the memories were painful for a time, he was supposed to get past all of that and marry her, right? That was how it worked in the movies. Life absolutely followed the movies.

Her dress even had spaghetti straps. She'd let her hair grow out until it brushed the backs of her shoulders. Her skin was undoubtedly just as soft, if not softer, but her cheek wasn't the one Hop wanted to touch.

_Touch was bad._

"Y-Yeah, everything's brilliant. I'm just going to pop into the loo real quick. Don't wait up for me," Hop said. He felt strangely detached from the words, as though they were coming from someone else trying to excuse him. He set down his drink and stood from the table, his heart hammering and his legs moving mechanically. He would have worried about how awkward the moment was if he didn't hear drunken snickering from the table at his expense. Oh well, they wouldn't remember it.

In the bathroom, Hop shut the door and leaned back against it. His breath came in short pants as though he ran a mile. He was almost out of his teenage years and he was close to having a panic attack all because it just hit him that Raihan was handsome.

A pleasant chill settled at the base of his spine. Why was this happening then and there, he didn't know. This was by no means their first dinner date- _party_. A party with the three of them, all friends, all having fun. His reaction was because of alcohol or maybe an Indeedee snuck in and threw weird emotions into the air.

Though, once he calmed down and slashed water on his face, he reconsidered. He was capable of having a crush once, just look at his puppy love for Gloria a few years back. Logically, he still had the capacity to feel attraction; it hadn't died, just been suppressed as part of his coping mechanisms. It was natural.

He just wasn't expecting them to kick in now while he was at dinner, tipsy, and entirely unready to analyze the situation.

Because that was his default nowadays when there was something he struggled to understand. He distanced himself emotionally from the issue and then examined it. It was all very clinical and methodic.

So in essence, he was using the scientific method to figure out if he was ready to fuck someone or not. That was **Defining the Purpose**.

 **Constructing the Hypothesis** : Considering he hadn’t done so much as hold somebody’s hand since his last night with Leon, he wasn’t ready.

 **Testing the hypothesis and collecting the date** : That would include fucking somebody and... he couldn't think about it that without seizing up.

 **Conclusion** : ...He wasn't ready.

The warmth in his chest drained away like someone poured a bucket of ice water on him. Wasn't that just terrific? He couldn't even consider this stuff without running into a brick wall. He couldn't have crushes without freaking out. His brother had taken it all from him. The first thing he thought about was sex and apparently there were more steps that came before that.

But Hop's only frame of reference was Leon. He didn't even know if this was a crush he was experiencing on Raihan or an alcohol-induced euphoria considering he experienced it for all of twenty seconds.

Deciding he spent enough time in the loo, he sighed and returned to the table with his cheeks a little pinker than he would have liked. There was some paranoia if Gloria and Raihan could see everything written on his face, but they joked and laughed like they were none the wiser.

Hop was proud of the way he kept it together. All he needed to do was ignore the flutter in his chest when he met Raihan's gaze. It would go away once he sobered up. He held it up wonderfully until Raihan saw them off at the train station. He had offered his place for them to crash at (it wouldn't be the first time they did so), but Hop had to be at the lab the next day and Gloria had photoshoots to do as the Champion.

Raihan hugged Gloria - just a friendly gesture, nothing flirty or underhanded with it. When he wanted to, he could be more of a gentleman than what social media and his reputation made him out to be.

Then he turned to Hop and held out an arm in invitation, just like he always did, letting Hop decide if he wanted to come in for an embrace. For a long time, Hop had been too nervous. Even while Raihan had been the one to bail him out of that hellhole Leon kept him in, there was something about the larger body that made Hop shrink back. 

Raihan never once held it against him. He would just smile and wish Hop a good trip back home. He never once got angry or sighed impatiently or snapped at him for _not trying._ Eventually, Hop was able to embrace him, just short and companionable, nothing too fancy. Hop hit his growth spurt a couple of years ago and now stood a little taller than Leon would have. He still only came up to a little past Raihan's chin, though.

Now he was nervous for an entirely different reason and one that wasn't altogether unpleasant. He was fine, it was just a hug. Raihan wasn't a psychic Pokemon and couldn't read his mind. Hop was overthinking things.

That's what he thought as he slapped on a grin and drew closer. Raihan drew him into a one-armed hug, though Hop was close enough to rest his jaw on Raihan's shoulder where he took in the scent of designer cologne and cigarettes. It stayed with him even after he boarded the train.

He woke the next morning with a headache and a desire to remember what Raihan's cologne smelled like.

~

Thinking the feelings would fade over time, Hop plunged headfirst into his work. The lab was trying to isolate and identify the gene responsible for the coloration of shiny Pokemon and whether or not it was the same across the entire Pokemon spectrum or different per body type. Hop was in contact with a number of breeders in Galar for records on their breeding programs so that he could add them to his research. The majority of them were licensed and reputable, adhering to the standards set forth by the Galarian National Pokemon Breeding Association.

Then there were the reports on the not so reputable breeders that Hop looked into just to cover his bases. Many of the facilities raided didn't keep paperwork, but Pokemon centers in charge of the recovery and rehabilitation efforts of the mutated Pokemon had done genetic testing just to see what conditions the Pokemon might be susceptible to.

There was evidence of rampant inbreeding in almost every one of these cases. Mothers, fathers, sisters...brothers. The breeders were trying to produce as many Pokemon for sale with minimal cost. Normally, they would have brought compatible Pokemon from other breeders for the healthiest results (or a Ditto).

That didn't change the fact that when Hop brought home the case files one night for extra review, he wound up pacing the floor of the living room in his apartment with heart palpitations and a thin sheen of sweat all over his body. He poured a cup of tea to try to calm himself down and when that didn't work, he took some Bounsweet oil.

He wasn't surprised something like reading about incestuous Pokemon breeding procedures would trigger a panic attack. It hadn't even hit all at once. In fact, at first, he hadn't even thought of any similarities to Leon and himself. But about an hour into reading the police files and viewing pictures, he suddenly couldn't breathe.

Dubwool came over and bit his sweater to keep him from pacing anymore. Hop sank to his knees beside Dubwool as he licked his cheek. It brought him out of the hectic fog in his head that bombarded him with memories and physical sensations he wanted to forget.

Nature was supposed to have built-in an instinctive way to prevent inbreeding by programming living things with a sexual aversion towards their close family members (in sentient species, anyway). Apparently Hop had received that programming while Leon got none of it. A product of millions upon billions of years of evolution failed them. What went wrong? What was the missing gene? Was there a missing gene?

He was trying to explain the problem with science again and slowly realizing it might be impossible. But he just wanted to understand why Leon changed on a dime from his extraordinary older brother to a perverted rapist. Was the cause psychological? Was it influenced by a Pokemon? The more Hop tried to seek an answer, the more it seemed he would never find it.

In his heart, he wanted his brother back. The old Lee. The Lee that gave him his first Pokemon and called home on Sundays to talk about his battles. The Lee that took Hop out for ice cream and played video games with him until they were yelling at the NPCs. Hop missed that Lee so much it felt like he was being torn in half.

Soon enough, tears ran down his face in torrents and he sobbed into Dubwool's mane. It hurt. It hurt so badly. Why did the gods take his kind, understanding big brother from him and replace him with...whatever the hell Leon turned into? Hop missed his Lee so much.

His phone started vibrating on the coffee table and he coughed when it startled him. Instinctively, he grabbed it with a shaking hand and accepted the call before he could think about it or look at the caller ID.

Raihan's voice came clear and strong over the phone. "Oy, Hop. Are you following the gym challenge this year? They're starting the semifinals and it's a train wreck."

Hop had covered his mouth and nose in a desperate attempt to hide his sniffling. When Raihan paused to let Hop reply, Hop swallowed and tried to force a smile into his voice. Based on the way it wavered, he failed spectacularly.

"O-Oh, really? How so?" he said.

"Hey, Hop? What's the matter?" Raihan said, now concerned. He had been with Hop during more than one breakdown and knew the sound of his voice when he was crying.

"I just...ah...I was reading some stuff for work," Hop said, grabbing for a box of tissues next to the couch. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"You sure? 'Cause I have time right now. I can talk if you need to," Raihan said.

"Yeah, I'm s-sure," Hop said. He wasn't sure. He wanted to talk but he also didn't. He wanted to forget. "It's... It's nothing I haven't told you before."

"You know I don't care about that," Raihan said, with gentleness to his tone. "You can tell me something a dozen times if it'll make you feel better."

Despite the sting in his eyes and throat, Hop warmed. "Thank you...I'll be okay, I promise. I just need a minute."

"Take a deep breath, alright, mate?" Raihan said. 

Hop did so, taking in a shuddering breath while trying not to exhale directly onto the mouthpiece so that Raihan didn't get an earful of static. He took another and said, "T-Tell me about the train wreck?"

Raihan hummed and started telling him about the gym challengers who made it to the semifinals with unevolved Pokemon (Some challengers actually intended to use unevolved Pokemon, but these weren't among them) or powerful ones that they only really just caught, intending for them to be hard hitters, without actually learning about the new dynamics of their team. Apparently, some of the front bleachers had been collapsed with a wayward Hyper Beam. At least they were bleachers reserved for the championship match and were empty at the time.

"Didn't they beat you, though? They got the Dragon Gym Badge," Hop said, feeling exponentially better listening to Raihan talk.

"Yeah, with my gym team," Raihan supplied. "I have to keep that team at a certain level year to year, otherwise it throws a spanner in the works of the whole challenge. Most of the kids this year just shoved potions down the throats of their Pokemon anyway. Anyone's going to win if you do that."

"But you use full restores too," Hop said, leaning back against the legs of the couch cross-legged. Dubwool rested his head in Hop's lap. "I remember because you used one on your Duraludon after it took me _forever_ to whittle him down."

Raihan laughed. "I remember that. You came back though, didn't ya? Everyone who works in the gyms can only use one full restore, but that's a trade secret. Otherwise, the battles would take forever. So really, there's no excuse for losing."

"That's mean," Hop said, chuckling.

"Them's the works, luv. Can't go easy on them," Raihan said. There was a beat of silence in which Hop stopped moving, his eyes a bit wide. Raihan seemed to realize what he said and added, "Ah, said it again, didn't I? Sorry, Hopscotch. Didn't mean anything by it."

Truthfully, Hop had never complained about Raihan's use of 'luv' with him. A bunch of the older crowd in Wedgehurst used the nickname like a tic when speaking with just about everyone. But Raihan would apologize if he said it to Hop, probably assuming it would be a problem.

"I-I don't mind it," Hop said, heat rising in his face. _That_ reaction was new. It felt...nice hearing it, if a little embarrassing.

"Don't want to make you uncomfortable," Raihan said.

"You don't," Hop said, immediately.

There was a pause before Raihan hummed. Hop wanted desperately to see him, right then. At least he might have a clue as to what Raihan was thinking. It was a shame this wasn't a video call.

"Well, I just wanted to give you a bell," Raihan said. "They just don't make these challengers like they used to. Will you be alright?"

"Yeah, I will," Hop said, truthfully. "Thank you, Rai."

"Anytime, mate," Raihan said. "I mean that. Take care of yourself."

Once they hung up, Hop tipped his head back onto the seat of the couch. It was the same Raihan who knew how to pull him out of a breakdown, who could guide him on how to breathe and would get him water and painkillers if the panic attacks left him with a migraine. Who had a gentle smile and knew what happened to Hop without being disgusted or treating him like tarnished goods.

It was just that now the thought of Raihan made Sunkerns bloom into Sunfloras in his mind. The darkness on the edge of his consciousness ebbed away, little by little. Hop would have thought that Raihan would make him nervous, all things considered, like he would remind Hop of how things were back then. A tall, lean man who was friends with Leon. But some time after Raihan and Gloria rescued him, Raihan was a more comforting presence... Hop's hero, if you wanted to get sappy.

There was no use in denying it then. He was crushing on Raihan. These feelings weren't alcohol-induced. The Legendaries decided to align the stars just right because Hop's life wasn't complicated enough as it was.

Maybe nothing had to change. He never had to say anything and wasn't sure he even wanted to. Having a relationship with anyone was such a nebulous concept that he didn't know how to approach it. How did one initiate these things? According to Leon, you just crawled on top of them in the middle of the night and started making them touch you.

Hop could just stay in the "notice me Senpai" stage until the feeling faded away and things went back to the way they were.

Except...there was one question Hop wanted an answer for, something that had nagged him for years. Leon said that Raihan liked him. Hop was never able to confirm whether or not it was true or just another one of Leon's lies in an attempt to manipulate him. Raihan never gave any signs that it was true. If he had, Hop would have been more nervous after first being rescued. If Hop believed Raihan might hurt him, he'd be less likely to seek help.

Nausea niggled at his gut. If he had his answer, he'd be able to let it go. The trick was figuring out _how_. Subtlety wasn't one of Hop's strong points. He wore his emotions on his sleeve. But if he came out with it directly, he might be able to play it off. Or something.

Hop covered his face with his hands before gently moving Dubwool's head off of his lap and going to get dinner.

~

Time slipped away from him. He was so caught up in case studies and genome maps that he didn't process that three weeks had passed. He was in Hammerlocke with his briefcase held above his head to protect him from the rain because he forgot his umbrella on the train. There were documents he'd wanted from the Hammerlocke Library and he was praying that the briefcase was waterproof.

Suddenly, the rain turned into a downpour and it was such dirty luck that he laughed. There was an alcove with an awning in a nearby building with a cafe. He ducked into it and heaved a sigh of relief. Much of his clothes were wet and clung to his skin. He shivered and wiped at his eyes.

As he peeked into the briefcase to ensure the documents were in one piece, another body joined him in the alcove, also panting as though they'd been running.

"Lovely day for it, eh?" Hop said, not looking up as he snapped the case back together.

"Well, well, Hopscotch, look at you all dressed up." Raihan's voice startled Hop and his gaze whipped up. Raihan took off his orange headband and wrung it out while he eyed Hop up and down. Hop wasn't wearing anything fancy, just his white lab coat over a black shirt and pants. "You came to town and didn't even message me? You're breaking my heart."

"I-I didn't mean to," Hop stammered. "I mean, of course, I would have messaged you at some point. I just came here for some papers."

Raihan ruffled his wet hair. "I'm just giving you a hard time. I'm just as guilty. Last week I went to Motostoke to pick up some Nest Balls and it didn't occur to me until I got back here that I coulda texted you."

Hop laughed through his nose. "I wouldn't have been good company anyway unless you wanted to hear about genotypes and shinies."

"Are you serious? I'd listen to anything you have to say," Raihan said. Hop caught a subtle eyebrow waggle and felt warmth on the back of his neck.

Unsure of how to give that a dignified response, Hop gestured to the rain. "It rains harder here than in Postwick. I thought you were supposed to have a desert nearby in the Wild Area."

"We do. This is a spring rain," Raihan said. "You should see the Dusty Bowl when the storms are big enough to hit it. It's a different world. Gorgeous until it dries out again."

"I didn't know that," Hop said. "You'll have to let me know when it happens."

"Sure thing, mate," Raihan said. "We'll get Gloria too; make a day trip out of it. I was going to ask if you both wanted to get dinner this week. It's been a while. I wanna get pissed again."

"You don't have to wait for us to get pissed," Hop said with a lopsided smile.

"It's more fun with other people," Raihan protested. "There's always someone to take pictures when one of us does stupid shit."

"You? Doing something stupid? You're pulling my leg," Hop said.

Raihan pinched Hop's cheek and Hop waved him off playfully. "You're a cheeky thing today, aren't you?"

Raihan turned his head to peer at the rain and Hop had a moment to take in his profile. With or without the headband, he was still achingly handsome. Hop felt a tug in his belly and shivered, though he couldn't put his finger on why.

Was this a good time to bring up his...question? Here, alone with Raihan, taking a break from the rain like a scene from a movie (especially one of those damn romantic comedies he couldn't bear to watch)? It seemed like a brilliant way to kill the mood. But was it better to come out with it now and then squash it to get it out of the way? Was it too heavy to ignore after the fact? He was bringing up something from _back then_ after all, but Hop had learned that not talking about something gave it power over you. That was part of the reason why Gloria and Raihan had been so insistent that Hop could talk to them about it all. Talking took away the intimidating factor.

"You're thinking real hard about something, Hopscotch. I can tell," Raihan said. He glanced over at Hop and smiled. "What's on your mind?"

Hop gulped, suddenly caught like a Deerling in headlights. "Ah...I...I-It was nothing." He was lying. This wasn't helping anything. But there was a tense knot in him that was tightening and he wanted to relieve it. "Well...there was something I wanted to ask you, but I'm afraid this might be the wrong time."

Raihan shrugged. "Now's a good a time as any."

Hop worried his bottom lip, going quiet. Between the rain and the light through the delicately designed cafe windows through his jazzy music played, they had a lovely moment that he didn't want to ruin.

"It's not...a nice thing," Hop said, dropping his gaze down to the ground.

"All the more important to have it out then, eh?" Raihan said. 

Despite those words, Hop still hesitated. He clutched at his elbows and took a slow breath. Compared to this, slogging through a blizzard in the Wilds was a cakewalk. Without lifting his eyes, he said, "Back then...when...when I lived with Leon...He said that you..." Hop paused and swallowed. "That you...liked me. Was that true?"

The air shifted. Hop saw Raihan's entire body tense up as though poised to run or to fight. His pupils constricted into thin slits as he stared at Hop, whose shiver suddenly had nothing to do with his cold, wet clothes. He had almost assumed it wouldn't be true. He expected Raihan to scoff and play it off. 

"Oh yeah? Bloody son of a bitch said a lot of things, didn't he?" Raihan said. His chuckle was a tad dark. He averted his eyes from Hop and watched the rain again.

He wasn't denying it. Hop felt his heart claw its way into his throat. "I...I won't be mad no matter what you say."

Raihan was silent for a long moment. "Why're you asking me this?"

It was Hop's turn to stare at the ground. "I wondered about it for a long time. I wasn't sure if it was another one of his lies."

Another stretch of silence, then Raihan said. "This isn't a good place to talk." He jerked his thumb to the window of the cafe. "Let's get in there. We can dry off." He still wouldn't look at Hop.

Hop just nodded and followed him inside the building. It was homely and warm, but Hop's mind was whirling too much to really enjoy it. Raihan wasn't denying it. Hop's heart hammered with anxiety. He shouldn't have said anything. This was suddenly too much...

Raihan pointed at a free table by the windows, a bit set apart from the other patrons at the cafe. "Sit. I'm gonna get us some coffee." Before Hop could say anything, Raihan strode towards the counter. 

Hop sank into a chair at the table, gripping the edges of his seat in a white-knuckled grip. His briefcase sat beside him, forgotten. He suddenly felt sick; not because of the knowledge that Raihan may very well have liked him, but... He shouldn't have said anything. He was ruining everything they had built up around their friendship. 

There was also a horrible sense of deja vu. He'd sat like this at a cafe with Leon before. All his brother gave him were threats and ultimatums, caging him in, severing any hope of escape. 

It was true that they were in public. Maybe Raihan thought having people around would put Hop at ease while they talked instead of dragging Hop to his apartment in Hammerlocke Vault. But having people around hadn't done Hop a whole lot of good back then...

A cup was placed on the table in front of him as well as some packets of cream and sugar. Raihan took a seat on the other side. His headband dried on the table in front of him while he rubbed his temples. The fingers of his other hand gripped his cup a bit too tightly.

"W-We don't have to talk about it," Hop said. "It's fine."

"Nah, it's been bothering you, so let's have it out," Raihan said. They kept their voices low beneath the jazz music and rain against the window panes. Hop felt a perpetual heat settle in his cheeks. He fidgeted with his lab coat. Raihan raised his icy eyes up to him. "Yeah, I liked you. I don't know what the hell else he told you, but that's true. I didn't know he was keeping you there against your will."

If he heard this back then, Hop would have been mortified. Just knowing that Leon's friend _might_ desire him had been enough to make him fear Raihan when he so much as gave him chocolates at the hospital.

Now...Hop didn't know what he felt. Raihan never touched him inappropriately, even when Hop was at his most vulnerable. He wondered how far he would have gone had Leon allowed him and then decided he didn't want to think about it.

"Oh..." Hop said, simply. He stared into his coffee.

"I'm not going to do anything weird to you," Raihan said. 

"I-I figured..." Hop said. If Raihan wanted to do anything like that, he'd had more than enough opportunity. Hop had slept in Raihan's apartment on more than one occasion without even Gloria around.

There it was. He had his answer. He could just leave it at that. Just go on exactly how things had been until that point. Friendly and comfortable. But something in him wasn't satisfied with that and Hop knew if the whole story wasn't laid down on the table, he would regret it later. 

"...What about now?" Hop said, barely above a whisper. If they hadn't been focused on one another, Raihan might've missed it. 

Raihan was tapping a fingernail on the table, his coffee abandoned. After a couple of long breaths, he muttered, "I never stopped."

It wasn't like when Leon said he had romantic feelings for Hop or when he said he loved him. There was a pleasant thrum that took Hop by surprise. His pulse picked up. Hop thought these sensations were dead to him. 

"...It's okay," he said. 

Raihan watched him cautiously, gauging his reaction. It was a far cry from the mischievous or predatory looks he threw at his opponents across the battlefield. He probably expected Hop to flee from him. 

Hop's clutched at his arms. He knew what he could say and dreaded it. Because the first time he'd said it had backfired remarkably and he was setting himself up for failure. But it was like Raihan said, better to have it out and be done with it. The worst that could happen was rejection. They might not want to see each other for a while. It would hurt, but he would survive. He lived through worse. 

Nothing would happen afterward. Hop wouldn't run; he didn't need to. Rejection couldn't do shit to him. Leon wasn't there to find him, push him down, and rape him in a tent. His nerves were replaced by a quiet rage when he remembered that night. Years of shoving down his emotions under a pressure that made them fester and now they wanted to burst. 

He didn't know where Leon was or if he was even still alive, but Hop almost wished he was so he could see this; so that maybe the message would get through his brother's delusions. Leon couldn't control him anymore. 

_Fuck you, Leon._

He could burn in Giratina's hell for all Hop cared.

His hands shook as he raised his head and met Raihan's gaze. 

"I have feelings for you," Hop said, maybe putting more strength into his words than he needed. He could tell by the way confusion and surprise flashed across Raihan's face. Hop was confessing his feelings...angrily; sending mixed messages all over the place. He felt himself go red and he cleared his throat, softening his voice as he said, "I like you too."

Raihan blinked at him. "You do?" He reached up and rubbed the lower half of his face. "Are you sure?"

"I think so," Hop said. "I mean, yes. I am serious." His ears were warming now. "Y-You've been nice to me. You were there for me, you _saved_ me."

Raihan frowned. "You don't feel that way just because I helped you, do you? 'Cause you don't owe me anything."

"I know," Hop said. He glanced up at Raihan. It was harder to tell with his dark skin tone, but he was flushed. Hop had never seen that on him before. Raihan was supposed to be suave and collected. A playboy, according to his social media. Not blushing when someone was telling him they liked him.

"...Blimey. Thought you were going to tear someone's head off," Raihan said. 

"Sorry," Hop said. "I was just thinking about _him_. I don't want him to haunt me anymore. I want to know what it's supposed to be like to be with someone I actually have feelings for."

Raihan's eyebrows rose as he listened. Then he said, measured, "And...I'm the one you want to be with."

Hop nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Raihan leaned back in his chair. 

"Well... can't say I expected today to end up like this," he said. His face softened as he watched Hop. "Listen...I know I have a reputation, but we can take things slow, alright? I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me to do."

The fluttering in Hop's chest increased in its frenzy. This was nice. This was good. He could do this.

"Does that mean... you'll be with me?" Hop asked.

Slowly, Raihan raised his arm and reached out to Hop, pausing between them with his palm up in invitation. Letting Hop be the one to make the decision. Hop released one of his sleeves and gently laid his hand on Raihan's. They curled around each other. It was warm.

Raihan took on the soft tone of someone speaking to a baby Pokemon. "Yeah...We can give it a go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is a way to process my emotions after Your Biggest Fan ended and a lot of it is probably self-indulgent, haha!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure there's a date in here somewhere.

Hop's Pokemon never got over the months during which he was tormented by Leon. They could have been the first resources he turned to for help, he supposed. That's what they were for - guarding their trainer, right? How easy it would be just to send out his Corviknight and escape or send out Dubwool to drive Leon back.

In the years after his rescue, he wondered why he never used them. He remembered distinctly _begging_ them to stay in their Pokeballs and to leave things as they were. All of them, ever obedient to their trainer, did just that. Hop wanted to believe he could reason with Leon, talk some sense back into him, get him to realize how _wrong_ it all was. If his Pokemon attacked Leon, they might kill him and at the time, Hop wasn't sure his mental state would have been able to handle it. The authorities would have asked him questions. The truth would be revealed, possibly all over Galar. Hop would be known as the one who killed his ex-champion brother, the rapist.

So he pleaded with all of his Pokemon to stay calm, to let him deal with everything. If they tried to fight for Hop, Leon would likely send out his own team and then they might be hurt. Leon wasn't the champion for ten years for nothing. Hop's team would be decimated. He would never, ever forgive himself for that.

That didn't make it any easier for them, especially knowing how injured he was physically and mentally. By the time Leon started locking Hop up in his room in the Wyndon apartment, his Pokeballs had been confiscated. Leon took them somewhere and never told Hop where they were. It was only after the whole thing was over that Hop found out they had been stored in one of Leon's own boxes at the Pokemon Center. It was the safest place for them where Hop wouldn't have access - effectively severing what Hop thought was his last means of escape.

He withdrew his team with Gloria as soon as Leon was taken into custody and Raihan had managed to get the access keys to Leon's boxes. As soon as Hop had returned to Raihan's flat, all six of them forced their way out of their Pokeballs and crowded him until he couldn't breathe. They stayed that way for _hours_ and Hop had no desire to move them.

Since then, all of them, even the ones stored in Hop's boxes at the Pokemon Center, had come to a consensus. Hop wasn't allowed to be alone anymore. One or more of them had to be out and present at all times and they would refuse to go back into their balls unless he was in meetings, surrounded by other people to the point that having them out would be inconvenient, or if he was traveling. It was non-negotiable, no matter how much he tried to reassure them it wasn't necessary because Leon was gone. It was then that it became quite clear to Hop that Pokemon _chose_ to obey their trainers in battle, but they weren't obligated to. Pokemon bonded with their trainers and the best teams consisted of symbiotic relationships.

But Pokemon would always have their own individual agency. If that included going against their trainers' wills, then so be it.

His Pokemon weren't the only ones that needed to be considered once all was said and done. All of Leon's team had been withdrawn and his boxes deactivated. Hop wasn't the only one that Leon would never see again.

They were terribly confused and guilt-ridden. They loved Hop - most of them had known him all their lives. But they were also loyal to Leon and therefore didn't interfere with what he was doing to his little brother. Charizard, in particular, underwent the Pokemon version of a mental breakdown and had to be taken to a rehabilitation center.

They were offered to Hop to take care of but he...didn't really want to. He didn't particularly blame them for what their trainer did, but they also served as a grim reminder of Leon. He declined and the last he heard of them was that they would be given to Hop and Leon's mum. If she declined, they may very well be released or given to new trainers. 

It was probably better that way. They should be given to someone who would be able to love them without the extra baggage. And oh boy, was there enough baggage to fill an entire airport terminal.

Hop's Pokemon never gave up on him, though. If anything, their resolve strengthened to keep him safe over time. Zacian and Dubwool seemed to have a special understanding between them. Dubwool had been with Hop the longest from his earliest days as a Wooloo and Zacian had _chosen_ Hop as worthy to be accompanied. Zacian may have been slumbering for entire ages, but he knew pain when he saw it and it wasn't long before he learned enough about human culture to know the significance of one brother molesting the other. 

One day, Hop was washing some dishes in the kitchen when he heard a long, low growl from over the counter that separated him from the living room. Zacian had been laying flat across the entire couch when a special came on about former Champion Leon. Hop saw him lift his head and glare at the telly. 

It was like nothing Hop had ever heard from him before; it was bass in pitch and deadly. A shiver went down his spine when he heard it. The sound of a wolf who had identified prey and wanted nothing more than to go in for a kill. He hadn't even sounded like that when Gloria and Hop were battling Eternatus.

Hop came around the counter and approached him slowly. "It's okay, he's not there. It's just a program." He said this despite the fact that he couldn't bring himself to look at the telly; he couldn't see Leon's face without feeling his defenses go up. He put a gentle hand on Zacian's neck and stroked his fur.

Zacian gave him a slight glance before growling again. Maybe it would be better to change the channel. But as he reached for the remote, Zacian moved away from him. Hop could only watch in surprise and fascination as he used a paw to press the power button on the side of the television, which blinked off.

So not only did he have the intellect to tell the difference between a person that was actually there vs. on a screen, but he had watched Hop work the TV enough to know how to turn it on and off. The thoughts whirling around his head brought a welcome distraction from the dread seeing Leon had brought. Zacian padded back over to him and sat down, watching him. Hop knelt and rubbed around his mane.

Zacian nuzzled his face and Hop hummed, closing his eyes. "I'm fine, I promise. Thank you," he whispered.

His Pokemon weren't just guarding him physically, but mentally too. Hop had a distinct impression that if Zacian were to ever see Leon in person again, Leon would be sliced in half and devoured. Dubwool would probably help. What was worrying was that a tiny, dark feeling in the back of Hop's mind wanted to see that happen. Over time, his fear and despair had slowly turned into anger that Hop had tried to suppress.

His therapist told him that it didn't help to try to dismiss his feelings. His anger was valid and shouldn't be ignored. He was allowed to hate Leon for everything he did. He didn't have to forgive his abuser until he felt good and ready. That was refreshing to hear when the usual narrative was to forgive and move on.

The anger probably had a lot to do with the fact that he never had the chance to face Leon. He didn't really want to see his brother again, but he had things to say to him. He wanted to tell him how much he was hurting, to demand an explanation. He wanted Leon to know what kind of pain he had felt back then and how he suffered now - like the nights he jerked away in tears and a sheen of sweat over his body because he dreamed of Leon holding him against a wall with a hand over his mouth, forcing his way inside...

He clutched at his arms and sighed. During these times, he would text Raihan just to talk about other things, even if they were mundane - what they did today, what they were planning on having for dinner, or what the Trapinch Raihan was currently raising had chewed up while he was away. Raihan was going through a lot of couch cushions. He could have crated the Trapinch, but "dragons weren't meant to be caged."

They were talking on a daily basis, nowadays. Well, they pretty much had been talking daily before they decided they wanted to explore a...relationship, but now there were distinct overtones to their conversations. Whenever they had a video call, Hop knew he was probably pink half of the time, but he couldn't help it when Raihan spoke to him in that low tone with lidded eyes.

He called Hop 'luv' freely now after Hop told him it was okay. Even if it was decidedly more casual than saying the big "I love you," it was enticing to hear and he wanted Raihan to say it to him in person again.

"Hey, there's a fireworks show in Hammerlocke Friday evenin'," Raihan said, one night. "For St. Gardevoir's Day, you know? You should come to watch them if you have time."

Hop glanced at the calendar pad on his desk. The lab was closed for Gardevoir's Day on account that it was a national holiday (a bank holiday, they called it, but he was pretty sure it was just an excuse for the CEO's to have a paid day off). "I'm free that day. I'd love to go. Shall we invite Gloria too?"

"I ran it passed her yesterday. She's gonna be doing a live show in Wyndon," Raihan said.

"So...So it will just be you and me, then," Hop said, feeling heat rise up his neck.

"That alright?" Raihan said, levelly. His eyes were soft, but he was focused on Hop in the way he usually did when he was waiting to see his reaction.

"O-Of course," Hop said, quickly. "I just...I guess that means...it's a date?" He worried his bottom lip, suddenly self-conscious about how bashful he sounded, but he wanted to be sure.

Raihan chuckled on the other side. "It can be if you want."

Butterfrees beat their wings against Hop's ribs. A date. Arguably Hop's first date if you didn't count Leon's pseudo-date in Wyndon. But Hop didn't like to think about that. Dates were supposed to be something you enjoyed...according to the movies. Hop relied on movies an awful lot.

Giddiness spread throughout him but was quickly followed up with trepidation. His natural skepticism said this was too good to be true. It was only a matter of time before something went horribly wrong because that's what always happened when something good happened to Hop. He didn't want to be disappointed again. Or hurt again, for that matter.

Raihan wasn't Leon. He had to remember that. Even if he was around during that dark time, he hadn't hurt Hop.

Hop was just desperate for this to go well; for /something/ to go right for once in his life. If anybody would be able to mess this up spectacularly, it was him. But if he didn't take the risk, how would he know the outcome? Data couldn't be collected without an experiment having taken place first.

"I...would like that," he said, softly.

Raihan's smile widened. "Alright then. It's a date."

~

Dubwool lounged on his bed while he stood in front of his closet. He hadn't realized how easy it was to fall into a professor's tendency to always wearing labcoats every day wherever he was. It was such a staple in his closet that it was almost ridiculous.

What did people wear on an actual date anyway? Was watching fireworks a dress-up occasion or casual? Where was Gloria when Hop needed her?

Oh right, he hadn't told her he and Raihan might possibly be seeing each other yet. Somehow, the thought of confessing that to her felt unnerving. Would she be happy? Offended? Was he moving on too fast (even years after he tried to confess his feelings to her in an act of desperation)...

He sat down heavily next to Dubwool with a navy blue button-up shirt in his hands.

"I don't know what I'm doing," he told Dubwool. "Am I overthinking things?"

Dubwool nuzzled the side of his hip, specifically the pocket of his pants. There was Poketreat residue inside. Hop turned it out and showed Dubwool that all he had were crumbs. Dubwool snorted in disappointment.

"You've had enough anyway," Hop said, patting his head.

With a sigh, he settled on the navy shirt and a pair of black slacks. He washed his face in the bathroom and combed his hair. After a while of inspecting himself in the mirror, he decided he looked as good as he was going to get and reached up to slap the sides of his face in preparation for...

Shit. Old habits died hard, didn't they?

His hands froze and then dropped to his sides. He suddenly couldn't look at his reflection. Intrusive thoughts loved to haunt him at the most inopportune time and then sit back as he squirmed uncomfortably. He just didn't want his mood killed for tonight.

He turned off the bathroom light and went to collect his wallet and keys. He stopped when he faced the front door.

Zacian sat there looking at him coolly. Hop swallowed and averted his eyes, suddenly feeling like a teenager caught trying to sneak out of the house. Hop had told them who he was meeting tonight and why. He hadn't thought it would matter or that they wouldn't understand. Apparently they understood all too well.

"I'll be back later, I promise," Hop said.

Zacian watched him a moment longer and then dropped his Ultra ball on the ground, using his muzzle to roll it to Hop.

"There'll be people around. He wouldn't be able to do anything if he wanted to," Hop said, though that argument was still debatable.

Zacian huffed in response. Behind Hop, Dubwool stepped into the hall and bleated lowly. Hop was flanked and outnumbered. He sighed and stooped to pick up the Pokeball. This would be the first time Raihan met Zacian. He never thought to introduce him before this.

Peering back at Dubwool, he said, "You've met him. He's never tried anything to me before. Help me out here."

Instead, Dubwool looked at him pointedly. Oh right, that argument was -also- moot. Leon hadn't tried anything to Hop before either...until he did.

Hop ran his fingers through his hair and said, "Alright, alright. Just...try not to scare him off."

Zacian made a thrum in response before going back into his Pokeball. Looks like Hop would have a chaperone tonight.

He caught the mid-afternoon train between Motostoke and Hammerlocke. 

Zacian had gone back into his Pokeball willingly enough, but he knew once they arrived and found Raihan, they'd have to be careful not to make a scene. The skies were clear as the train rolled by. The wind was light - perfect for the fireworks. Hop ignored the perpetual heat rising up his neck by scrolling through Pinsergram and Cinderacebook.

He was successful in pressing down his nerves until he came across posts from Raihan taken from a live event earlier that day and he was taking selfies with some fans with that trademark toothy grin. Hop found himself smiling in, a giddiness sinking into his chest.

It was all so new. Like experiencing his high school crush years all over again. The innocence of puppy love when even seeing pictures of the person he was interested in could make him blush. Just for a while...he let himself relish it. He could enjoy the way his heart beat faster and the sparks of warmth that flashed up and down his spine.

He should enjoy it while it lasted before he started thinking about Raihan potentially wanting to touch him later and the can of worms it would open. The things Leon had said Raihan would do...

Stop. Just stop. Stop thinking about that.

The damage was done. The blush had drained away. Rotom blinked up at him, apparently concerned at the sudden shift in his mood.

"Would you like me to find more pictures of Gym Leader Raihan?" Rotom said. "There's a new website archiving candid photographs of him on the beach in Hulbury."

Oh, photos of Raihan in various states of _undress._ Perfect. That would be both good and bad.

"I think I'm okay, thanks," Hop said. He spent the rest of the trip to Hammerlocke sunken into his seat with his headphones jammed so deeply into his ears that the music was being transferred straight into his brain.

The officials were planning on setting off the fireworks from the inside of Hammerlocke stadium with the roof open so that the bursts would look like they were coming out of the top of the vault. A bunch of spectators could opt to sit inside of the stadium where they had thin barriers between the field and the seats to protect against debris. May as well make them dual-use when they were already there to protect the crowd against Raihan's frequent use of Sandstorms.

He and Raihan weren't going to be sitting inside of the stadium, though. Raihan said he had a special place in mind for them to watch the show but wouldn't tell him where. They were supposed to meet in front of the bridge that led to the entrance of the stadium.

It was late evening and a good amount of people were in the streets. Street vendors were set up in front of the Vault and around the Pokemon Center. The scent of fried bread and cotton candy coated everything. It made Hop's stomach growl. Maybe he could convince Raihan to split a Copperajah ear with him. 

His appetite fell away the moment he finally caught sight of Raihan, though. A small gaggle of girls was ogling him and taking pictures. Hop would have been jealous but for the fact that he could see _why_ they were giggling so hard. At some point during the day, Raihan had changed out of his gym uniform and hoodie and into a suit. 

He held the jacket over his shoulder with a couple of fingers as he spoke to the young ladies, his free hand gesturing along with whatever it was he was saying. His orange headband was off and he wore a dress shirt with a vest ensemble. His Rotom drifted around him, lazily snapping a pic every so often and Hop knew without having to look at a single app that they were garnering a bunch of likes and reposts.

Hop couldn't blame the fans. He paused where he stood on the other side of the landing from the Pokemon Center. The nerves that piled on top of each other during the train ride there had reached maximum capacity and he didn't know why. This was Raihan - the same Raihan that would get drunk and laugh while watching Milo and Nessa's battles. He just...looked really good tonight.

Hop managed to swallow the desire to turn and flee. He suddenly felt very underdressed. Raihan didn't dress up like that just for their date, did he? The heat rising up his neck made a couple of beads of sweat roll down, threatening to spot the collar of his shirt. He was suddenly all too aware of how warm it was in the city at that time of year, with the bricks of the old vault and platforms soaking up the sun every day and releasing the heat at night. At least it was a dry heat, or else Hop would be sweating buckets and he would have to dunk into a fountain to try and save him some embarassment...or something. He wasn't thinking with too much sense, right then.

Apparently he stood there staring long enough. At some point, Raihan's gaze swept over the platform (probably keeping an eye out for Hop, incidentally) and he caught sight of Hop. His grin widened and he excused himself from the ladies, who watched after him dreamily, phones held aloft. Raihan was Hammerlocke's resident dragon, its pride and joy. As vicious as he was prideful, as suave as he was generous. Generous with his face and his time, which he gracefully set aside for his fans.

That was the image they held of their idol. Hop wondered if seeing him in a suit - so civilized for a savage dragon - wasn't going to short-circuit everyone.

Hop blinked when he realized that Raihan was halfway to him. No turning back now. He rubbed his arm as his feet carried him forward.

"G-Good evening," Hop said, when he was within a reasonable distance. "You look...great. I mean, very nice."

Raihan chuckled. "You mean all this?" He gestured to the suit. "I had a meeting with our newest Chairman and I figured it wouldn't hurt to make a good first impression." He gave Hop a lazy grin. "Just so happened that I figured it would work well for tonight too. I'm not used to so many layers. More places for sand to hide in, yeah?"

His eyes had been flicking over Hop's own appearance. "You're not bad yourself." His eyebrows raised a tad appreciatively. "And by that, I mean really bloody amazing."

Hop felt his face gush. "Ah...thank you. I was hoping it was good enough."

Raihan snickered and leaned in a bit. "Hopscotch, you could show up in sweats and I'd think you're gorgeous."

"A-Ah. S-Same here," Hop stammered. He felt like he was talking himself into a corner and was trying to cast about for a different subject when he felt a twitch at the side of his waist where his Pokeball holder was attached to his belt. Oh no...

"How about we go somewhere with fewer people?" he said, quickly. Then, worried that might sound desperate, he added, "I have Zacian with me and I think he wanted to meet you."

Raihan smiled dropped in surprise. "Zacian?"

Hop opened his mouth to reply, about to move to take Raihan's arm and guide him to a less populated spot, when the familiar clicking of a Pokeball could be heard and Zacian emerged right beside Hop. Thing was, Zacian was _huge_ ; so much so that he used to tower over Hop before he'd hit his growth spurt. He stood about a head higher than most of the people around them. To Hop's dismay, several people began to gather around them, murmuring to each other and asking what kind of Pokemon it was that they were seeing. More than one phone came out to take pictures of the legendary dog.

Zacian, however, had his gaze fixed on Raihan. Judging by Raihan's expression, this was one of the few times when a Pokemon of Zacian's dimensions was tall enough to look him in the eyes. At least Zacian hadn't felt the need to don his war form yet, as Hop didn't think a big-ass sword like the one Zacian carried in his jowls in battle would go over very well with the local authorities.

Hop laughed a shallow, humorless laugh and reached up to pat Zacian. "He...uh...He's heard so much about you! Zacian, this is Raihan, the gym leader of the dragon-type gym right here in Hammerlocke. Rai, this is Zacian. He's an ancient warrior who helped stop the Darkest Day. He's also a big dog."

"Yeah, he is," Raihan said. For once, there was no sign of a toothy smile, only shock. To his credit, though, he didn't exactly look _afraid_. He dropped his suit jacket onto a nearby bench, slowly so as not to make any sudden movements and alarm Zacian. "I've heard a lot about him too. There was a long section about him in history class. Kinda wish I'd paid more attention now."

Zacian lowered his head and sniffed at Raihan, at first leaving a little space between them, but then shoving his nose right up against the front of his vest and towards his neck. His large, amber eyes narrowed. Raihan stayed very still while he was investigated, though he smiled.

"Well, it's right brilliant to meet you," he said. "Considerin' that you saved all of our lives, thanks are in order."

Zacian thrummed and raised his head back up. Seeing that he wasn't about to be torn apart, Raihan slowly lifted his hand and set it on Zacian's muzzle, stroking up his forehead and passed his ears. Zacian gave a long exhale and his eyes grew lidded. Hop forced himself to relax a tad. This was going alright, all things considering. He could have done without the crowd now taking videos of the entire thing, but at least no one was getting hurt. They just wanted to record the spectacle that was their beloved gym leader with a new Pokemon. Explaining to Raihan why exactly Zacian wanted to interrogate him like this would have made Hop feel a lot better, but he couldn't do it in front of all of these people.

But he still lowered his voice and said, "I told him we were going to...hang out and he wanted to make sure you were safe."

"Oh yeah?" Raihan said, still stroking Zacian's face. Zacian had visibly relaxed under the touch. His eyes had nearly slid shut, but he was still watching Raihan. "Well, you're just looking after your friend, right? Nothing wrong with that."

Zacian's eyes slid open a little wider and he padded around Raihan, sniffing at him here and there, huffing every so often. Raihan was taking all of this like a champ, staying in place but for a look of amusement. When Zacian had done a full circle, he came over to Hop and nuzzled his cheek, casting a glance over at Raihan. Hop blushed with embarrassment.

"So that's really what this is about? You wanna make sure your Hopscotch is safe?" Raihan said, raising an eyebrow. He dug around in one of the pockets of his suit jacket and pulled out a tin that held a wafer biscuit in the shape of a tube with Pokepuff cream in the middle. Hop recognized it because Raihan often slipped one of them to Dubwool when he thought Hop wasn't looking.

One of the biscuits was pulled out and held up to Zacian, who sniffed it cautiously. "Here, a token of my goodwill," Raihan said, putting some theatrics into his tone. Apparently Zacian was pleased with it because he lapped up and ate the biscuit. He thrummed and licked his lips.

Just when Hop thought he could breathe a sigh of relief, to his mortification he saw Raihan sink down and kneel on one knee in front of Zacian. Zacian peered down at him with a peculiar expression, but waited to see what he would do.

"R-Rai, you don't have to..." Hop began. There was a flurry of murmurs from the crowd. More cell phones came out. Hop was pretty sure he was turning bright red and wished the ground would swallow him up. Raihan's slacks were probably getting dirty, but he didn't seem to care. He grinned up at Zacian, his icy blue eyes glinting with something like playfulness. But his voice sounded all too genuine.

"I give you my word, Hero of Galar," Raihan told Zacian, "I'll take care of him. And I won't let anyone else hurt him, either."

Hop was too busy covering his face with his hands to pay attention to the scene. He was dimly aware of Zacian sitting down beside him, no longer tense or suspicious. There was a short thrum from him, no longer angry or as growly as before - just a sound of approval. Hop slowly pulled his hands away from his eyes to peer at the pair. Raihan climbed back up to his feet, brushing off his pants.

"I-Is that good enough for you?" Hop asked Zacian, who nodded. "Alright, then will you _please_ get back into your Pokeball?" Another nod and Hop pressed the button on the Ultra Ball. Zacian disappeared in a beam of energy.

The crowd around them clapped. For a moment, Hop was utterly confused until he heard someone say, "Good show, good show!" They...thought this was a bit? Some skit for the festival? It wouldn't be out of character for their gym leader to do something random like that. Hop was certainly in no hurry to correct them. The air cooled his cheeks when he finally dropped his hands. 

The crowd began to disperse with Raihan taking a selfie with those who remained in the background. He seemed to be making an effort to keep them off of Hop, who felt as though he was going to shatter and blow away with the wind. After a bit, Hop felt a hand on his arm and looked up to see Raihan grinning down at him.

"Come on. Let's go somewhere more private," he said and then dragged Hop behind the Pokemon Center. The back lot of the Center had shoots of grass growing through the cracks of the concrete and ended in the drop off to the moat around Hammerlocke Castle.

"If anyone posts those videos, it's not going to cause you trouble, is it?" Hop said. "If people start gossiping that you and I are together..."

"I've had worse posted about me, don't you worry," Raihan said. "Besides, everyone knows a relationship isn't real until you change your status on Cinderacebook."

Hop was still skeptical, but everything he asked, Rai seemed to have an answer for, so he stopped throwing his questions out. Seeing this, Raihan sent out his Flygon who hummed when she saw Hop and nuzzled his arm. 

"You've got your Corviknight on you?" Rai said, to which Hop nodded, peering up at him questioningly. "Bring 'im out. I'll show you where we're going tonight."

Corviknight ruffled his feathers and cooed when he appeared. Raihan gestured for him to board while he himself climbed onto Flygon. They lifted off as the sky was truly darkening, the only light of the setted sun a thin light on the horizon. The great brick 'wings' of Hammerlocke castle loomed over them, disappearing into the darkness overhead. It was to one of these offshoots that Raihan and Flygon led Hop - towards the tip of the topmost left wing that had a circular platform with a flag and a brick railing. 

They touched down on the platform where Raihan had apparently spread out a blanket with a bottle of wine and two delicate glasses. Hop's face heated when he saw it. 

"Th-This looks amazing, Rai," Hop said. "Are you sure we're allowed up here?"

Raihan got off of Flygon. "No one's stopped me before," he said, chuckling. "So, you like it?"

Hop's eyes were practically shining as he took a look over the railing. They could see all of Hammerlocke, the houses, the manors, the way the city's terrain sloped to the Wilds and the Dusty bowl that disappeared into the dark void beyond.

And the Lake of Outrage, but Hop ignored that area. 

He turned back to look at the spire above the castle and the top of the stadium behind that. The roof was open.

"Is it safe for us to be here? The ash won't fall on us?" Hop said.

"Nah, I've been coming up here for years for the fireworks and ain't nothing's hit me," Raihan said. "Wind's blowing the wrong direction, anyway."

Flygon and Corviknight had both roosted next to each other on one side of the blanket. Corviknight was grooming Flygon's scales with his beak. Raihan smiled at Hop and gestured at the blanket. "Shall we?"

"Y-Yeah," Hop muttered. He came over and sank down, leaning back on Corviknight, who then began preening through Hop's hair. Raihan settled down next to him against Flygon, pouring them a couple of glasses of wine. Hop took one with a quiet thanks. 

Raihan had left a little space between them. Hop was grateful for the consideration, but it felt too empty. He just wasn't sure how to go about asking for some simple physical contact ~~that wouldn't lead to more~~. as much as he didn't want to think about it at a time like this, he considered what Leon had done as his only frame of reference, which was just to grab Hop - his hand, his arm, his jaw to lean in for a kiss... As though he had _every right_ to touch Hop, as though he were a possession that he could handle however he wished. 

A quiet indignity flared up in his gut. 

"We...We can sit closer if you want," Hop said. 

Raihan peered over at him. "Sure, just didn't wanna cross a line too soon."

There was something funny about that - about how something like just sitting close to someone had turned into potentially iffy territory. Funny, yet incredibly bitter. This was how low the bar had to be set. To be fair, Hop himself didn't know exactly where his boundary was.

Their sides were touching a moment later. There it was, the smell of Rai's cedar and fir balsam cologne, aptly named Draco Noir. It was comforting.

_But touch was bad._

"P-Put your arm around me...please?" Hop said, his face heating. He didn't want to sound commanding.

Raihan smiled a bit and his heavy arm rested over Hop's shoulders. He couldn't feel the bite of the breeze anymore, even when they were this high up. The brick railing deadened the wind but also...Raihan was _really warm_ like he had a furnace inside of him. The dragon tamer indeed...

Hop let out a long exhale, letting himself relax. Rai's thumb stroked over the skin of his upper arm. "You alright?" he murmured to Hop.

"Y-Yeah," Hop whispered. He took a sip of his wine. "It's nice...It's nice with you."

There was a low hum, not at all unhappy. They lapsed into a companionable silence as the sky darkened above them. The horizon turned orange and then blue as music from the festivities on the streets below drifted up to them. Flygon kept trying to get into the treat pocket of Rai's jacket.

"You're entirely too good at this," Hop said.

Raihan blinked at turned his head to look at him. "This? What'dya mean?"

Hop made a vague gesture around them. "At this...at romantic things. I have no idea what I'm doing."

There was a low laugh from Raihan. "Eh, neither do I. This isn't usually my style. Just figured something a little more high-class would appeal to you."

Hop laughed through his nose at that. "The highest-class thing my family ever did was have barbecues in our backyard. Well...besides the Championship galas that the Chairman held for...for my brother..." He trailed off.

"You don't have to talk about him," Raihan said, his voice a low rumble.

"I'm trying not to. I don't want to think about him, it's just hard," Hop said, his smile fading. "I just want to be with you in peace. You're...you're the only person I think I'd be able to do this with."

Raihan squeezed his shoulder. "That's right sweet of you, Hop. I wanna make this good for you, even if it doesn't work out in the end. You should feel safe."

Hop fell quiet for a moment, worrying his lip. "What if it does work out in the end?"

"Then you'll have to put up with Goomies leaving slime trails all over our home for the rest of your life," Raihan said, grinning. Hop snorted unexpectedly at that. There was a pleasant coil deep in his belly, all the same. _Our home._

The thought of spending /years/ with Leon had made him freeze with horror and dread. The knowledge that he would continue to endure Leon's revolting touch, have to pretend to function under the illusion of free will for the unforeseeable future, suffocated the air from his young lungs. It had made him jump off that balcony of Leon's apartment...After shattering a glass against Leon's head, he mustn't forget that. Looking back at that night, Hop realized he didn't regret a thing. Should that worry him?

But...spending years with Raihan? Letting things between them shape and grow...learning about each other, even waking up next to him in the morning. It revived his heart, sent tingles through his chest and arms. It made him feel lighter, released sweet dopamine in his brain. Even if they never became intimate later on.

But the thought of that opened up a new can of worms that he didn't want to deal with. Because while _he_ would be able to deal with a relationship that never went further...Raihan might feel differently. Rai said they would go slow. How slow was tolerably slow? Did he want Hop to...put out eventually?

His lips trembled. He realized he hadn't responded to the Goomies comment. "I'll be fine with them if you're okay with Cinderace shedding all over the carpet."

Raihan snickered. "Slime or fur? Which is worse, I wonder?"

They were just about in complete darkness now. The top of the castle's spire had completely faded, the most prominent sound the flag that flopped softly in the wind above them. Hop was pretty sure Corviknight had fallen asleep, in which case, the fireworks were probably going to be a rude awakening.

Hop glanced at what he could see of Raihan's profile. There was a thin sliver of moon that night so it wasn't bright enough to see his face well, but Hop could fill in the blanks in his mind. The fierce, noble dragon of Hammerlocke (it wasn't that Hop was a poet; he had read that line in an article about one of Rai's Pokemon battles).

A desire suddenly surfaced through all of the mess in his head. His eyes dropped to Raihan's lips and he swallowed nervously. It wasn't a bad kind of anticipation.

"C-Can...Can I..." Hop stammered softly.

Raihan looked down at him curiously. "Can you what?"

Heat gushed into Hop's face and he surprised himself with the fact that he actually _wanted_ to do this. His heart hammered in his chest. "Can I...kiss you?"

From what Hop could see of his expression, Raihan was surprised too. "You sure you want to?"

Hop swallowed. "Yeah, I want to." Now, before he lost his nerve.

He could feel that icy blue gaze on him a little closer. "Then it's fine with me." But he still paused. He let Hop be the one to lean in, should he change his mind.

But he didn't change his mind. He leaned up and in until he could feel Raihan's warm breath on his lips and then he pressed them together. Rai's lips were warm and soft, if not slightly chapped. They would have to get him some chapstick, Hop's mind deliriously supplied. He didn't pull back immediately but lingered there. His hand came up to settle on Raihan's vest as though to anchor himself there. In response, Raihan cupped the side of Hop's face and their lips began to move with each other.

It wasn't heated, but it was sweet. Sweet and good. The first good kiss Hop ever had and he couldn't help the thought, _Oh, so this is what it's supposed to feel like._

When they finally separated, they didn't go too far. Hop opened his eyes.

"It good?" Rai murmured.

"Yeah," Hop replied. Raihan leaned in again and Hop's eyes slid shut for a blissful moment.

Then the loud burst of a firework shook them both and made Corviknight jump out of his steel feathers with a squawk. The kiss dissolved into laughter, their foreheads pressed together until they could regain their senses. Hop was light-headed with elation.

"W-We should watch," he said, though he gave Raihan one last peck that was so natural it would bring tears to his eyes when he thought back to it later that night.

"I guess we came all the way up here to do that, didn't we?" Raihan said.

Hop didn't move the hand on Raihan's chest, he only took a sip of wine and then laid his head on Raihan's shoulder as the fireworks went wild over the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally made Raihan too romantic. Needs more Himbo.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chatting with a couple old friends.

_HOOOOPPPPP are you and rai going out???_

This was the text from Gloria that Rotom read aloud to Hop on Saturday morning while he was still laying in bed. He rubbed his eyes, feeling inexplicably doomed, though he couldn't name a reason why. Unless Raihan spilled the beans, he didn't know how she figured it out. 

He decided to bite the bullet (she was going to find out sooner or later) and had Rotom send the message: _Yeah, kinda_

He had finally got himself to crawl out of bed and had luckily just gotten done with using the bathroom when Rotom flashed with a call. 

"Shall I accept the call?" Rotom said. 

Hop peered at himself in the mirror. He hadn't even had time to tame his bedhead, but if he declined the call, Gloria was likely to just keep trying until he picked up. That was usually what she did when she got in one of her excitable moods. She'd already seen what he was like first thing in the morning, anyways. "Yeah, go ahead."

While Hop had just crawled out of bed, Gloria looked as though she had been up and at 'em for hours and hours. She once told him that her managers had her wake up at about 4 am every morning for outfitting and makeup. Her stylists took her very seriously as a canvas to experiment with however they wanted. This morning, they appeared to have given her rainbow streaks in her hair and drawn lightning bolts on her face ala Spikemuth. For the life of him, Hop couldn't find any particular connecting factor, but he wasn't the one making the decisions.

"You look very vibrant! Are you going to a party?" Hop asked as he pulled a comb through his tangles. 

Gloria giggled. "They want me to visit a children's hospital today and they thought this would be fun." She flipped her hair over her shoulder, revealing even more color on the underside. "Let's not talk about me. Let's talk about _you._ When did this whole thing start?"

Hop tried to stay casual, though he could feel heat rising to his face. "A couple of weeks ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gloria said, scandalized. 

Hop's blush deepened. "We...weren't sure if it would stick and you had other things to worry about."

"Yeah, but I always have time for _you,_ nutter," she said. "I want all of the juicy details."

Well, at least she wasn't upset, as Hop feared she might be. There was no rational explanation for why he assumed this other than he still had dregs of embarrassment after she rejected him (to be fair, he had been in quite the state while doing it) and he didn't want her feeling like a third wheel.

"I, ah, guess we just met up in Hammerlocke, got a cup of coffee and...talked about things," Hop said. 

"And then you went on a date with him last night. Yes, I see how it all fits," Gloria said, nodding. 

Hop froze and stared at her. "How the bloody hell did you know about that?"

This time, Gloria rolled her eyes, "I follow Raihan who reposted one of the videos people took of Zacian sizing him up. They're _everywhere,_ sweetie."

Incredulously, Hop made his way over to his computer and pulled up one of his social media accounts. Sure enough, Hop had been tagged several times by Sonia, Marnie, Piers and anyone else who recognized him from one of the pictures and videos. It wasn't the biggest viral video of all time, but the fact that it had Gym Leader Raihan kneeling in front of a literal legend seemed to have turned it into quite the spectacle. 

"Oh..." Hop said, covering up his face. "I guess I was hoping no one would post it."

Gloria scoffed. "Ya walloper. Good thing is they all love it."

Then Hop ran across where Raihan himself had shared one of them along with the line: _Only get this chance once in a lifetime ;D_ along with a couple of dragon emojis, a canine emoji, and more winking faces. 

The temptation to just go back to bed was mounting.

"We didn't say we were going out, though, How did you guess that?" Hop asked.

"It's a might easy to read between the lines," Gloria said. "I showed one of the videos to Zamazenta and she agrees with me."

Hop's only reply was a low groan. This wasn't the end of the world. It would all blow over in a couple of days. Such was the nature of the internet.

"How come you're not waking up at his place, anyway?" Gloria said, cutting through Hop's embarrassment with yet _more_ embarrassment. 

Hop's head shot up and he could feel his cheeks blazing. "I-I have work this morning." He didn't.

"Then you'd be late for it. Anyways, it's Saturday," Gloria said, flashing a triumphant smile.

Truthfully, he could have stayed at Raihan's apartment for the night if he wanted. It was nothing new but...it felt like the undercurrent of meaning would be there no matter what they did or didn't do together. It would feel strange to sleep on the couch when they were supposed to be together and...sleeping in Raihan's bed was...Hop didn't know how to describe it.

When he mentioned going home after they spent a couple of hours wandering around the festival, Raihan, of course, hadn't said anything or been at all offended, only kissed him and offered to call a Corvicab. Seeing as the Corvicab's would likely be tied up with the crowd at the festival and so he just flew back to Motostoke on his own Corviknight, feeling warm enough after the kiss that the wind didn't bother him one lick.

"I...I guess I want to take it slow," Hop said. 

Gloria's expression softened. "I'm only pullin' yer leg, you know. You don't have to explain yerself. I'm just happy for you."

"It's not weird or anything?" he said, hesitantly. 

"It takes a lot to get under me skin, Hoppy," Gloria said. "I didn't think anything of it. I just want what makes you happy."

"Thank you, Glo," Hop said, sincerely.

"'Asides, what's the truth is that I've been talking to someone online and...I wasn't sure how to tell you either," she said, playing with a crimson-dyed lock of hair.

If Hop was worried about how he would take the news that Gloria might be seeing someone else, there was no need for it. Hearing it was more a relief than anything else. He smiled widely over the camera. "I'm happy for you, too. I hope they treat you right. I guess we were both scared over nothing."

"Coupla eggheads, aren't we?" Gloria said. "I have to go to catch my cab. But I love ya, Hoppy. I always will."

"I love ya too, Glo," Hop said, grinning.

~

Hop's therapist was a sweet, older woman from Ballonlea who reminded him of Professor Magnolia. She was the one he saw since the beginning when he was freed. Over time, she helped him understand what Raihan had tried to tell him in that damned room in Wyndon all those years ago; it wasn't his fault. Even if he forgot it once the cycle of guilt and anger reared its ugly head again, it would come back to that. It _wasn't his fault._

He hadn't asked for that kind of attention from Leon, nothing he said or did should have ever been taken as permission without his consent, and no, he wasn't _asking for it_ because he had been an overzealous fanboy over Leon's accomplishments. Absolutely nothing that his brother had said was his fault was actually his fault. They were all just brain worms that the bastard came up with to try and justify whatever it was he thought he was doing. 

She asked him, once, if he would ever accuse a friend who had been through what he went through the things he went through of the things he accused himself and it put things into a startling perspective. 

"Treat yourself kindly," she said. "He took enough from you, I should think." Leon didn't deserve any more time and energy from Hop. He didn't deserve Hop despairing over him and wallowing in misery. What Hop could have spent on Leon or their mum should be spent on himself instead. 

Yet, he still wondered where Leon was and what he could possibly be thinking from time to time. He didn't know if his brother was still alive (because Raihan never told him) or if he was dead and buried in an unmarked grave somewhere in Johto. The once spectacular man who was everything Hop loved and aspired to be, thrown away like garbage once he twisted himself into shreds. It was the worst tragedy of Hop's young life and something that had stolen away his childhood hero and best friend. 

_It wasn't Hop's fault._

The day he told the therapist about his burgeoning relationship with Raihan, she smiled and asked him if he felt ready to pursue it. Considering he was the one to bring up the topic with Raihan first, Hop thought he was. Approaching the subject of intimacy was rocky terrain that was common among sexual abuse victims from every walk of life. The therapist asked him if he had ever tried to read the accounts of other survivors. The best advice might come from someone else who knew the pain and the uncertainty of trying to recover one's sexuality. 

Hop had never even _kissed_ anyone before Leon and he sure as hell had never wanked to his older brother either. The idea never occurred to him because he _bloody wasn't attracted to Leon._ He knew the things Leon did to him were supposed to be enjoyable, but they were so wrapped up in horrible memories and sick feelings that untangling them was almost impossible. 

Also, pleasure and orgasms received from sexual abuse were _not consent_ and Hop wished someone would have beaten Leon over the head with that knowledge until he fainted like his Charizard against Gloria. 

It was well within Hop's right to do as little or as much as he wished. When he read some of the resources the therapist gave him that had stories from other survivors, it was like someone pulled back the curtain on a sunny day. What Leon did to him wasn't sex, no matter how much he had wanted to believe it. It was rape. _All of it,_ was rape. Even the things Hop had tried to offer him wasn't him giving consent. When all Hop could do was lay there and not fight when Leon touched him, it was _rape._ Hop never fucking consented to any of it.

Which meant Hop had to accept that his dear brother had _raped_ him. For months. It wasn't sex _or_ love. 

Fuck Leon. _Fuck him._ Hop cried into Dubwool's wool while he laid in a heap on his bed surrounded by the therapist's papers on more than one occasion. 

But then...what was sex like? How did it feel to lay skin-to-skin with another person and have it be good, without fear or dread? Did he want to have sex with Raihan? The idea made him nervous, but it didn't frighten him, either, not as it would have with someone else. If he was going to sleep with anyone, it was _probably_ _going to be_ with Raihan; his patient boyfriend whose touch didn't make him recoil. Who turned out not to be the cruel closet pervert Leon wanted Hop to believe he was because Leon was full of shit.

That and the sight of Raihan dressed down in a blank tank and his gym uniform shorts - allowing an uninhibited view of his long, muscular limbs - flicked warm sparks in Hop's lower belly. Rai wasn't doing anything particularly exciting, just drinking an energy drink on the bench of the gym leader locker room in Hammerlocke Stadium and scrolling through his phone, but somehow the image was _nice._ When Hop recognized the desire that went through him, he looked away, ashamed.

Then he realized there was nothing to be ashamed about. He was allowed to appreciate _his boyfriend_ , wasn't he? He didn't have to answer to anyone (Leon). He was free to be attracted to Raihan. 

And then it hit him that this was what _attraction_ felt like. It was the reason he liked feeling Raihan's hands on his waist and the reason kissing him felt rejuvenating instead of deplorable. With Leon, Hop's mind had trained itself to disconnect from his body until his brother was finished.

Hop was visiting Raihan before an exhibition match with Kabu. His Pincurchin had settled onto Gigalith's back. Hop attended as many of Raihan's battles as he could. They were always exciting and Hop hadn't stopped studying battles even though he didn't fight as much as he used to. Admittedly, half of the time he was watching Raihan, who became a completely different person than his usual chill self. It was like he saved up a beast inside of him outside of the gym and released it on the battlefield. 

Hop remembered being caught off guard by the transformation the first time he battled Raihan during his gym challenge. It was awfully hard to ignore the 2-meter tall _feral dragon-man_ crouched down and screeching at him from across the battlefield. And then Hop won and Raihan switched back, peering at him with lidded eyes and a toothy grin as he handed over the Dragon Badge.

One of the refs stuck their head into the locker room to inform Raihan that he had five minutes before showtime. Raihan chugged the last quarter of his can and tossed it into a nearby wastebasket. He pulled the top of his gym uniform on and his hoodie over that.

"Alright, luv, you'll wait for me to return home from the war, won't ya?" he asked Hop, wiggling his eyebrows.

Hop laughed through his nose and stood up with him. "Depends, are you going to send me white roses every month to promise your return? If you don't, I might get bored and wander off," Hop said.

Raihan scoffed. "Alright, but when I return with a fleet of ships under my command while flying on the back of a shiny Dragonite, you'll wish you'd waited."

Hop's gasped. "Well, I suppose I could spare you the benefit of the doubt." He leaned up against a shelf of lockers. "But really, good luck out there, Rai. I'll be rooting for you."

"Wouldn't that break Kabu's heart?" Raihan snickered and stepped closer. "So do I get a little kiss before I depart on my long journey?"

Hop hummed and leaned towards Raihan. "If it will ensure your victory, I'll give you my blessing." He tilted his head up and pressed his lips to Raihan's. It was supposed to be a short, chaste kiss, but Raihan had a wood-smoke scent to him today and Hop was drawn in by it. He cupped Raihan's cheek and sighed into the kiss as it deepened. Raihan wasn't exactly pushing him away. His hands came out of his hoodie pockets to settle on either side of Hop's waist. Hop gave a little intake of breath and then he found himself backed up against the lockers, pulling Raihan gently with him.

The kiss turned probing as Hop's arms came up around Raihan's shoulders. He gave a breathy moan when Raihan's hands slid up his sides. The fabric of his shirt was drawn up against his sensitive skin. When Raihan finally drew back, he hummed. "Mm...Any more and I might desert the ranks and stay here."

Hop felt the loss of Rai's mouth, but he nodded. Heat had begun to coil in his gut. It made him shiver, pleasantly so. "Right. Right." His head was swimming too much to add anything to their metaphor. His arms slid down to his sides. "Show them what for."

Pincurchin had jumped from Gigalith's back and scooted over to Hop's side. Gigalith was near the door, waiting patiently for Raihan so they could go to the pitch. Hop breathed deeply to clear his head once they left. No panic attacks; no feeling of anxiety bothered him. The coil in his lower belly nagged at him and then slowly faded. This was progress. He picked up Pincurchin and carried him up to their place in the stands where they had a full view of their noble dragon knight going into a frenzy.

~

Raihan won, to Kabu's dismay. Luckily, Kabu had always been a dignified good sport. They clutched hands on the center field to thunderous applause. Next thing Hop knew, he'd been stolen and taken out to a curry place in Hammerlocke that had a full bar with both of the gym leaders once they made a quick escape from the paparazzi. After a few drinks, Kabu's tongue loosened up and he was telling Hop and Raihan the story of how he got the Vulpix that evolved into his current Ninetails. Turns out she was a gift from a suitor back in Hoenn who wanted Kabu to return and marry her. While Kabu was tipping back his drink to down what was left, Raihan and Hop shared a secretive glance at how like the story sounded like their joke narrative back in the locker room. 

At some point, Raihan had to take a call and stepped away from the bar, leaving Hop and Kabu to their own tipsy devices. Hop took to playing with the ice cubes in his glass with a nearby fork. They were the kind of tube ice cubes with a hollow center that he was trying to slip the prongs of the fork into so he could pick it up.

"You two are close," Kabu said, prompting Hop to peer over at him. His face was probably gushing red, but he didn't care.

"Ah, y-yeah," Hop said. His first instinct was to just make up some excuse, but then he remembered he didn't have to. "We...just started going out."

Kabu nodded in thought. "You seem happy." For a moment, Hop wasn't sure if he should say something in response, but then Kabu continued. "Since you moved to Motostoke, every time I see you, you look as though you have something on your mind. Whatever it is weighs down on you. You don't have to tell me what, I only say this because this is the first time I've seen you laugh without dropping the smile afterward."

"It's incredible you notice things like that," Hop said. Just like Leon used to.

"It comes with age and not much to do between gym challenge seasons," Kabu replied. "In any case, I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Wait, h-how do you know there's actually anything going on?" Hop stammered, though his eyes probably gave it all away.

"Well, you just confirmed it, didn't you?" Kabu said, simply. "Usually someone says everything's fine even when it isn't. You didn't say I was wrong. Still aren't, in fact."

"That's not f-fair," Hop stammered. Maybe he had more to drink than he thought. "I can't defend myself when I'm getting drunk."

"Why do you think people give alcohol to each other when they want the truth?" Kabu said. He patted Hop on the shoulder politely. "Don't think too hard on it. I only spoke because the pair of you look good together."

Hop's chest tightened. "Thank you."

Raihan returned shortly thereafter with his hands shoved into his hoodie pockets. "Sorry 'bout that. You didn't have too big a party without me, did ya?"

"Just talking about Motostoke and how much better it is than Hammerlocke," Hop said.

Raihan elbowed him in the ribs. "Them's fighting words, luv. I have a mind to battle you here and now."

Pinchurchin squealed beside Hop. She didn't want to fight her new friend Gigalith. Hop patted her. "Fine, for your sake, I'll take back what I said. Motostoke is not better than Hammerlocke."

Raihan laughed. "It's that easy to change your mind? I'll remember that."

While they were talking, Kabu was paying his tab. He nodded to both of them. "I hate to spoil our time together, but there's a storm due over Bridge Field and I suspect the trains will be delayed into the night if I wait much longer to return to Motostoke."

Raihan patted him on the back. His usual strength was known to make people stagger, but Kabu didn't budge. "No harm done. I'll say it again, good show today, mate. We'll have to do it again soon."

After Kabu bid them a good night, Hop was about to pay his own tab, but Raihan was faster in sliding his card over to the barkeep with a sly smile. "Party's on me." Before Hop could object, he added, "Anyway, you should figure out what you want to do now too. Old codger is right. If you wanna take the train, it'd be better to head out now. I'll walk you to the station. I wouldn't suggest flying. The wind will pick up real soon."

Hop worried his lip for a moment. He didn't quite want to go back home just yet, to his surprise. He was off from the lab the next day and he had plenty of time. "Is...crashing at your place still an option? I think after the drinks, I'd fall asleep on the train.

I'll probably be halfway out of Galar by the time the attendants wake me up."

Raihan's smile widened into a grin. "Of course! My door's always open for you, luv."

And probably his bed too, though Hop was grateful he didn't say that out loud. It was the drink talking, he was sure. He still couldn't hide the way his face gushed red and hoped Raihan would just think he was flushed from the alcohol. On their way to his apartment, Hop had to keep a grip on Raihan's arm to keep himself steady. Rai could take a lot more of the devil's brew than Hop. He wasn't complaining about being held onto and in fact, slipped his arm around Hop's waist to guide him.

The inside of Raihan's apartment had the smell of wood-fire too. It made Hop's mouth water. "Have you been barbecuing or something? It smells good in here."

Raihan chuckled and lowered Hop down onto the couch. "Went out to the Wilds for a few nights to train for the match today."

Before Raihan was finished speaking, Hop's memory triggered and he nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I remember you telling me now. Well, you smell delicious," Hop said, before thinking. Then he coughed, "Y-You know what I mean."

This time Rai barked a laugh. "Oh yeah? Am I so delicious you could eat me up? Has the predator become the prey?"

Hop poked him in his side before he could get away and Raihan snorted. Funny, while he was on the phone with Gloria a few days ago, he'd been thinking about how he was trying to avoid sleeping at Raihan's place and now here he was - at his own suggestion, no less. Pincurchin got to sniffing everything she could find of interest around the kitchen. Probably looking for scraps.

Raihan sank down next to him on the couch. "So, tell me what you want the sleeping arrangements to be."

It was like Rai had read his mind. Hop fidgeted with his sleeves. "Well, ah...I suppose we could do as we always have." He and Gloria usually wound up crashing on one of the two couches or the sofa chair when they were here since Raihan didn't have a guest room. Neither of them was picky; they were both used to spending days upon weeks on end in the Wild Area camping and training their Pokemon, after all. Sleeping bags and the occasional air mattresses weren't terrible, but they were hardly luxurious accommodations. "But, I was thinking I'd like t-to sleep with you." His face gushed with heat. "L-Like, sleep beside you. In the same bed."

The smile Raihan gave him was gentle. Hop was grateful for it since his nerves were wracked. "Sure, if you want. The nights are getting awful cold now, yeah? It'd be nice to have you there. I won't try anything, promise. I know people say my hands like to wander, but I'll tell them to be good."

Hop just chuckled. "I'm not worried. I want to...get used to being close to you. You make me feel safe." He felt a hand on his upper back that slid down to his waist to coil around him. He leaned into Raihan's side.

"You need anything in particular before bed? I know we didn't plan on you staying here so you probably didn't bring a bag," Raihan said, close to his ear.

"Mm, not really. Just a spare toothbrush," Hop said. "Although I suppose using yours wouldn't be that far off from a kiss, would it?"

"I'm pretty sure that's how you get canker sores, luv," Raihan said, teasing. "I might have a spare somewhere on my shelf."

He made to get up, but Hop put a hand on his shoulder and guided him back down. "Wait, before we move...Will you kiss me?" The beginnings of the storm had made itself known outside. The wind had picked up and fat drops of rain fell against the sliding glass door of the balcony. It was familiar in a way he didn't want and he was eager to replace it with a good memory.

Raihan settled back down beside him, turning so that he faced him more fully. "Can't say no to that, can I?"

"W-Well, technically you could," Hop stammered. No one knew not to force anyone to do something more than him. He paused when Raihan's hand settled on his cheek and turned his face towards him.

"Don't want to, though," Raihan said. They drew in together and the rain turned into a steady beating. The only light was the sidelight over the kitchen counter and the street lamps from the outside, creating a darkened circle around them like a veil that cut them off from the world. Hop felt Raihan's breath warm against his cheek and the lingering taste of the whiskey Raihan had at the bar when he opened his mouth. 

Feeling a bit braver than usual, his tongue slipped out and ran across Raihan's front teeth, eliciting a growl that may have been too deep for a human throat if it was anyone else. He managed to feel his way to Rai's fangs, testing their pointed ends, before Raihan turned the tables and playfully invaded Hop's own mouth, not to be outdone by an old rivalry.

There were little wet sounds between them that made Hop shiver. With their proximity, Raihan was sure to feel it. He pulled away just a tad and nuzzled Hop's cheek. "You okay?"

Hop was breathing deeply by then, but he nodded. "Yeah, yeah." He felt Raihan's lips press against his cheek and linger there. "K-Keep going...?" Both an invitation and a plea that Raihan took up. 

With his hand still holding the side of Hop's jaw, Raihan slowly and deliberately began to kiss downwards towards his throat. Hop's eyes nearly fluttered shut, but they were still open enough to gaze out of the window at the raindrops sliding down the glass. He tilted his head automatically to expose more of his throat. That part of him had always been so sensitive when Leon touched and kissed it. The difference was that when Leon did it, it felt like bug Pokemon were crawling over Hop's skin away from the point where lips touched his skin. Never mind when Leon wanted to suckle long enough to leave hickeys. More blasted signs of ownership.

But when Hop felt Rai's fang lightly scrape over his pulse, he reached up to slide his fingers underneath Raihan's headband so they could feel between his dreads. There he was comparing Raihan to Leon again, but the niceness of this contact was so new that Hop couldn't help but be preoccupied with it. He thought it would take forever to get to this point, where he wanted to hold Raihan there and feel him tasting his skin, but here they were.

A heated coil tightened in Hop's belly as a ripple of desire went through him. He shut his eyes and let out a breathy moan. Raihan's free hand settled on his thigh and he tensed but didn't seize up, just suddenly aware of a new touch in an intimate place. It didn't quell the desire, but it made Hop come back to himself a little.

The gentle mouthing on his throat stopped and he heard Raihan say, "Might...Might be a good idea to stop if you just want to sleep in bed with me."

Hop took a deep breath to calm the heat. "Y-Yeah. Good idea." His body didn't want to stop the pleasant sensations, but it was better for him to get a hold of himself _before_ he hit his absolute limit.

Still, he felt bereft when Raihan pulled back. The look in those icy eyes said he didn't really want to stop either. "Come on, let's go," he said. His thumb ran over Hop's chin.

"Right," Hop murmured. "Lead the way."

He followed Raihan back to his bedroom. He'd been in there only a few times, having no real reason to go poking around Rai's stuff, but he had seen enough to know not to trip over the Trapinch sleeping on the cushion under the side of the bed. It hadn't even woke up when they came into the apartment. Raihan held a finger to his lips and whispered, "She's hungry when she wakes up, but she's a heavy sleeper."

Hop smiled and mouthed the words, "She's cute." Raihan led him into the master bathroom just to the side of the room and rummaged around in the drawers to pull out the essentials for him. Pincurchin examined the Trapinch, but didn't touch her when Hop gestured for her to stop. He went out to pick her up and put her on the foot of the foot. Pincurchin was spiny, true, but she had slept in bed with Hop before and was pretty good about not accidentally zapping his feet with her spines while they slept.

Raihan came out and gestured to the bathroom with his thumb. "All yours. Take your time."

Hop nodded and sidled past him into the bathroom (he didn't bother moving away when his arm brushed against Raihan's with a smile). He caught a toothy smirk from Rai as he did. His chest tightened. He took a quick shower and came out in his boxers after freshening himself up in the mirror. Pincurchin had fallen asleep due to Raihan laying in the bed and rocking her with one of her spines between his toes while he was playing on his phone. He was in his own boxers and a loose tank. Hop's face warmed when he saw him.

Raihan glanced up at him and patted the space beside him where he had already pulled back the sheets and blanket. With his heart thumping, Hop crawled onto the bed and slid into the sheets, scooting up close to Raihan. After a beat of hesitation, he rested his head on Raihan's shoulder.

With a hum, Raihan murmured, "Here," and moved his arm underneath Hop so he could wrap his arm around his back. It felt as though Hop was surrounded by the heat of Raihan's body. Rai had Rotom float between and above them. "Look, Gloria's in a tournament."

The video that was pulled up was of a Pokemon battle with Gloria's Inteleon and Bede's Hatterene. Bede looked red in the face, which was the surefire way to tell that he was losing.

"She'll win. I can already tell you that," Hop said.

"I keep watching her matches to see if I can see her trending Pokemon. Next time I battle her, she'll have it coming," Raihan said, grinning.

"Mm, I won't know who to root for." Hop nuzzled his shoulder. His words were rewarded with a pinch to his side and he laughed through his nose. "I'll root for everybody. Go team!"

"Pfft, that's a cop-out if ever I heard one. Eh, good enough," Raihan said. He had Rotom put itself to sleep and pulled the covers over both of them. Hop felt a pair of lips brush over his hair. "G'night, luv. I'll make us up some pancakes for breakfast in the morning."

Hop smiled and settled in, shutting his eyes. "That sounds delicious. Night, Rai," he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot Twist: Marnie is the one Gloria is talking to online.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hop brings home a bundle of joy from the lab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Past Animal Abuse is mentioned in the first part. Also, there's some masturbation. I swear the two don't have anything to do with each other.
> 
> Thanks to [The_clockwork_cat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_clockwork_cat/pseuds/The_clockwork_cat) for beta'ing!

One time when Hop was thirteen, somebody posted a video on social media of a Yamper that had grown up in a fighting ring that wasn't regulated by the League. Such underground rings were being weeded out slowly nowadays, but were horribly rampant at the time. The video showed when the authorities raided the site and recovered the Pokemon. Some cowered and others tried to fight back. 

The Yamper in question had allegedly been born in those conditions, chained in a filthy cage with little more than hay to sleep on. He was emaciated and had patches of bare, scaly skin that indicated a severe case of mange. Hop was so used to the sight of Yampers being social and happy to meet someone new that he wasn't at all prepared for the _screams_ it made when the authorities opened his cage and approached him - sounds Hop didn't know a Yamper could even make. He huddled in a corner and bellowed at them, trying to scare them off, knowing that if he tried to fight, it would likely cause retaliation.

After all, that was what it had been raised to expect. It grew up fighting to survive, probably only being fed if it won a match. Hunger made the Pokemon fierce and desperate, more entertaining to a crowd betting on their lives. The more blood the better. But if they lost multiple times in a row, they would grow weak. The Yamper in the video was barely able to lift itself, much less attack the intruders, but it was so frightened that it was trying defend what it saw as its last few moments of life.

When a rescuer crouched down and began petting the poor thing, it didn't stop screaming. It took a good two minutes for him to realize he wasn't about to be struck or swung into a wall. He didn't stop shaking as he curled in on himself under the gentle hands, but he went quiet. It was probably the first time anyone had petted him. 

The video had a compilation of several clips, from the first time the Yamper was fed to him receiving a medicated bath for its skin disease. He ate as though every meal was to be his last, gobbling the food whole before anyone could snatch the bowl away. Over time, he fattened up until his ribs didn't jut out anymore. His fur thickened and the color brightened. Any infection was treated until after a few months, he was a new dog, completely unrecognizable from his horrible beginnings. 

And he _loved_ to be loved. He played with his rescuers and romped around on the grass outdoors like he was in paradise. He leaned into the soft hands that rubbed his face and neck.

Hop had never cried so hard in his life.

A year later, Leon started touching him.

~

Dusk was well settling in while Hop leaned over the incubator in the lab and recorded the temperatures off of the thermometer. This was a personal endeavor, not a project he was doing for the lab (though while he was there, some research wouldn't hurt). 

He had carefully bred for this egg along with the help of the nursery on Route 5. Using the incubator at work was just so he could keep an eye on it. He gave it an affectionate pat on the shell before he returned to his desk right down the hall. Cinderace had stolen the paperweight off of his mail pile and was dribbling it into the air with his feet while laying on his back on the ground. 

He finished off the rest of his now lukewarm coffee and started signing off for the night. There were still emails from Sonia to respond to, but his brain felt like pulled taffy. They could wait until the morning. 

The conversation he'd been having with Raihan for the past half hour sat on his phone. The first month of the offseason had passed for the gym leaders and Raihan was bored out of his skull. The gym training plans were already laid out and sponsorship deals signed off. His Trapinch was past its 'eat-everything' phase and was showing an interest in heights by peering over the great walls of Hammerlocke, a sign that she may soon evolve into a Vibrava, which meant Raihan would soon have to get his apartment Poke-proofed while she learned how to fly if he wanted to keep his things from breaking.

They had plans for Rai to come to Motostoke for a few days to stay with Hop since he had been the one visiting Hammerlocke most of the time. Hop was sometimes surprised just how acutely he missed Raihan when they weren't together. He wouldn't go so far as to call it a _need_ to see the gym leader, just that he took notice of the lack of him, the absence of his smile and his jokes. It sent tingles of anticipation through his limbs at the thought of meeting him at the train station the next evening.

(What? He was _excited_ to see his boyfriend? His face warmed at the thought of kissing him again and sitting with him on the couch in Hop's apartment? The thought of meeting Leon at the station in Wedgehurst so long ago had made him ill with a terrible fever.)

While he was packing his bag to get ready to return home, he saw Cinderace's head suddenly poke up over the top of his next. His ears were standing straight up and they were swiveling towards the lab.

"What is it?" Hop asked him, frowning.

Cinderace flipped to his feet (the show-off) and bounded through the door and down the short hall to the lab. With his heart thumping in his chest out of bewilderment, Hop followed him. Had a piece of equipment broken? Was there an intruder inside the lab? He could speculate all he wanted, but his fears wouldn't be quieted until he saw what was going on for himself.

He rounded the corner of the lab to find Cinderace pressing his face against the side of the incubator. He glanced back at Hop and pointed a paw at the egg inside. Hop's pulse had the chance to slow down as he made his way over and peered inside of the glass container.

There were cracks in the egg that hadn't been there fifteen minutes ago when he was inspecting it. His heart leaped into his throat and his hand absentmindedly fell on Cinderace's arm as he rocked back on forth on his long hind paws.

"I thought it was going to be another few days," Hop said, fumbling to pull out his phone to text Sonia. She had been distinctly interested in Hop's little project, considering what it was for. Part of him had hoped that the egg would hatch before the weekend but told himself not to get his hopes up.

The egg trembled in its padding, the cracks widening. Now, Cinderace was bouncing on the heels of his feet. He reached for the lid of the incubator as if to reach in and help but Hop patted his paw.

"Let it work itself out. It will be stronger for it," he said kindly. Cinderace pouted and crossed his arms in front of him.

By the time Sonia texted him back requesting a picture of the egg's progress, a crack had formed all the way around the top, like a crown. Hop clutched his phone close to his chest, leaning forward as he waited with bated breath, the task of taking a photo all but forgotten. It wasn't so much the species of Pokemon it was, but what its markings would be that he was eager to see. If his calculations were correct...

When the cap of the egg slowly rose and a pair of huge eyes peered out at him and Cinderace, he clapped a hand over his mouth to suppress a gasp, Cinderace freezing beside him.

~

Hop cradled the little tyke in a blanket in his arms all the way home, Cinderace doing flips and somersaults ahead of him. At least the sidewalk wasn't packed or else there would be some angry people. When they got into his apartment, he settled the bundle into a plush cushion in the corner he'd prepared for it. Luckily, he'd bought some Pokebaby formula ahead of time when he thought about it at the store. The hatching was earlier than expected, but he had everything he needed to care for it.

Until he was to give it away, that is, but he could figure out when the best time would be as they went along.

Cinderace helped Hop heat the formula and he fed the baby with a careful hand before tucking it into the blanket to sleep. It would likely be doing that for the first few days. Hop sank down onto the couch with a long exhale, adrenaline fluttering through him with both giddiness and nerves. Here he was with a new baby when Raihan was coming to visit. The implication wasn't lost on him, but it sent a pleasant thrum through his chest.

With Cinderace cooing over the nest of cushions and blankets, Hop turned the telly on for some background noise. He often left it on the weather, just so that he had something low and calming to fill the silence. It helped him for the past few days as he read through more stories from sexual assault survivors. It made for very _cheerful_ late-night reading, as one would expect.

Actually, the last couple he reviewed had hit disturbingly close to home, considering the incidences had occurred in Galar to people who were teenagers at the time of their assault. One of them was a middle-aged lady now and had a lot of time to reflect on her recovery.

Hop's eyes had fallen on the papers with that account which he'd printed and left on the coffee table after he'd had to get himself a drink when he was finished with it. He picked it up and stared at the words. The perpetrator had been an uncle rather than an immediate brother, but the things that occurred were no less harrowing and the effects on Hop no less visceral. The stories didn't have to have explicit descriptions for him to feel the phantom touches of Leon's hands crawling on his skin.

The survivor had spent years dealing with her coping mechanisms, some healthier than others. Her abuser was never turned in, but she distanced herself as far from him as possible and one day decided that she wasn't going to let his memory haunt her for the rest of her life. She was one of the people who decided she wanted to date and marry. Physical intimacy was something she wanted, so she had made a concerted effort to bring sex back into her relationships.

Some survivors had trouble doing that but that was okay, no two journeys were the same. Hop had turned the idea of intimacy over and over and over in his head. For the longest time, he was convinced that he would never be able to feel attraction for anyone ever again, romantic, sexual, or otherwise. All up until this thing between him and Raihan began.

He would think about Raihan's lips on his neck and the desire that simple touch sparked, like kindling.

The pleasure and orgasms Leon had given him were a mess of guilt and disgust on his part. Whatever his older brother got from raping him was twisted into some delusional version of love.

More than once he wondered... what if Raihan touched him that way now? Would he still feel disgusted and guilty, or could he relax into the touch? Did he want to see where Raihan's hand on his thigh could take them? If that didn't work, there was always the alternate. Hop could try touching Raihan instead.

Reclaiming what remained of his sexuality was something he wanted to do, he realized. It wasn't just a nebulous concept that _could_ happen down the line, whether he was looking for it or not. It was something he could actively pursue if he wanted to. There was nothing stopping him from...making love with Raihan.

Did that mean he should ride Raihan's dick the moment they returned to the apartment? Probably not. He didn't have to dive right in - it was like Rai said, they could slowly work up to it.

But before they did, he wanted to see if he could experience pleasure again without thoughts of Leon invading his mind. For years he'd been too nervous to even touch himself and make it feel good. He woke up hard from time to time, sure, but he would either take a cold shower or give himself the quickest handjob in the world, his eyes shut tight until it was over and he could get on with his life.

The lady whose story Hop was currently holding in his hands told of how pleasuring herself had helped her to understand her boundaries. It was about experiencing a touch that one could control without the fear or uncertainty of having someone else there. That was what gave him the idea for this... experiment.

Hop stared at the paper and then up at the TV screen. Raihan wouldn't arrive until tomorrow and he had nothing else to do for the rest of tonight. He slid the story back onto the coffee table and took a breath. Too bad he didn't feel at all horny. He was never really one to watch porn, even in his teen years when the forbidden quality of it was the most tempting. Should he pull up pictures of Rai on his phone and see if that did it for him? Just grab himself and go at it? This was probably the most thought anyone had given to masturbating ever.

He slipped his lab coat off of his shoulders and tossed it over the back of the couch. After a moment of just sitting there with the weatherman droning on about cold fronts, he trailed his fingers over his thigh. His slacks were still on, but he could feel the tickle underneath on his skin. He stopped at the indent of the fastenings to his pants and the zipper and swallowed.

Cinderace suddenly made a chattering behind him and he drew in a thick breath. He looked back and saw the Pokemon trying to get a look at the baby.

"Shh, don't wake her," Hop shushed him.

With an apologetic glance, Cinderace settled for sitting on the ground and just watching the occasional twitching underneath the blankets. It was okay to leave them alone for a moment, right? The baby had everything it needed. Cinderace could come and get him if something happened.

He cleared his throat and stood. "I'm...I'm gonna take a shower. I'll be in there if you need me." Cinderace nodded but didn't look at him, so fascinated as he was by the baby. With that, Hop stepped into the bathroom and turned on the water. He was oddly self-conscious taking off his clothes and couldn't quite bring himself to look at his reflection in the mirror.

He didn't have to do this, but he wanted to. No one was forcing him into it. He repeated those thoughts in his head like mantras. He could stop at any time. No one was here to see or judge him. He stood underneath the stream of hot water, letting the drops fall on his scalp like a small massage. Eventually, he sank to the floor, clutching at his arms.

He breathed in the steam and it relaxed him a little. He was trying not to think about back then, trying not to drudge up the painful memories. Looking forward instead of backward was easier said than done. Leon had tried so hard to drill into his head that touching him wasn't supposed to be scary but good. And then he held Hop down and had his way with Hop whether he wanted it or not.

Oh look, he was drudging up painful memories. He pressed his palms into his eyes and gave a little groan of frustration. His therapist told him not to shove down his emotions. The more you pressed them down, the more they resisted and shoved back. The only other solution was just to acknowledge them and pass them on. Better now than when Raihan was here.

He set his hand on his thigh where Raihan had touched him. Rai's fingers were long and warm. He had a strong grip, but he was always gentle when he touched Hop. And they stayed that way; they didn't start off gently and turn harsh. What if they touched him as Leon had? They would trace his arms, feel along his chest and belly. Then his lips would kiss where his fingers had been, all along Hop's body.

Warmth replaced the awkward tension and his prick twitched. That's it, just keep thinking of the good things, he told himself. One of his hands trailed from his collar bone down the flat plains of his chest, imagining it was Raihan's instead of his own. Hop had seen his pupils dilate when he was excited before, he wondered if they would widen in a state of arousal too. Would the beast he kept so carefully locked away come out in full, hungry force, or did it like to...play with its food a little?

Hop wasn't sure how he _would_ react if Raihan really went at him in a rush but while he was here, alone and experimenting with this pleasure, he figured dabbling in the thoughts wouldn't hurt. He remembered how that fang felt, lightly grazing over his throat. Was it sharp enough to leave a light scratch over the skin like a set of nails on someone's back? Would they leave a mark, or more importantly, a mark Hop might actually want?

He sat up and felt hot water running in rivulets down his back. It tickled down his spine. His hand slipped lower to the junction of his hips and thigh. His body was starting to wake up. Even if he wasn't thinking about having a lover there, touching him, he could learn to relish in the sensations easily enough. No one could hurt him here. He swallowed, his eyes falling shut, as he took himself in hand. It wasn't earth-shattering, but the fact he wasn't feeling revulsion right then was a good sign.

He gave himself a couple of testing strokes that sparked something and made his blood run south. He wondered how it would feel for Raihan to hold him like this while mouthing at his hips. His desire rose, making his prick harden in his fingers as he let out a long sigh. Good, good. He ran the pads of his fingers up the shaft and over the head, feeling a sudden surge of sensation that made him bite his lip. Leon used to tease him there when he sucked him off.

He shuddered and it was like someone had dumped ice water over the desire. _Don't think about him._

But his body remembered how that felt. Even as the edge in his mind dulled, his prick hardened further in his hand.

"Come on," Hop murmured to himself. "It's not that hard...er, difficult." He inwardly snickered and it was enough to ease him back into things. He moved so that he could lean back against the side of the shower wall, which was cold enough for a gasp to catch in his throat. Then the stream of water hit the sensitive head of his cock and it made him twitch. He hadn't expected that, but it wasn't unpleasant.

He squeezed and began to stroke himself in earnest. He didn't really moan other than soft sighs; he'd trained himself long ago to muffle his sounds. The hot water eased the way like its own lubricant.

His free hand rested idly on his chest. He only became aware of it when it drifted down enough for the tips of his fingers to brush over a nipple. He sucked air in between his teeth and gently pressed in on it. How would it feel for Raihan to take it gently between his teeth? He would tease the skin with his tongue to soothe it afterward. 

A sound that registered somewhere between a grunt and a groan crawled out of his throat. There was a fire growing in his lower belly and he stroked himself faster to stoke it. He panted and shut his eyes when he tilted his head back and water splashed over his face. 

Now that he was here, he could see the crest of an orgasm in sight. There was one last thing he wanted to try. If it proved to be too much, he would just hurry and finish himself off.

He released his cock (which strained to have the contact come back) and reached beneath himself. There was a moment of hesitation before he circled the puckered entrance to his body. He let go of the tension in his legs and then slowly pushed inside his own passage.

It wasn't like when Leon would force his fingers in. There was a strangeness to have something there, but it didn't hurt. It wasn't _bad._ He reached deeper and gingerly felt around. The point of being embarrassed about this act was long gone as all he could focus on was the pleasure surging through him when his free hand took his cock and resumed stroking it. It was easy to sync his movements up in the same rhythm. 

He gasped when he finally found his prostate and his hips jerked automatically. There were no thoughts anymore, only feelings. The sounds he was making, more moans and gasps, came faster and louder. His climax was fast approaching. All he did was adjust his hips and legs into a more comfortable position before he brought himself up to the edge and over it with a strangled groan and a shudder that wracked his slender frame. 

In the middle of it all, he heard himself whisper Raihan's name.

The burst of ecstasy was incredible and it faded all too soon, leaving him panting and feeling boneless on the floor of the shower. He stared at a random point on the frosted glass of the door as his senses slowly returned. He was still except for the rise and fall of his chest once he pulled his hands away and rested them at his sides.

A chunk of the wall his mind built to protect itself had been broken through. It wasn't all brought down, but it was more progress. He could feel _pleasure_ without the revulsion, he could imagine being with another person without panicking. He could touch and kiss and revel in desire without the fear he'd anticipated. It gave him a better understanding of where his boundaries were set and that was more invaluable than anything else.

Although, he hoped what they said about cum going down the drain and clogging up the pipes was a myth best left to frat houses. When he had that idea, he laughed quietly with the back of his wrist pressed to his mouth and nose. The elation it brought with it made him flush all the more. 

After several long minutes, he stirred when he caught himself about to doze off while sitting there. The floor was making his legs and ass stiff anyway. He stood up carefully to avoid the blood rushing from his head and washed himself off just to say that he hadn't just taken a shower for the sole purpose of wanking.

When he got out, there was still a pleasant buzz in his body. Guilt nibbled at the edges, but he couldn't figure out what for. Guilt for the sake of being guilty after so long of it being a persistent presence. Once he realized there was no reason for it, it was easier to dismiss as the lingering dregs of paranoia. He toweled himself off and then wrapped it around his waist before stepping into the hallway. A puff of steam followed him out.

He glanced down the hall and froze when he spotted half of Cinderace's face, with his ears folded back and eye narrowed, watching him from the living room before sliding away out of sight. Hop flushed and scurried to his bedroom to get a change of clothes. Of course, Cinderace probably heard _everything_ , didn't he? Probably suspicious that Hop might experience another relapse or just shy about listening to his trainer moaning up a storm.

That night, he had the best sleep he'd had in weeks. It helped that Cinderace had such a keen interest in the baby in the other room, tending to it when it fussed. This meant that the poor bun was exhausted in the morning. Hop found him crashed on the couch and snoozing away. He brought him back to his Pokeball and Dubwool took the next shift. Hop patted him on the head. "You ready to meet up with Raihan tonight?" His smile reassured Dubwool, who bleated happily.

Hop spent the day alternatively cleaning up the apartment, even going so far as to tie back the curtains over the windows to let in some natural light, and tending to the baby, who was currently nestled in a nest of the wool on Dubwool's back. Much of it was just to get the nervous jitters out of Hop's system at the knowledge that Raihan would be around for the next few days and at the idea of showing his boyfriend what he had.

They made their way to the train station as the shadows were starting to lengthen across the sidewalk and the restaurants were opening their doors a smidge to let the scent of food tempt people into coming in. Hop had offered to carry the bundle, but Dubwool was loathed to give it up. So long as the baby didn't disappear into the eternally deep cloud that was Dubwool's fluff, everything was fine.

A few people milled around the station, waiting for the next train. He and Raihan had been swapping texts back and forth during his journey, including Rai sending him pics of a giant Bewear in the Wild Area in full view of the train. Sure, Bewears looked innocent in the face, but they probably ate things the size of Raihan for breakfast.

At long last, the whistle of the train could be heard in the distance. Hop smiled and stood up, as did Dubwool from where he'd been resting with his legs underneath him like a big loaf so that he didn't accidentally roll over onto the blanket on his back. The train slowed and stopped in front of the platform with a hiss. People began to disembark and Hop played with the sleeves of his jacket until he caught sight of Raihan's orange headband over the heads of the crowd and his heart leaped. He had a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder and, despite people complaining constantly about the cold that time of year, he _still wore shorts_.

He broke out into a wide grin when he spotted Hop hurrying over to him and held out his arms to pull him into a hug, an offer that Hop gladly accepted. He buried his face into Raihan's shoulder, taking in his smoky scent. No matter how many selfies Raihan posted on Pinsergram, the pictures never came close to the comeliness of the real thing. When they finally separated, it was only to give one another a quick peck on the mouth.

Raihan peered down at him with a tenderness in his lidded eyes that made Hop's heart swell a little. "Ah, I missed you, luv. You look bloody fantastic."

Hop snickered and blushed. "Look who's talking! I missed you too. Are you hungry? We can pick something up before we get to my place."

Raihan shrugged a little. "I had a bite on the train earlier, but you know how train fare is."

Hop nodded and was about to agree when Dubwool gave an impatient bleat. "Right, ah, we can pick up some curry on the way back. B-But before we go, there's someone I'd like you to meet."

He pulled away from Raihan (albeit reluctantly) as Dubwool stepped over towards them. He butted against Raihan's leg and received a scratch behind his ears in response.

"Oh yeah? And who is this mystery person?" Raihan said with a chuckle.

"See for yourself," Hop said. He bit his lip as he unwrapped the bundle on Dubwool's back. "I want to send her with you soon. Once Trapinch grows up a bit, that is."

The expression on Raihan's face when he saw the huge, curious eyes of the green, shiny Applin blinking up at him made the long hours Hop spent in the lab worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter: @for_gotta
> 
> Also on Discord


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a good night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting on this chapter for a while since I've been feeling like crap over the last few days, but last night I had a dream in which Hop and Raihan were planning their wedding and took it as a sign that it was time to finish the chapter and post it. SO ENJOY.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Some intrusive thoughts, but there's consensual sexy times in the second half.

Back in Hop's flat, Raihan made himself comfortable on the couch with their green bundle of joy resting securely on his lap. He hadn't let the little Applin out of his sight since Hop revealed it to him at the train station. The sight of someone with such a large presence like Raihan cooing at and cradling the infant Pokemon in his arms was so adorable that Hop couldn't find it in himself to be jealous.

"I was even plannin' on getting you an Applin," he said. "How the hell did you beat me to it? I was looking for one while camped out at the Giant's Mirror."

Hop laughed softly and leaned down to kiss the side of his face. "I guess I just got lucky to have the right equipment to make one myself."

Before he could pull back too far, Raihan turned his face up and peered at Hop with a half-lidded gaze, silently inviting him down for a kiss which Hop supplied. It was so...domestic and soft that Hop felt like his heart was melting in his chest and pink dusted his cheeks. It was all a scene he thought he'd never experience himself.

"Does that make you the mother, then?" Raihan said, wiggling his eyebrows with a small, mischievous smile.

Hop laughed through his nose and said, "I don't know, you're doing a pretty good job mothering her right now."

"Ah? You think so?" Raihan said. "Guess we'll just have to both be mothers then, won't we?"

Hop hummed. "Well, it _is_ a progressive age, isn't it? I'll have to find a skirt to wear underneath my lab coat."

"You do and I'll die from a nosebleed, luv," Raihan said. The Applin had started making soft noises so Raihan looked away and missed the way Hop's face gushed at those words. It wasn't embarrassing so much as it caused a fluttering in his chest. And it wasn't so much at the thought of wearing feminine clothes so much as the knowledge that Raihan would like looking at him that way. Knowing Raihan was attracted to him and apparently had been for quite some time - years, in fact - affected him a bit differently now. Whether it was desire or...lust, Hop wasn't afraid of it.

That was a blessing considering what Hop wanted to try later on that night. There was a warm throb of desire low in his belly at the thought and he shifted his weight from one foot to another.

"U-Um, I'll go order something for us. Is there anything in particular you want?" he said.

Raihan hummed in thought. "You mentioned curry, right? I'll take something spicy. Tanga or Pomeg if they have any."

"Something to make the dragon breathe fire. Got it!" Hop cheerfully said over his shoulder as he stepped over to the kitchen. He heard a laugh from the other room and smiled.

He put some Pokeformula for Applin on the stove and pulled up the website for the curry place. He wasn't so much into spice as he was into a dry curry. Not that he was picky. Mum had always called him a curry fiend.

Fuck. He paused his finger on his phone. Thinking about her wasn't _as_ painful as thinking about Leon but not by much. He was surprised he was bothering to remember her now and not when he and Raihan were joking about _being_ mothers.

Well, if they were, they would be damn better ones than she had been. Now bitter, he rubbed his forehead, willing the headache that wanted to develop behind his temples to disappear. They wouldn't abandon their sweet little Applin, for one thing.

He distracted himself by finishing up their order. He didn't mind paying for the both of them - he was hosting Rai after all. Raihan had spoiled Hop enough for him to finally be returning the favor. Although, he supposed there was something considerably different from paying for food that he could do to show Raihan his appreciation.

With his face heating up again, he was grateful when he checked the Pokeformula and found it ready. He'd never been this preoccupied with desire before, even during what were supposed to have been his horny teenage years. He decided to count it as improvement in some way and hastily filled up a dropper of it to take back to Raihan.

The Applin blinked at the dropper, but the scent eventually clued her in that she was being offered food. Her head slowly emerged from the apple through the holes her eyes stuck through. She had already learned from Hop that the dropper meant food. The fruits that Applins burrowed themselves into were their main source of nourishment, but Pokeformula was designed to boost the immune system and provide extra nourishment. She allowed Raihan to squeeze the plunger into her mouth before popping back shyly into the apple.

"Aw, don't worry, little 'un. We're not scary," Raihan said.

"I don't know...Have you seen the teeth on Sandaconda? They look like they could crunch through an apple," Hop said. Though in truth, Raihan's Sandaconda was addicted to Pokepuffs from Kalos. The Applin was too young to understand what a Sandaconda or teeth were, luckily. Though, there was a chance she also didn't know what an apple was, either. They were just the yummy things that Applins lived in.

Something occurred to Hop, then. "Rai? How much do you know about Applins? They're dragons, after all."

Raihan shrugged as he petted the Applins tail, trying to coax her into coming back out. "Well, I might not know as much as a Pokedex, but I know a fair bit. Why?"

Hop worried his lip. "I thought they burrowed into apples after they hatched. But this one came out with the apple already intact. It's the fruit part that shows the shiny markings, you know? So...which is it?"

Raihan blinked and stopped stroking the Applin's tail. He opened his mouth to answer, thought about it, and then shut it again. Finally, he took a breath. "Now you're just trying to throw me off my game, luv."

"No, I'm serious!" Hop protested. "What's the truth? If my Pokedex has been lying to me my whole life, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. What else does it have wrong? Maybe I should run a few tests to see if the shiny phenotype comes from the fruit instead of the actual body of the Applin..."

Raihan gave an offended gasp. "Are you talking about experimenting on _our child_? I didn't know you had it in you!"

"I'm only joking!... Kind of," Hop said, playfully sheepish. "I would just need a _few skin cells_."

Raihan wrapped the Applin back up in her blanket when it was apparent she was dozing off after her feeding. "Right, right. I have half a mind to steal her away with me when I leave. Who knows what you'll get up to with her in that secret lab of yours."

Hop laughed as Raihan set her back in her nest in the corner. He tilted his head as he peered down at her fondly. "Come to think of it, I should figure out what kind of ball to put her in."

Hop came over to stand next to him. "I don't catch as many Pokemon as I used to. I'm afraid I don't have much of a variety. Pretty sure I have some Pokeballs left, though."

Raihan waved his hand vaguely. "Nah, I like the classic as much as the next guy, but that feels too plain. This is a special occasion!"

"A premier ball, maybe?" Hop said. "I might have one in my stash. I didn't use them a whole lot on my journey."

"Feels a bit commercial," Rai said. His brow furrowed in concentration. "Feels like we need something a bit more, ya know, personal. Like a Friend Ball or a..." He suddenly grinned wolfishly with an idea. "Love ball."

Hop covered the lower half of his face with his hand, his cheeks gushing with flustered heat. "Y-You cad! That's so sappy..."

Raihan turned to put his arms around Hop and draw him close. "But it's so perfect, isn't it?"

Hop just about giggled as his hands rested on Raihan's chest. "Well, in a sense, I suppose it is." He drew in a soft, contented sigh when Raihan leaned down to kiss him. When they parted, Raihan's hand settled on Hop's cheek. His icy eyes were easy as he took Hop in. "I haven't thanked you yet, luv."

Hop smiled up at him. "It was my pleasure. I wanted...wanted to show you how much you mean to me."

Raihan was only a hair's width away from Hop's lips. "Now who's the sappy one?" They brought one another in for another kiss this time. Hop leaned into him, opening his mouth with a sigh. 

It was so nice like this when he could feel safe and cherished and he actually wanted to give back the physical affection in return. And he was drawn to Raihan now, even if it was a fairly recent development. He'd been grateful to Raihan before, yes, but it hadn't crossed the line into attraction.

It was all new, exhilarating, and something he never thought he would feel again. But he wondered if this thing between them really didn't work out...would it happen again? Was this just a fluke or did it come about only after he trusted Raihan?

They pulled away with a small, wet sound that sent a spark running up Hop's spine.

"Come on, let's find a movie or something while we wait for the food," Raihan said.

Hop smiled and moved them over to the couch. "What were you thinking of? Something scary? Funny? I don't...uh...really do romcoms, though."

Raihan laughed. "Don't worry, I don't either. I've got enough of one right here, eh?" His lips brushed over Hop's shoulder and it made his heart leap a little, though not unpleasantly. He doubted Raihan was even thinking about the gesture.

"Y-You seem like more of an action buff to me," Hop said.

"That right? Well, you can't go wrong with explosions," Raihan said.

"Attack of the Galvantulas 5 is out on Pokeflix, I think," Hop said. "I'm pretty sure they use Dragapult missiles to try to contain the Galvantulas this time. Y'know, after the Electrodes didn't work."

"'Course they didn't fuckin' work. They were trying to use an electric type to bring down electric Pokemon," Raihan said. "Shoulda used Sandstorm."

Hop laughed through his nose. "That _would_ be your first choice." He scrolled through their choices with his remote. "There's Ekanses on a Plane. Or the Blair Mismagius Project. I used to be freaked out by that one when I was a kid."

And a teenage Leon would jump out at the most unexpected times when he realized he could scare Hop by doing so.

Hop froze at the intrusive memory and didn't realize Raihan was speaking to him until he saw Rai watching him out of the corner of his eye.

"S-Sorry?" He said.

"I said Dawn of the Dusclops sounds good." Raihan looked him over. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, brilliant," Hop said. "Dawn of the Dusclops it is." He started the movie and turned down the lights while setting his phone on his leg so that he would feel the vibration when the curry was delivered. Raihan rested his arm over the back of the chair behind Hop who scooted closer, a smile touching his lips.

Duskulls were just starting to converge on a car with two hapless teenagers making out when Hop's phone lit up and he reluctantly pulled away to go and meet the delivery driver. Dubwool had been snoozing in the corner on a mini Pokebed until he smelled the curry Hop was pulling out from the bag and proceeded to come over and beg next to Hop with big, watery eyes.

"You poor thing," Hop crooned at him. "I never feed you, do I?"

"Nothing but wool and bones," Raihan said between bites of curry. Though in time, Hop clearly saw him discreetly set down one of his empty containers on the floor next to the couch for Dubwool to come and lick. Hop would have stopped him but he was curious as to how Dubwool would deal with the hot spice. A moment later, he came out from behind the couch, his tongue lolling out and headed for his water jug. Raihan chuckled and tried to look innocent when Hop peered at him pointedly, though he couldn't hide his smile.

"When did we start feeding them curry, anyway?" Hop said. "It's human food. What did we expect was going to happen?"

"Probably didn't mean to feed it to them," Raihan said, "They just grabbed some while we weren't looking. Rather than fight it, we gave in." His arm had resettled over Hop's shoulders and Hop leaned into him. He felt Raihan's gaze on him. "Hey, wanna lay down?"

Hop peered up at him. "Lay down?"

"Yeah, you know, stretch out on the couch, take a load off your shoulders. You can put your head in my lap if you want," Raihan said. "Not suggesting anything with that though. You just look tired."

"I always have bags under my eyes from the lab. It's just my normal," Hop said, though he straightened up as he considered it. "O-Okay, I'll try it.

He brought his legs up beside him on the couch and curled up on so that his head was pillowed on Raihan's thigh. He felt Raihan's hand on his hair, gently tracing his hairline and stroking through his purple locks.

On the screen, a bunch Duskulls had evolved into Dusclops and had surrounded a gas station full of hapless people and their Pokemon. He found his eyes drooping before too long. There was something very intimate about sitting like this with Raihan, even if they weren't doing anything sexual. He felt the tension ebbing out of him. 

And there was always tension, always stiffness, like his muscles were anticipating the next fight-or-flight situation. His therapist had said that in a situation like the one Hop was in, his body had interpreted the stress as a survival situation, even if Leon never did anything to cause him serious injury (not physically, anyway). The human body was most definitely not built to endure that kind of stress over a long period of time without it wreaking havoc on the person. He had been with Leon for months.

His eyes eventually slid shut with the feel of Raihan's fingers in his hair. For a blissful moment, all thought melted away in the warmth from the furnace that was Raihan and the gentle touches given to him. Too bad it ended sooner than he would have liked. After what felt like only a handful of seconds, he was roused by Raihan very gently shaking him.

"Movie's over, luv. We should get you to bed," Raihan said. "I ain't complainin', mind, but it might be more comfortable for you."

Hop made a soft sound and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Mm, how did they defeat the Dusclops?"

"Ah, they brought in a Weavile that unraveled the bandages and found a mummified thing," Raihan said. "Then they buried it and everything went away with the 'power of love'."

It seemed Hop woke up just in time to see the after-credits scene in which the camera closed in on the fresh grave of the burial site to reveal the hand of a Dusknoir emerging to the surface.

"They're going to turn this into a franchise bigger than the Galvantulas. I have a feeling," Hop said.

"You complain now but then you'll watch every one of them," Raihan said.

"We'll see if they're any good first..." He trailed off into a yawn. "Alright, alright, bed. You're welcome to the shower if you want one."

"Might just do that. Gotta get the smell of train off me," Raihan chuckled as he stood to grab his bag.

While he was in the shower, Hop went over to check on the Applin. While asleep, she drew her eyes and tail into the apple so that she looked like a piece of normal fruit. In another setting, Hop would have wanted to cut the apple open (not her, just the fruit) so see how she curled up inside, but he had already told Raihan that he wouldn't do any experiments on their Applin.

_Their child_

His chest tightened. Impressive how quickly Raihan took to that idea. In Hop's mind, the Applin had been more of a gift but...once you put it that way, in terms of him and Rai raising the little thing together, it wasn't out of the question to call her their kid. He arranged the blankets around her to keep her warm and then went to go change into his sleeping clothes.

He laid down in his bed but felt a little more awake than sleepy. He had wanted to ask Raihan if he could...

Heat rose in his belly. Nothing too big, but since he had such success in the shower the day before, he kept thinking about what it would be like to have Raihan actually there instead of just a fantasy in his mind. It wasn't like there was a huge rush. Raihan was going to be staying with him for the next few nights, but now that one experiment had been successful, he wanted to see how far he would actually be able to go.

Not that Raihan was completely an experiment. Hop really did want to enjoy it with him, and not just to replace the bad memories with good ones.

Now there was only the matter of the Pokemon in the other room to worry about. He wasn't so much worried about the Applin as he was Dubwool. It was embarrassing enough to think about fooling around with Raihan and have Dubwool hear him, but he also really, really didn't want Dubwool to misconstrue any...sounds he might hear as Hop being in trouble and come barging in. With that thought in mind, he grabbed his robe and stepped out into the hall. Raihan was still in the shower, so Hop had a few minutes to spare.

After trying some of the super-spicy curry, Dubwool had collapsed back on his bed. He lifted his head when Hop came into the sitting area. Hop knelt down next to him and scratched him underneath his chin, making his eyes slide close in happiness. Might as well butter him up a bit before broaching the subject.

"Ah, you know you're one of the absolute, bestest boys, Dubwool," Hop began. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind staying in your Pokeball tonight?"

Dubwool's eyes snapped back open and fixed on him in the same way a parent did with a child they just found out broke the rules.

Hop tried desperately not to flush under the weight of that look.

"I...I know why you lot have been doing all of this. I promise I do. It means so much, you have no idea," Hop said. He kissed the top of Dubwool's fuzzy head. "I don't know where I would be without you. That's why...I want you to rest. It'll be alright, I promise. You don't have to be concerned for me."

Dubwool didn't seem convinced in the slightest. He snorted and his slanted eyes narrowed.

"It's not like I'm sealing you away," Hop said, biting his lip. "If I'm in any danger, you and Zacian and all the rest of you will protect me. I trust you."

Very slowly, Dubwool relaxed. He was still cautious. Leaving Hop alone was clearly the last thing he wanted to do, but he was willing to try this for Hop's sake. Raihan had proven himself sound enough for him to be satisfied.

Hop sighed and gave him a small smile. "Thank you. I mean it, thank you. I love you so much."

Dubwool touched his nose to Hop's cheek and went over to his Pokeball, letting himself inside. The sitting room was suddenly very quiet which made the sound of the shower going off that much more prominent. Hop worried his lip as he made his way back to his bedroom and sank down on the edge of the mattress. By the time Raihan joined him, Hop was fidgeting.

Raihan was toweling off his dreads until he spotted Hop. He just wore a pair of sweatpants and a black tank that showed off the musculature of his arms.

"It's too late to look so serious," Raihan said. He dropped the towel onto his bag and grinned up at Hop. "So? What have you got on your mind?"

"I...ah..." Hop wrung his hands a bit, his heart suddenly beating loudly enough that he was surprised Raihan couldn't hear it. Saying what he wanted to say suddenly seemed like an impossible task. In the back of his mind, he knew it didn't have to amount to anything. He could just downplay it. But if he'd laughed everything off from the start, none of this would have happened. 

Strange. He'd helped save the world but suddenly talking to Raihan was the terrifying bit.

"I was thinking...And you don't have to do it if you don't want to..." Hop paused, his face gushing with heat. "I want to...W-Would you t-touch me a little tonight?"

Raihan's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Are you ready for that?"

Hop squeezed the hem of his shirt. "I think so."

One of Raihan's hands settled on his hip. "You sure? I don't want you to think I came all the way to Motostoke just to seduce you."

Hop had to choke back a laugh. "I-I mean, I'm the one who brought it up first. That's not really you seducing me." He paused and then added, more quietly, "I don't know if I can go all the way, though."

Raihan's response was to give a little shrug. "Then we won't go all the way. There are other ways to get orgasms, luv. If you even want to go that far."

In some part of Hop's brain, there was the trepidation as to how a partner would take it if Hop told them he might have boundaries he would be uncomfortable crossing until he was ready. Leon had ignored them, after all. And here Raihan was agreeing to it instead of resisting or pushing him. Could he just be saying that while intending not to stop once they started? 

Raihan stopped before. He seemed to have significantly more self-control than Leon. Ironic for a man who loved to lose his control on the battlefield. 

Raihan's head tilted a bit as he watched Hop. "What do you have in mind, then?"

Hop rubbed the back of his neck. "I...don't know. I honestly didn't think I would ever get to this point."

"Well, let's put it this way, then," Raihan said. "You say you want me to touch you. Do you want it to stay above the belt?"

Hop thought about this for a moment. "That's probably a good place to start."

Raihan nodded. "Do you want the clothes to stay on?"

Hop bit the inside of his cheek. "M-Maybe the pants...I feel like I'm killing the mood."

Raihan chuckled. "It's hard to kill the mood when we haven't started yet. Best to know where our stopping points are now before we get down to it and do something to _really_ kill the mood."

With a small nod, Hop said, "I suppose that's true."

"And it doesn't have to end here, either," Raihan said, stepping closer to the bed. "I want you to talk to me, luv. Tell me what feels good and what doesn't." When he was close enough, he took Hop's chin in his hand, running his thumb over his cheek. "Think you can do that?"

There was a lump in his throat that Hop didn't trust his voice not quiver if he spoke so he just nodded. He scooched over to make room for Raihan next to him which he took, settled with one leg still hanging over the edge to the floor.

This was by no means the closest he had been with someone, but it was the first time he was opening himself up willingly to another person like this. Between making himself vulnerable and the desperate desire not to fuck this up at any cost, he felt a bit lightheaded. He didn't know what he expected, but the fear that twitched in the back of his mind that reared up at the idea of being touched again seemed to want him to believe that this was on the same level of being set on fire. The trepidation was the worst part. Even though supposedly Hop could just say something and back out whenever he wanted, the part of his brain dedicated to self-preservation said it was a lie. Once this started, it couldn't be stopped. No matter how much he begged and fought, it wouldn't stop.

He sucked in a breath. His eyes were drawn to the movement of Raihan gathering his dreads together and letting them hang to the sides of his face and down the back of his neck. A few of them brushed his shoulders. Arceus, but he looked...good. None of his selfies on Pinsergram did him any justice. Some of Hop's nervousness took a back seat to the warmth that started in his chest and spread outward to the rest of him. Raihan was smiling at him so softly.

"Alright," Raihan said. "Let's take this nice an' easy. Come 'ere..." He beckoned to Hop - another invitation without force. Letting Hop make the choice. With no bargains or compromises or threats. Hop moved closer and Raihan put a strong arm around him. Familiar and safe. The warmth settled in his gut. Raihan. Not Leon.

Hop let himself be drawn in. He tilted his head in preparation for a kiss, but Raihan paused so he could move a couple of locks of Hop's hair out of his face. His eyes closed when the hand moved to cup his cheek and he leaned into that warm palm and long fingers. He made a mental note to compare the sizes of their hands later. For scientific reasons, of course. He felt Raihan move in and nudge the tip of Hop's nose with his own. Hop couldn't help the small, bashful laugh that escaped him and broke through his anxiety.

Then Raihan's lips were pressed against his and his senses were suddenly filled. Raihan's cologne had been washed off in the shower, but what was the lingering smell of smoke and the scent of shampoo, clean yet musky. It wasn't long before he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and wrapped his arms gently around Raihan's neck.

Raihan, not Leon. As if he would ever mistake one for the other at this point.

Raihan's hands ran up and down Hop's back, dragging along the fabric of the robe Hop put on just to talk to Dubwool. Hop enjoyed their kissing for a moment longer and then pulled back enough to untie the robe and drop it on the floor. Raihan gave him a lazy grin and welcomed him back against his lips. Hop's hands set on Raihan's chest where he could imagine a strong heartbeat. The little wet sounds between their mouths made him sigh. A current of desire flicked to life in his lower belly.

And there was no need to push it down or ignore it. There was no need for shame or uncertainty. No reason to wait and tell himself that this wasn't the right time. He could relish this and let it chase away his thoughts for a while. Just to _be with_ Raihan.

His tongue traced Raihan's fang and then their tips circled one another. Another sigh escaped him when Raihan nibbled on his bottom lip. He could taste the tingling spice from the fireball curry.

"Can I touch underneath your shirt?" Raihan whispered, to which Hop nodded. His shirt was lifted a little and then Raihan's hands were rubbing along the smooth skin of his sides and back. Hop was hard put not to squirm when they ran across his waist and down to his hips. 

"Alright?" Raihan asked. 

"Yeah," Hop said. "Y-You can touch in front too if you want." The touch followed suit, following his waist around to his soft abs. He didn't have the definition that his brother had. It didn't seem that Raihan much cared about that, tho, with the way his fingers traced the curves upward to the sensitive pads of Hop's nipples.

He'd been sensitive there whenever Leon brushed over them, but this was different. He gave a tiny gasp into the kiss. The front of his shirt rode up with Raihan's wrists.

"Mm, w-we can take it off," Hop murmured. Raihan gathered up the fabric in his hands and lifted it up and over Hop's head and arms. At first, Hop wasn't able to name the source of his anticipation until he remembered that this was really the first time when he had been in any state of undress in front of Raihan. Even when staying at Raihan's apartment, Hop had maintained the same certain level of modesty he had in every other walk of life. He was self-conscious of having his clothes off in front of anyone nowadays.

Case in point, when he suddenly felt the cool air against the skin of his torso, his arms instinctively came up to cover his chest as heat rose to his face.

Raihan's expression softened. "Hey, it's okay, baby," he said, "You wanna put it back on?"

Hop swallowed and shook his head. "I'm fine." He took a breath and dropped his arms. Raihan laid his shirt across the edge of the bed as he took in the sight of Hop's bared torso. If his smile was anything to go by, he liked what he saw, but what he said was, "Is it alright if I call you baby? Just something that comes out."

Hop's blush deepened. "Y-Yeah. I like it." With his skin cooled a bit, he was feeling the absence of Raihan's heated touch more starkly. He moved closer and leaned in to resume the kiss. Raihan's arms went around his and pulled him closer. Oh, that was what he had hoped for and he wasn't disappointed. As their lips danced together, he was engulfed by the furnace that could only come from the body of a dragon. His arms draped around Raihan's shoulders where he traced designs over Rai's upper back as the fire in his belly grew.

Leon had said he loved him, treasured him; sometimes it even felt like his older brother was trying to worship him in his own twisted way.

So why did this feel so much better than anything Leon tried to give him during their months in Wyndon? Why wasn't Hop cringing? Why was he melting into Raihan's embrace so easily? To the point where he shivered when his tongue slid over Raihan's?

Raihan stopped the kiss long enough to say, "I can take mine off too if you'd like, luv." Hearing Rai call him that endearment in that low rumble made his heart swell.

"Yeah...I wanna touch you too," Hop said. Raihan wasted no time in getting rid of the tank. Hop swallowed as his eyes drifted over him. The selfies after his workout sessions didn't do his results justice either. He reached up and ran his hands along the most defined muscles, occasionally feeling the ridges of scars that it was too dark to see. Scars from years of wrangling his dragons, both young and old. 

"Damn, Rai," he whispered, earning a low chuckle. In truth, he had no idea what either Raihan or Leon had seen in Hop that apparently made him attractive.

Raihan quieted him with another soft nip on the lips. "You okay with laying back? We don't have to do anything big, but I want to kiss down your body."

"S-Sure," Hop breathed. He moved back towards the middle of the bed to let Raihan climb up after him. Once he was practically straddling Hop, Raihan guided him onto his back and smiled softly at him. Hop's mind whirled, but he didn't want to stop. Not when he actually liked having Raihan hovering over him like this and not feel fear. 

"Breathe, baby," Raihan said before leaning down to give him a long kiss. Hop's lips were beginning to feel a bit tender. He reached up to run his hands over Raihan's strong back, feeling more lines of scars here and there. He suddenly wanted to find and trace every one of them either with his fingers or with his tongue.

That thought made him moan softly into Raihan's mouth. Arceus, what was coming over him? It was like he was getting drunk on these feelings when he realized being with someone could feel good. It made his body want to experience everything at once, whether or not his mind was ready for it. He was just running on endorphins. 

Raihan moved away from his mouth to kiss his throat. A surge of pleasure made Hop's breath catch. He was...He was getting hard. He felt himself stiffen when Raihan sucked a spot near the base of his throat. He licked the spot to soothe the skin and continued downward. Hop could feel that he was breathing heavily and knew he must be aroused too. The knowledge was like a wave crashing against a shore. It should have been so simple, but knowing Raihan was hungering for him was...

"Ah!..." Hop gasped when Raihan's mouth close on his left nipple. He was attuned from the earlier touches. His other nipple was being toyed with and traced around until it hardened again. Teeth gently tugged at the bud playfully. "R-Raihan...ahh...."

When Raihan finally sat up to peer down at him, the movement caused the fabric of Hop's pants to slide across his growing erection and he groaned. 

"Hop..." Raihan's pupils had dilated from their usual slits in his arousal. There was no mistaking the hunger there, the hint of Raihan's feral side when he found a meal. There was a slight movement of his hips and Hop could tell he was trying hard not to grind into Hop. From the looks of his shorts, his erection was coming along nicely. 

"Can I...g-get you off with my hand?" Hop said, his voice a little airy. He wasn't sure he had the nerve for his own pants to come off completely just yet. It was a strange feeling when he had just been writhing underneath Raihan, but the thought of baring everything made a chill of trepidation rush up his spine. Maybe, he thought, he could try being the one to bring pleasure and see how it felt.

Raihan's expression softened with surprise. "You're okay with that?" Then when Hop nodded, he rumbled, "You can do whatever you want to me."

A smile tugged at Hop's mouth as he tentatively reached up and touched the span of hard muscle across Raihan's belly. His core was even more heated than the rest of him. Hop swallowed and trailed down to the sizable bulge in his shorts. He figured Raihan was big, but if he bragged, he definitely wasn't compensating for anything. There was a sharp intake of breath when Hop felt him through the shorts fabric. Hop's eyes flitted up to see Raihan watching his hands' progress closely. He settled back on Hop's hips, their cocks now close but for the layers of clothes between them.

"W-Would it be weird if I...touched myself too?" Hop said.

Raihan laughed through his nose. "Nah. Dressing up as a Miltank on an abandoned farm so that a lady in a Bouffalant costume can peg you - now that's weird. This isn't weird."

Hop gushed bright red and paused where he was running his fingers over the elastic band of Raihan's shorts. "H-Have you actually done that?"

"No comment," Raihan said. His voice was a bit gruff now that Hop had reached into his shorts and wrapped a hand around him. Hop worked him for a moment and then gently brought him out of the shorts for more freedom. The act itself was nothing new, but enjoying the way Raihan muttered, "Oh, shit..." was. He caressed Raihan with both of his hands, listening to his breathing grow ragged. Raihan gently squeezed one of Hop's thighs behind him.

Hop continued to stroke Raihan's cock with one hand, adding a twist at the end around his head, while he reached into his own sweatpants and touched himself. There was something intimate about being the one to pleasure them both at the same time. Raihan began rocking his hips into Hop's grip and cursed under his breath when Hop tightened it around him. It was addictive watching Raihan move over him.

"A-Ah, fuck. That's it, baby," Raihan said between heavy breaths. He leaned forward, running his hands over Hop's sides. His hips were grinding against Hop's erection now, making Hop bite the inside of his cheek. With the added stimulation, he returned both of his hands around Raihan's cock and picked up his pace. Raihan grunted in response. "I'm getting close. _Fuck_. You have a tissue or do you care about where it goes?"

Hop was pretty sure there was a box of tissues on his bedside table but couldn't be bothered to look. Both of his hands were busy anyway and he was rocking his hips in time with Raihan's movements with no desire to stop. "It's okay. I don't mind."

He saw Raihan licked over his teeth. "I wanna kiss you so badly right now." Pre-cum leaked out of his tip that Hop's fingers picked up and slicked over the rest of him. "Damn it! Hop!" With a couple firm thrusts into Hop's hands, he shuddered. His seed splashed over Hop's hands and chest.

While Raihan was gasping above him, Hop reached down to nearly touch the mess on his skin in a daze. He said he didn't mind and he really didn't. It was Raihan's, after all. It didn't feel _gross_. He felt Raihan shift back so he could lean down to clamp their lips together. Hop closed his eyes with a noise in the back of his throat.

"Let...Let me take care of you now. Is it alright?" Raihan said. Still lost in his mind fog, Hop nodded. As soon as he did, Raihan's hand snaked into his sweatpants. Hop whimpered into Raihan's mouth and arched his back. He might have smeared some of the cum between them on Raihan's bare torso, but he had a feeling Rai didn't care. He held on to any part of Raihan he could reach with them so close, his arms ultimately resting around his neck. Raihan had slid to his side for easier access and drew Hop out of his sweatpants.

It was hot and sweet, so much better than he imagined in the shower the night before. It didn't take him long to finish after everything they already did. He felt himself nearing the threshold and choked out a groan when he crossed it, holding onto Raihan as he rode out his orgasm. Raihan held him until his breathing evened out and he relaxed against the mattress.

"Rai..." he whispered.

"Yeah? Did you like it?" Raihan replied.

"Y-Yeah." Hop's eyes slid open to find Raihan resting on his arm to his side. "Y-You're amazing."

Raihan chuckled and nuzzled his shoulder. "You are too. I'm gonna get us cleaned up and then we can get some sleep. Sound good?"

Hop nodded, though it was cold when Raihan left him, it was well worth it when he finally got what it was like to lay skin-to-skin with someone else in soft warmth that night, without fear.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Visit continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Consensual smut at the end of the chapter.
> 
> ALSO: CHECK OUT SOME FANART MADE BY HUEVO! Huevo WROTE Your Biggest Fan, which this fic is heavily based off of/a fan sequel to! I am thrilled AND DED: 
> 
> https://twitter.com/leonloveshop/status/1274521025972142081?s=20

Hop remembered telling his therapist once that he felt like he didn't deserve his relationship with Raihan. Eventually, Raihan was going to figure out that Hop was too broken and that his time was better spent with someone who could satisfy all his needs and desires without needing to be healed. That he really hadn't been worth saving and that moving on was his best bet. Hop wasn't useful enough to save himself from Leon, so why should he be considered anything more than damaged goods.

"And you think all of that means you don't deserve to be happy?" she asked him.

He couldn't quite meet her eyes, focusing instead on the fidget cube in his hands. There was a lever to the side that he flicked whenever he started feeling sorry for himself.

"He could have anyone he wants," Hop said. "I don't have much to show for myself."

"Do accomplishments determine the value of a person, then?" she said. She had a female Indeedee who sat on her knees and nibbled on berries. The aroma Indeedee released around the room was supposed to be a mild sedative for their patients.

"N-No, I don't want to say that." Even though that's how he felt about pretty much everybody else. "It's just...he's helped me so much, I don't want to disappoint him or for him to...r-regret me."

"How would you disappoint him?" the therapist asked. She was rubbing the back of Indeedee's head. Hop's own Toxtricity was leaning on the back of his chair with his usual high-and-almighty expression that said he was too good for this world. Occasionally he picked at Hop's hair as though grooming him.

"I don't know," Hop said. "He's nice to me, handsome, a gym leader. I'm just me. A professor's assistant who only just figured out what I might want to do with the rest of my life."

"Has he ever told you that he regrets dating you or given any indication that he believes you're inferior?" the therapist said.

Hop worried his lip. "No..."

"Then it sounds like _you_ are more worried than he is." She shifted in her seat and Indeedee's ear tuffs twitched. "He is with you because he chose to be. Every day that passes, he chooses you and you choose him. Do you agree?"

"Yeah, I guess," Hop said.

A low "Tox," came from behind him.

"Yes, I agree," Hop amended.

"Good, good," the therapist said with a small smile. "Whenever these thoughts arise, I want you to challenge them. Ask yourself where they are coming from and fill the void they leave behind with something positive of the same nature. Do you think you can do that?"

Hop gave a small nod. "I can try."

"Tox."

"I will try."

" _Tox."_

"I will," Hop said, blushing.

That therapy session came back to him from time to time, including when he woke up next to Raihan in his flat with a strong arm around his middle. A bit of light shone through the overcast sky and landed across the pair of them. Rookidee songs floated in through the open window.

And Hop realized, with a sweet ache in his chest, that he was _falling for this man._ Raihan was still sleeping, his face soft. Hop swallowed and reached up to move a couple of dreads that were laying across the sides of his face and then ran his thumb down his cheek. The ache just intensified until it was hard to breathe. Oh, he must have it bad. But how could he not when Raihan actually treated him like a human being and not just something to lay claim over?

It felt so easy, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle snapping into place. Hop felt tears welling up in his eyes and blinked them away before he could embarrass himself by waking up Raihan with his crying. It was just that it was so _right_ \- this feeling that he had found something that was lost.

To be fair, something had indeed been stolen from him by someone he thought he could trust forever. And now that it was back, he didn't know how to handle it. Who would have thought that someone just...asking if touching him was okay would mean so much?

Having to use the bathroom, he slowly slid out from underneath Raihan's arm and stood up. Once he finished, he splashed water on his face over the sink. It seemed a bit ridiculous to be falling apart first thing in the morning, but how could it be helped? He had about as much experience controlling these emotions as a Psyduck could heal its headaches - that was to say, not much.

He returned to the bedroom to find Raihan sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. After getting cleaned up the night before, both of them had managed to get shirts back on for sleeping. Probably a good thing as the sight of Raihan's bare torso would just add a distraction while Hop's thoughts were complicated enough. But then he remembered that there was no reason to feel guilty over these things anymore and the heaviness surrounding the ache cleared.

"M-Morning," Hop said, rubbing the back of his neck, his face flushed.

"G'morning," Raihan said. "Thought you'd gone and run off on me."

"Sorry, just, ah...didn't want to wake you," Hop said. "If it helps, I wouldn't have been able to get very far."

Raihan tied his hair back and peered up at Hop and _Arceus_ had his eyes always been that sharply blue?

"Well...more than that, I was worried I went too fast for you last night," Raihan said.

Hop blinked at that. "Too...N-No! It wasn't too fast. I mean, I was the one who started everything. I told you what I wanted to do."

Raihan nodded and Hop thought he caught a flicker of relief in his expression. "You'd tell me if you weren't ready for somethin', right?"

More heat rose to Hop's face. "Yes, I would. But everything's been so...w-wonderful so far. Really, don't worry."

As he was speaking, Raihan stood up from the bed to come over and give him a peck on the lips. "I'm glad to hear it, luv."

Hop smiled up at him. "I'm going to make some coffee if you fancy some."

"Sounds brilliant, thanks~," Raihan said, stifling a quick yawn as he headed into the bathroom. As Hop went to the kitchen, he found Toxtricity out of his Pokeball and stretched out over the couch with Applin on his belly. From the looks of it, she was eating the inside of her apple for breakfast.

"Good morning to you too," Hop said with a quick pat on his head.

"Tox." How was it possible that it could still seem like Toxtricity was looking down condescendingly on the world from a reclining position? Hop put on a pot of coffee to brew and opened a package of scones for the lot of them.

Meanwhile, he heard Raihan emerge from the hall and say, "Well, ain't you a good babysitter?"

"Tooox." By now all of Hop's Pokemon had become acquainted with Raihan and put their stamp of approval on him. It meant Hop no longer had to fear a tense confrontation like Zacian's during their first date, but they still wanted one of their number to be close by just in case. If it kept everyone happy, Hop was willing to go along with it.

Besides, on the days when he felt particularly paranoid of Leon just...showing up, he was grateful to have them.

Raihan let Toxtricity keep Applin while they ate their breakfast and fed the Pokemon. At some point, some of the cream from Raihan's coffee left a pale line just above his lip.

"Ah, you've got some..." Hop began, gesturing vaguely to the same spot on his own mouth before giving up. "Here, I'll get it." Without thinking, he leaned forward to wipe the dollop of cream off with his index finger before popping it into his mouth. It wasn't until he heard Raihan snickering that he realized what he did. Raihan grinned over at him.

"Coulda just licked it off, luv," Raihan said. "I wouldn't complain."

A blush had settled over Hop's cheeks like a fine glaze. "I-I, well...It seemed faster this way."

"Are you saying you'd take your time licking me clean?" Raihan said, leaning closer with his voice dipping down in pitch. "Hm, maybe I should put more cream in my coffee."

"You're so bad," Hop said, trying and failing to suppress a giggle.

"You didn't say no!" Raihan teased.

A little desire for some mischief settled in Hop's chest. How long had it been since he felt playful like this? Things at the lab were usually focused and productive (apart from the pranks people played on the interns). But when it was just Raihan here, Hop felt the serious facade melt away.

"Well, now that you mention it, it looks like I missed a spot," Hop began, collecting a bit of cream on the tip of his pinky finger and dabbed it onto the corner of Raihan's mouth. "Right here."

Raihan gave him a lazy grin, his eyes lidded. "Damn, I'm clumsier than I thought. Can you help a bloke out, professor?" He slid his thumbs through the belt loops of Hop's pants.

Hop's blush only deepened as he put his hands on Raihan's chest. "This may take an in-depth analysis but I think I can help you with your problem." Despite his words, he couldn't help but feel a little shy as he leaned up and kissed the spot of cream, running the tip of his tongue lightly over the sweetness.

He felt Raihan's rumble through his hands. "Mm, that's more like it." He turned his head just enough to meet Hop's kiss. He tasted the scones and coffee on their tongues. This was what it was like to spend the morning with the person he was coming to love. It was incredible, almost too good to be true and he kept expecting it all to fall away and disappear from right underneath him. Or maybe it was just a lovely dream that he never wanted to wake up from.

The kiss didn't deepen or turn into a heated passion, just settled down until the parted and Raihan peered down at him with a gentle smile. The hot-blooded dragon of the Pokemon League and he was here letting Hop lick cream off his lips.

There was a chittering from the living room that sounded like the Applin having realized that the two of them were awake now that she was finished with her own breakfast.

"Oop, looks like the kid's awake," Hop said with a small laugh through his nose.

"Well, let's bring 'er in here and we'll finish off breakfast," Raihan said, but then his eyes flicked up and over Hop's shoulder. "Speak of the devil."

Hop followed his gaze to find Toxtricity striding into the room, still with an expression of universal boredom but with Applin cradled carefully in his arms. Raihan released Hop and beckoned to Toxtricity to bring her over. The Applin cooed happily when she found herself between the two of them. Toxtricity took up position behind Hop, first plucking at his hair and then stealing a scone.

"Hey, who d'ya think she takes after more?" Raihan said, referring to Applin whom he was trying to feed a chunk of strawberry scone.

"Mm, it's hard to say," Hop said, shrugging. "She's got my eyes, but she's pretty barmy like you."

He wasn't ready for the surprise pinch into his ribs that made him give a pathetic squeak of laughter.

"You're a cheeky thing, ain't you, luv?" Raihan said.

~

They wandered Motostoke for the day until mid-afternoon when they had tickets for the Pokemon Stadium watching a sponsored match between Kabu and Bea. Neither one of them had the type advantage, so it was a battle of wits rather than brute strength. Considering both were known to try and overwhelm their opponents with hard hits, it was kind of fun to watch them try to find ways to outsmart the other. At one point, Kabu's Centiskorch was wrapped Bea's Machamp and Hop actually found himself on the edge of his seat.

He missed it from time to time, he really did. There was adrenaline from a Pokemon battle that didn't come from anywhere else. Whatever the outcome - a victory or a loss - it was the thrill that stuck with you. All he ever wanted was for his team to enjoy battling, but apparently "having fun" wasn't always conducive to winning.

All his Pokemon had evolved by now. He knew that nowhere better than when he was trying to sleep and they took up the whole bed instead of nestling in comfortably beside him like their unevolved forms. But they didn't seem to miss battling, rather they had evolved to ensure Hop was protected.

Raihan had a couple of drinks he shared with Hop as they watched. When he wasn't indulging fans who stopped him for a photo, he was watching the field. Behind his laughter, his eyes took in the action, absorbing, calculating, probably studying as hard as Hop did in his labs. He had the mind for formulating battle strategies that Hop didn't; the same as Leon had.

In the end, Kabu won. Hop suspected that he was trying to make a comeback from his loss to Raihan. They stuck around for Kabu's short address to the crowd and then slipped out before the audience clogged up the stairwells. It wasn't anything special, but somehow ducking through the back hand-in-hand with Raihan sent Hop's heart racing.

Once they got a breath of fresh air, Raihan grinned down at him. "You hungry, luv?"

Hop was squinting up at the orange sky now that the sun was sinking below the horizon. He shook his head. "I filled up on nachos in the stadium. Are you?"

"Nah, same," Raihan said.

"We should go to the park by the river. The sunset looks bloody amazing from there," Hop said. "Usually, I'm still at the lab this time of night. Haven't watched it for a while."

"Well, if that doesn't sound like peak romance, I don't know what does," Raihan said. "Didn't know you were the hopeless romantic sort."

Heat gushed to Hop's face. "Y-You're the one who's rubbing off on me. How was I s'pose to know you were so brilliant underneath it all?"

Raihan slapped a hand over his face while he laughed. Maybe it was because of the fading light, but Hop could have sworn he saw a blush working its way over his cheeks. "You ain't even seen all of me yet, talking about 'underneath it all'."

No, Hop hadn't and he was beginning to become acutely aware of that fact. It was all mixed up in the same feelings from that morning and the night before, of wanting to touch and be touched. Of wanting to feel the closeness and relish in the pleasure instead of feeling sick to his stomach. Because he was finding out that this whole 'falling in love' thing could actually be _good_. And to think on their first date, he'd been worried about whether or not Raihan would want him to put out.

They made their way from the stadium to one of the steam lifts to the park. Motostoke was an industrial city of brick and concrete but both humans and Pokemon needed a touch of nature to thrive. So, someone had decided to put a strip of lawn lined with trees and benches by the river.

It was also a popular place to let out one's Pokemon to frolic. Dubwool was eating a ring of grass around Duraludon while it took a nap sitting up. Hop and Raihan chose a bench close to the river and settled there with Raihan's long legs stretched in front of him and Hop leaning on with his head on Raihan's shoulder. He rested his chin on his interlaced fingers.

The water itself was clean with the efforts of the city's Pokemon. There was a Weezing floating by, pumping the smell of lavender in the air while the dark water reflected the colors of the dying sunlight.

"Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been if I kept training and battling instead of studying under Sonia," Hop said, quietly.

One of Raihan's hands slipped out of his jacket pocket and spread out over Hop's lower back. "Coulda taken the gym challenge again, gone up against Gloria, maybe even taken her down, and then I'd have to make you my rival," Raihan said. "I don't know, I like you as my smart cookie scientist boy better."

Hop snorted and laughed into Raihan's shoulder while his face turned bright red. "Well, I guess I did figure out how to breed you a shiny Applin. I wouldn't have the chance to do that as a trainer."

"See? We wouldn't have Priscilla," Raihan said.

"P-Priscilla?" Hop said, stammering in surprise.

"Yeah, we can call her Prissy for short," Raihan said as though this was the most obvious thing in Galar.

"I can't tell if that's awful or adorable," Hop said, still giggling.

"It's adorable and you know it," Raihan said. The Applin in question was currently napping in her Love Ball in a notch on Hop's belt. He would have let her out so she could wander around the park, but this was around the time she usually konked out for the evening.

A streetlamp flickered on above their heads. The sudden light made Duraludon stir and open his eyes blearily. Dubwool had successfully trapped him in a ring of eaten grass.

"Oy, big lug," Raihan called over to him. "Some lookout you are."

Duraludon grunted a bit at him and yawned. Something down the walkway must have caught his eye because he suddenly perked up and whined.

Both Hop and Raihan turned their heads at the same time to spy a pair of dark figures holding hands and occasionally bumping into one another (probably on purpose).

Just before the pair stepped into the light of the streetlamp, one of the quiet, giggling voices reached Hop and he recognized it immediately.

"Gloria?" he said, blinking. Right when he did, the pair were unveiled. Gloria was in sunglasses and a hat that covered up her hair. Hop knew a disguise when he saw one. She was holding hands with Marnie, who had added a number of piercings to her repertoire. They stopped at the sight of Hop and Raihan.

And here Hop was practically draped over his shoulder. Heat gushed to his face and he pulled away, sitting on his hands on the bench beside him. He glanced up to see that Gloria's face had also turned bright red and she'd let go of Marnie's hand. At least Marnie was completely unfazed.

Raihan grinned. "Well, well, looks like someone snuck out of the house to hook up."

"Speak for yerself," Marnie said. "Glo told me about the two o'you." Hop imagined he saw a touch of amusement on her face.

A heavy arm laid across Hop's shoulders and pulled him closer to Raihan. "Guilty as charged. She told you about us, but she didn't say anything about you."

"I-It's new! It's a new thing!" Gloria stammered.

"Hey, we ain't judgin'. Right, Hop?" Raihan said.

The heat in Hop's face hadn't dissipated. "R-Right! Of course!" He didn't want anyone to think he was ashamed of being with Raihan, but it was being with him in front of _Gloria_ that made him shy. He already told her about them, yeah, but in person, things were different. He kept thinking about the night he desperately tried to confess his feelings to her in an attempt to get away from Leon, picturing the shock on her face, her stuttering that she was sorry but she didn't feel the same way and the piercing despair that his only ticket out of the predicament with Leon was gone...

He took a shuddering breath and looked up at her and Marnie. He couldn't help but wonder if Marnie was the one Gloria had been talking to online. He wasn't at all resentful just...embarassed for himself. The sunglasses hid Gloria's eyes (sunglasses at night? She was dedicated to her disguise) so he couldn't see her expression but she was worrying her lip.

Marnie reached over and plucked the shades off of Gloria's face. "You don't gotta wear these at this hour. No one's payin' attention."

The blush over Gloria's cheeks could have been a trick of the light or a smattering of make-up, Hop told himself. "N-Nothin' to it, Marn! Just tryin' to give the fans a slip."

"What are you doing in Motostoke, anyway? I didn't know you were coming down," Hop said.

"Neither did we until a few hours ago," Gloria said with a shrug. "Marn's friend from Spikemuth was singin' at a bar. She promised she'd come."

"They were coverin' one o' Piers's tunes," Marnie rebutted. "I had to make sure they got it righ'."

"Well, don't let us stop you. Nights still young, eh?" Raihan said. 

"Same 'ere," Marnie said. "Don't do anythin' we wouldn't do."

Gloria giggled and nudged Marnie in her side. But instead of getting Marnie, she got Morpeko, who was apparently buried in Marnie's jacket. There was a squeal and Morpeko emerged from the cleavage of Marnie's jacket to stick its tongue out at them before burrowing back inside. 

As they disappeared back into the shadows of the park, Gloria called back to them, "Don't be strangers! I'll talk to yeh later!"

Hop let out a long breath and leaned against the bench, staring at his hands.

"How are you doing, luv?" Raihan asked him in a low voice.

Hop looked up at him and smiled. "I'm fine. I'm not bothered, promise. All of...that...was so long ago. I'm happy if she's happy."

Raihan nodded and settled back next to him, allowing Hop to rest his head on his shoulder again. Hop reached over and laid his hand on Raihan's forearm. Raihan withdrew his hand out of his hoodie's pocket and intertwined their fingers. Duraludon and Dubwool had returned to their napping and grazing, respectively.

"I'm... I'm enjoying things with you too much to be disappointed, anyway," Hop said. He closed his eyes as a pair of warm lips lingered over his hairline.

~

"Your fingers are so damn _long_ ," Hop complained. The back of his hand rested flush against the palm of Raihan's as they laid on the couch. Well, Raihan was laying on the couch and propped up against the arm while Hop was laying on top of Raihan, his head settled just over Rai's heart. If Zacian could fit on the couch, then they certainly could. He felt more than he heard the rumbling laughter from behind him.

Just as Hop suspected, Raihan's hands were bigger. Said obnoxiously long fingers wiggled and then wove themselves through Hop's.

"Least I still have all ten," Raihan said. "When Trapinch first hatched, she was ravenous." There was some movie on that neither of them was really paying attention to. It was warm enough that Hop had left the balcony door open to the screen to let in a sweet breeze.

"It's a good thing Applin is more interested in eating her apple, then," Hop said. He ran his thumb over Raihan's fingers. The heat of Raihan's body was surrounding him with the arm around his middle. If Hop had a blanket, it would complete the illusion of a cocoon of warmth.

"Just don't put your hand in there with her," Raihan said. "I read they get bitey when they start teething."

"Speaking of bitey..." Hop began, "I've always wondered about your fang." A little heat made his face flush.

"The fang? It's only my signature. Just ask Pinsergram," Raihan said. "What about it?"

"Well, it's not...naturally that way, is it?" Hop said, hesitantly. He wasn't quite sure how to word the question without sounding strange. "Like, it didn't get so sharp on its own, did it?"

He could practically imagine Raihan running his tongue over said fang as he thought. "I s'pose I could tell you the truth, but you gotta swear to keep it secret."

Hop bit his lip to keep from grinning. "Okay, I will."

"No, you gotta say it. Say you swear to keep it secret," Raihan said in a tone that was part teasing and part actually serious.

"I swear to keep it a secret," Hop said.

Raihan hummed lowly, as though considering it. "Wait, I want you to look me in the eyes and swear it."

Hop had to bite down his laughter as he straightened up and turned to look at Raihan, whose eyes were relaxed but glinting strangely. Half of his mouth was twisted into a smirk. "Alright, I swear not to tell another soul about the secret of your fang," Hop told him.

Raihan made a skeptical sound but finally seemed to relent. "That'll do. I hope you're ready because it's an epic story."

Despite being a little distracted by the feeling of Raihan's solid thighs underneath his rear, Hop nodded. "I'm ready for it."

Propping himself up on his elbows, Raihan grinned at him, showing off the fang in question. "I chipped that tooth when I was a kid and a dentist fixed it by putting in a new crown. Sonia said it looked sharp and scary, so I filed it down. Turns out you shouldn't do that. I had to get it fixed _again_ before I went on my Pokemon journey. That time the doc caved and said he could just give me a special canine crown if it would stop me from trying to file it again."

Hop blinked at he took all of this in. "So...the tooth really is fake?"

Raihan tapped on the fang with the fingernail of his index finger. "Fake as a Mimikyu's disguise, baby."

Hop laughed, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth. "Poor Mimikyu! That was a low blow."

"Like I said before, them's the breaks," Raihan said, wiggling his eyebrows once. "Now, don't breathe a word to anyone. You promised!"

Hop's giggling petered out and he nodded. "Alright, alright, I won't tell. But it's honestly not that bad. I think your fans would understand."

Now Raihan just looked scandalized. " _Not that bad_? My entire image is dependent on the small stuff. If one thing gets struck off balance, my whole scene crumbles and by the end of the year, you find me drunk and half-dead in a gutter."

Hop punched him lightly in the shoulder. "Now you're just being dramatic."

The glint in his eyes had a ghost of the feral glee Raihan had in battle. "Oh, it's a fight you want now, is it?" And before Hop could react or question what it was Raihan meant by "fight," his sides were being attacked in a perilous tickling session.

"Wh-Hah! What're you-" was about all he could manage between fits of laughter. He weakly tried to push Raihan's hands away. "You tosser!"

Raihan maneuvered them so that Hop was moved onto his back on the couch, all still with his devious smirk. "Just say the word and I'll stop, baby."

"O-Oka-ay! St-op, hah! p-please!" And while he had _asked_ for Raihan to cease, he didn't expect him to _actually do it._ But the torment stopped and Raihan pulled back, letting Hop gasp for breath. 

While he was smiling mischievously, one of Raihan's eyebrows cocked. "You okay? Too much?"

Hop sat up, leaning back on his arms, feeling his flushed face cool. "M-maybe for a -hah- sneak attack, but...-"

There was a snort from the corner of the room where the Pokebed was. Dubwool had scrambled to his feet at some point during the tickling and was stamping his hoof on the ground. He glared at Raihan and bucked his head. The rest of Hop's laughter died away as he swallowed. He knew when Dubwool was getting ready to charge when he saw it.

"D-Dubwool, wait," he stammered. 

"Ah, shit, easy there," Raihan said, pulling himself off of Hop slowly, trying not to make any sudden movements. 

Dubwool started forward, not charging, but with intent. Hop stepped off of the couch. "I'm fine! Look; he didn't hurt me."

Then, of course, in response to the supposed threat to her trainer, Raihan's Flygon came out of her Pokeball and perched herself on the back of the couch beside him. "Hey! Everyone just calm down now," Raihan said, holding her back with his hand on her back.

Hop's heart pounded as he crouched in front of Dubwool. "Everything is right as rain! I promise. Please relax. H-He didn't do anything Leon did."

Dubwool finally paused when he reached Hop, his ears twitching. His slanted eyes went from Raihan to Hop. He snorted and shook his head out, but a little bit of the tension had eased out of him. Hop reached up and scratched around his neck. 

"There, see? I'm sorry we scared you," Hop said. Though scared wasn't exactly the right word for it. Dubwool had been braced to fight.

As Dubwool let down his guard, so did Flygon. "There we go, see? Nothin' to it, girl," Raihan said to her. With the situation successfully de-escalated, she didn't resist when Rai called her back into her ball.

"Why don't you go back to sleep?" Hop said to Dubwool. "That's what we'll do too. I'm not mad. I know you're just trying to protect me."

Dubwool gave a sigh and licked Hop's cheek before returning to his bed, but not without one last glance at the two of them. Hop took a shuddering breath as he rubbed his face.

"Oy, let's go to the back and take a breather," Raihan said softly.

"Yeah, good idea," Hop said. His heart was still beating like a race Rapidash and anxious nausea had gripped him.

He didn't resist as Raihan gently took his arm, leading him down the hall and to his bedroom. Dubwool laid back down, but his dark, slanted eyes followed their progress.

Raihan shut the bedroom door behind them and guided Hop to sit down on the edge of the bed. Hop was rubbing his face all the while. "Deep breath, luv," Raihan said. "I'm gonna get you some water." Hop nodded and it only felt like a handful of seconds before a glass was pressed into his hands. He took it gratefully and gulped half of it down in one go.

"I'm sorry," he said when he'd emerged.

Raihan looked at him in genuine confusion. "For what?"

"F-For that. I knew you weren't trying to hurt me. Dubwool just overreacted," Hop said.

"It's awfully hard to get mad when he was doing what he's supposed to do," Raihan said. He sat down next to Hop and rubbed his back. "I probably shouldn't have jumped you like that. I won't do it again."

Hop bit his lip, staring down at his lap. He knew he could rightfully say what he did and didn't enjoy, but the idea of actually setting boundaries that would be _respected_ was still very new. "Y-You stopped...When I asked you to."

"Told you I would," Raihan said. "I told you, you can talk to me. Tell me when it's too much and I won't get mad. I'm not just blowing hot air out of my ass."

Hop snorted at that but fell silent, just breathing and willing his heart to slow its pace. When he finally spoke, it was with a quiet voice. "Thank you."

Raihan hummed. "You don't have to be afraid of me, luv."

"But I'm...afraid of losing you," Hop said, his chest tightening.

"Why the hell would you lose me?" Raihan said.

Hop swallowed. "I'm trying to give you everything I can. I wish things could be normal so I didn't have to drag you through all of my baggage."

He saw Raihan watching him out of the corner of his eye. "I don't care if it's a minefield. You survived shit that would break a person for life."

Hop shivered. "He didn't...He didn't injure me though. And some people are held captive for years..."

Raihan took his chin and turned his face towards him. "I'm not talking about them, I'm talking about you. All of that doesn't make any of the stuff you went through less godawful."

Hop set his glass on his dresser and leaned into Raihan, digging his fingers into his shirt. "Still...I wouldn't blame you if you decided all of this wasn't worth the trouble. I want you to be happy."

"What are you going on about?" Raihan said. "You think I don't know what I want?" He put his hands on Hop's upper arms and pulled him back enough so he could look at his face. "'Cause right now all I'm wanting is you."

Hop didn't resist or push back when he was kissed. He let out a slow breath and closed his eyes. Raihan's kisses were always searching and this one had a hint of hunger. Hop's body was answering to it like a call. It responded with a want that left his belly hollow inside, a desperate need to feel something good, to want without inhibitions.

At that moment, Leon couldn't have been any further in his mind. His heart beat faster, but out of adrenaline rather than nerves. Heat rose between them fast. Hop moved his hands from Raihan's chest to the back of his head where they buried themselves underneath his orange headband. Raihan purred against him, his arms locked around Hop's back.

"Babe, trust me, I haven't been able to get you off my mind for years, but I wasn't about to hurt you after what that son of a bitch did," Raihan said. "I don't wanna leave unless you get rid of me."

Hop unraveled when he started in on his throat. "Raihan..." He gasped when he felt the fang graze his skin. That blasted fake fang that felt real enough to devour his prey.

"Can I touch you again?" Raihan said. "We won't go all the way if you don't want to. You can tell me if you need to stop. I won't ask any questions."

Hop nodded. "Please, yes, Raihan."

"Lay down with me," Raihan said. He climbed further up onto the bed bringing Hop with him until they were laying against the pillows. By then, the heat in Hop's belly was insistent. When Raihan unzipped his hoodie, Hop ran his hands up his arms, feeling the muscles tensing and flexing underneath his fingers. Then their mouths were crushed together again.

As their fronts pressed together, the friction sent sparks down his front. Raihan skin was hot through their layers of fabric. Hop was sensitive enough that he was getting stiff already, as he always had, even when the sensations were unwanted. The difference was that every fiber of his body wanted Raihan's hands on him. He wanted them to set his nerves on fire, to savor how good it was until the growing itch was satisfied.

His shirt was lifted and pushed up until his torso was exposed and Raihan could map it out while he nibbled on Hop's collar bone. Fingers brushed over his nipples followed by a tongue, making him moan when it teased him. The sparks of desire shooting to his cock made his breath catch. His hips rolled into Raihan automatically, looking for any stimulation to relieve his sudden, intense need.

Raihan answered with a low grunt. He held Hop's waist, sliding along his skin, and pretty soon they were grinding against each other. Hop's legs parted and wrapped around Raihan's hips. Sounds left his throat that he didn't know he could make.

"Fuck, baby, you're so beautiful," Raihan ground out. "You think I wanna bail on you? You'll have to break my heart first."

Hop was ashamed that he once thought Raihan was shallow, someone who used someone for pleasure and threw them away, the sort of playboy who appeared in tabloids now and then with a new set of rumors to his name. And maybe Raihan did sleep around from time to time, but right now he didn't seem to be giving Hop anything less than his heart.

Hop wondered, deliriously, if it was true that dragons mated for life when they were ready.

"This f-feels so good," Hop managed. "Raihan, please."

"Want me to make it better? We can cum together. I won't go inside, but I can hold us both at the same time," Raihan said.

"Please," Hop said, gripping onto Raihan's shoulders, his back, wherever he could reach. Through the pleasured fog in his head, he registered his pants being undone and pulled down just enough so his hardness was released. As promised, a huge, warm hand closed around him (those long fingers had their uses) and he was being ground against Raihan's cock.

"Oh-Oh, Rai," he gasped. His hips rocked into the grip, picking up Raihan's rhythm. There was so much fire, so much want. When he raised his face, Raihan clamped their mouths together. Hop whimpered into him and their tongues danced.

It was at some point when strong fingers spread across his ass and began kneading him that he felt his orgasm creeping.

"R-Rai, I'm close," Hop said.

"Good, cum with me," Raihan said.

Hop cupped his hands around Raihan's neck and kissed him, only parting when the pleasure built to the point of bursting and he moaned. He gasped around the feeling shooting through his limbs, a heady crescendo. Raihan snarled into his skin. The mess they made between them was impressive, but Hop's bones were melted too much to care. So they just laid together, breaths intermixing as they came down from the high.

For a long minute, they stayed like that, the heat slowly dissipating until Hop could think again.

"Fuck, Hop," Raihan said. "That's...fuck..."

Hop smiled, his face flushed. Fatigue was already settling into the point it was hard to keep his eyes open.

"G-Give me a second, then I'll clean up," Raihan said. "Can't move."

"Can't or don't want to?" Hop murmured sleepily.

"Both, I'm gonna go with both," Raihan said.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night Hop never thought he would experience and a face he never thought he'd seen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Consensual sexy times, ptsd, panic attacks, past noncon ment, past domestic abuse ment.
> 
> Check out some AMAZING art for the last chapter from LoveKiku92!!
> 
> https://twitter.com/LoveKiku92/status/1276096058481733632?s=19

It was the final night before Raihan was to return to Hammerlocke. Despite how much he liked to play hooky and take little impromptu vacations, he had gym leader duties to attend to that he couldn't put off any longer. Hop needed to return to the lab, update Sonia on the progress of his tests, same old, same old. Time went on, even if Hop just wanted to capture some moments into a capsule and live in them forever, letting the rest of the world just melt away. 

Like this moment, for instance, laying with Raihan in his bed, listening to the rain on the window, and the occasional rumble of thunder. Raihan was on his back with Hop fitted against his side, nearly on top of him, with his cheek on a broad chest, tracing random patterns on Raihan's shirt. 

There was no pull for them to do anything, nothing demanding their attention. He caught a glimpse of why Raihan liked to live in the present. Hop had spent so many years dwelling in the past, for good reason, yes, but being able to be freed from that for a little while was a sweet reprieve. Thinking of the future only brought the reminder that they would be away from each other for some days.

Hop didn't want that. He didn't want Raihan to leave because he was _falling in love_ with him. Actually, he'd probably crossed that line already. At what point was he done falling and just 'in love'? Furthermore, should he tell Raihan that he loved him romantically and when should he do it? He had no idea; he was in foreign territory with no map and had nothing but a thimble to defend himself.

Leon sure told Hop that he loved him an awful lot as if hoping that if he said it enough times, it would meet some quota and change Hop's feelings. It was still Hop's point of reference and he _hated_ that. He hated that this thing with Raihan was his first remotely healthy romantic relationship and that Raihan was forced to help him learn what was okay and what to expect.

This was one of those thoughts his therapist told him to challenge, right? It was like she said, Raihan had never once complained that he was in the position of being Hop's first legitimate boyfriend. He knew what Hop went through and what he was getting himself into. Hop wasn't keeping him here (not locking him up), he could leave if he wanted to. But here he was, holding Hop close, having joked with him all evening about what Goodra jelly would taste like. Just the other night, he straight up told Hop that he didn't want to leave unless Hop broke up with him first.

And...Hop didn't want to do that. He was happy. He was so happy. For the first time, he wasn't anxiously waiting for the other shoe to drop, for things to come crumbling down. He could just exist and enjoy himself. For once.

While he was turning all of this over in his head, his hand had wandered further until he felt the pads of his fingertips brush over one of Raihan's nipples underneath his shirt. A little heat dusted across his cheeks, but he didn't pull away, rather he lingered over the spot, gently tracing the bud underneath until he felt it harden even through the fabric. 

There was a breathy sound above his head that disturbed some of his hair when Raihan exhaled. "I'm awake, you know. I can feel that."

"Hm, I wasn't sure," Hop said, not stopping with his tracing. When he shifted, it was just so he could move his hand to the other nipple. Soon enough, it formed an imprint through the fabric as well.

"Found something you like?" Raihan murmured. 

"I can stop if you want," Hop said.

"Told you you could do whatever you wanted to me," Raihan said. "'Sides, I wasn't complaining. But if you want an easier time of it, I can get this shirt out of the way."

Hop smiled against his chest, even planting a kiss there. "I might like that." He pulled away as Raihan moved to sit up so he could pull his shirt off and drop it over the side of the bed. When he laid back down, Hop was faced with his warm, exposed torso. More like a hot, bare torso really since it was Raihan's core that made the rest of his body like a furnace. That must have been the source of the dragon's fire.

Hop rested his head on bare skin and resumed his slow exploration of Raihan's chest. Raihan liked to touch him so much, but Hop hadn't taken the chance to do the same. He kissed a scar that looked as though it was given from a formidable set of claws. He felt bold that night, his fingers running over heated skin and a hardened belly, feeling Raihan's chest rise and lower with each breath he took and the strong heartbeat underneath his cheek. 

Raihan was watching him - Hop didn't have to look at his face to know that. With a flush filling his face, he swallowed and ran his tongue over one of Rai's nipples. A hand ran through his hair, combing his bangs back from his face. While it was true that Hop was feeling a bit braver that night, the truth was that he was still nervous as all hell being the one to instigate things. It didn't go as he copied what Raihan had done to him and wrapped his mouth around the bud. One of his hands trembled as it wandered lower, settling just over Raihan's navel. 

He moved up to kiss Raihan's clavicle and felt a large had run down his back, settling on the lower curve. By then, his heart was thumping as fast as a Buneary's as he hesitated and kissed the junction of Raihan's neck and shoulder.

"You're going into dangerous territory, luv," Raiham said, a rough edge to his voice. "Once you kiss my neck, you wake up the Dragon Pulse."

Hop finally let his gaze trail upward where they met Raihan's keen eyes. He could feel the weight of the truth to Raihan's words, a mix between playful and serious that bewitched the senses. It was probably easy for him to seduce anyone he wanted to like that. Hop suddenly felt the gap in their experience levels and his nerves tightened. 

"What if...What if I want that…?" Hop said, albeit looking down shyly.

Raihan cocked his head a little. "Depends. What do you have in mind?" He touched the collar of Hop's sleeping shirt, running his touch up to his cheek. 

Hop bit his lip for a moment. He'd been thinking it over all these days and nights having Raihan here, safe and cared for in his presence. He made Hop feel things he'd never felt before, helped him learn that pleasure could be good, _so good._ He'd never felt so alive with desire before as if Raihan was single-handedly rewriting every horrible thing Leon had done to him. 

"I-I…" Hop began, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He'd even thought about what he wanted to say, but when it came time to actually say it, he was stammering. "I want to...try having sex with you."

Raihan's thumb gently circled his cheekbone. "You could argue we already have."

Hop took a breath. "W-Well, yeah, I suppose so. But I mean...I want to feel you...i-inside me."

Still holding Hop's face, Raihan silently roved his eyes over his features before sitting up. "You know we don't have to pack every kind of sex there is into one weekend, right?"

Heat gushed across Hop's face. "I-I know that." He just didn't want to lose his nerve between when Raihan left and the next time they got together. "We don't have to if you don't want to."

"You think I don't _want_ to?" Raihan said. He took Hop's waist in both hands and brought him closer. "Trust me, baby, you won't have to worry about me being ready. I'm more worried about you."

Hop rested his hands on Raihan's bare shoulders and slid them further so they were wrapped around his neck. "You're the only one I've felt ready to do it with up until now." He hadn't really been thinking about sex when he still had his crush on Gloria, after all; it was more like puppy love.

The rain on the window cast little shadows over their skin from the streetlights below. There were little rumbles of thunder over the city. Raihan reached up and rubbed the nape of Hop's neck. "Promise you're not tryin' to rush yourself?"

"I promise," Hop murmured before being brought in for a slow kiss. He opened his mouth to deepen it and shifted closer to Raihan. Everything was warm and comfortable with a ripple of ease that spread from their lips through the rest of him. The little wet noises between their mouths made Hop sigh. 

Raihan pulled back just far enough so he could talk but his warm breath could still be felt. "Listen, I've thought about this in case we got this far. Tryin' to figure out a way for you to tell me if you need to slow down but can't for some reason - I won't judge." He stroked Hop's back in easy circles. "There's a color system that's used in a lot of places for people who like to explore their kinks. Now, you and I don't have to do the freaky stuff if you don't want, but we can steal their system."

Hop glanced away from Raihan's eyes and swallowed. "You...like that kind of thing, right? I don't know i-if I can now, but I don't want you to get...bored or something if we keep doing this, I mean."

Raihan laughed through his nose and leaned in to tuck his face next to Hop's so he could plant a couple of kisses beneath his ear and over his neck. "To me, it's like the spice you put on curry - makes it interesting if you're in the mood. In your case, though, I'm just fine eating it plain."

Hop closed his eyes as Raihan nibbled here and there on his throat. "Ah...okay, if...you're sure." Raihan's hands went lower to cup Hop's ass through his pants, making his breath catch in his throat. 

"That's right, I was telling you about the colors," Raihan said against his skin. He leaned up. "If you wanna let me know how you're doing, you can tell me that you're green, yellow, or red. Green's for all good, yellow is for slow down or you're kinda iffy on something, and red's for stop. You say red, I'll stop, no waffling about it. You understand?"

Hop nodded. "Y-Yeah."

"Then say it back to me."

Hop blushed and cleared his throat. "Green's for all good, yellow's for slow down, red is for stop."

"Good," Raihan said. "And you're not gonna be shy about telling me which one you are, neither. I'll ask you what your color is from time to time."

"Okay," Hop said, glancing up at Raihan with lidded eyes.

"Do you have any lube?" Raihan said. "I've got some lotion in my bag, but it's not as good as the real stuff."

"Here," Hop said, pulling away to reach over to his nightstand. He'd bought a bottle a while ago when he needed something to help when he was stiff in the morning and needed to rub a quick one out to get it over with. Raihan took it from him and set it nearby before pulling him close again and working his shirt off. He turned them and guided Hop onto his back against the pillows as he kissed him.

He straddled Hop, propping himself up with his arms as he kissed him from his mouth and down to his throat where he found a tempting spot to suck. His would be the kind of marks Hop would love to wear, to catch glimpses of in the mirror while he was at work to remind him of a sexy night. That he'd actually enjoyed, that is.

Hop ran his hands over Raihan's shoulders as his breathing deepened. His boyfriend's long body fit so well on top of his own now that he was a little taller. Not to say it wouldn't have when they first met, just in a different way. But back during the gym challenge, Hop hadn't been thinking about Raihan in that way. They had a lot of ground to cover if they were going to make up for lost time. He felt the lightest scratch from Raihan's fang and sighed.

"How're you doing, babe?" Raihan said,

"I'm fine," Hop murmured. "It feels good."

Raihan hummed and kissed his way downwards across Hop's belly until he ran into the waistband of his pants and paused. Even then, it was only to shift downwards and nuzzle his groin through the fabric while his fingers played with the elastic of the waistband. Hop's face heated with a little embarrassment, but he let out a small, breathy groan when he felt Raihan's tongue trace the shape of his length through his pants.

"If I take these all the way off, what's your color going to be?" Raihan said.

"Green..." Hop said. He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth as he watched Raihan move above him. When he felt his pants sliding over his hips, he lifted up a little to make it easier. Raihan worked them off of his legs and feet and dropped them onto the floor.

"There we go," Raihan said, his eyes lidded as he took all of Hop in at once. Hop averted his eyes to the window; it was different when it was him and not Leon. The hunger in Leon's eyes had been predatory and would often trigger something like the fight-or-flight response, particularly after Leon forced him more than once. That was what used to make Hop seize up underneath his brother, the disturbing knowledge that his once kind brother was looking at him like a piece of meat ready to be devoured and then didn't care if Hop was uncomfortable. He kept taking no matter what Hop said, no matter how much he begged until there was no point anymore.

It was ironic that the hunger in this dragon's eyes was less threatening than his brother's had been. Raihan moved Hop's legs apart so he could sit in between them and kissed the skin around his navel. "You're beautiful, baby."

"Look who's talking," Hop said. He had the body of a scientist and a scholar. Not much need for toned muscles when you sat in a lab behind a desk for most of the day. Any physique he gained from his gym challenge that didn't atrophy when Leon locked him away in a room for weeks melted off during his studies. Meanwhile, while Raihan wasn't ripped like Leon, he had an awful lot to be proud of. He was hard in all the places Hop was softer.

"I'm talking, and I still say you're fuckin' beautiful," Raihan said. He ran his hands across Hop's thighs and kissed down one of the hip lines that lead to his crotch. Hop's prick had taken notice of Raihan's attentions and was interested in where this was going as it twitched when he moved closer.

"'S it alright if I use my mouth?" Raihan said, glancing up at Hop's face, which was well and truly hot.

"Y-Yeah..." Hop said, breathlessly, then he gasped when Raihan didn't waste another moment before taking him in hand and guiding the length inside his mouth. "Rai- Ahhh..." It didn't take long for him to get a full erection with the way Raihan sucked and licked around him. Hop grabbed a corner of the pillow underneath his head and fisted the other hand into the bedsheets. His eyes went from watching Raihan's head bob steadily over him to fixing themselves on the ceiling because he thought the sight might make him come too fast.

Then he felt Raihan's tongue flick over his balls and his back arched while he gave a choked groan. "Ohhh, Rai, that's..."

"Oh yeah? What's your color, then?" Raihan asked, looking up at Hop through lidded eyes. 

"Green...!" Hop gasped out. He almost let out a little whine at the loss of Raihan's mouth. "Please..."

He didn't have to say another word before Raihan was on him again. Even after the shortness of the pause, the sensations were sharper, his cock more sensitive. Raihan had flattened his tongue against his shaft as he bobbed up and down on him. Gasps worked their way out of his throat the longer he was handled, except for the one that caught when Raihan delicately ran his fingers over the sack underneath. 

Hop fairly whimpered at the feel of it. He began to make shallow thrusts into the wet warmth of Raihan's mouth. Raihan fairly purred around him, the vibrations going straight to the base of his shaft. By then, he was fully hard. The blood that wasn't collected in his groin made his face turn a heated red. 

Blindly, he reached down to settle his hand on Rai's head, found his headband, and tugged on that lightly. The chuckle Raihan made around him made him moan. Then, he felt himself slide from Raihan's mouth and he shuddered. "W-Wai-..."

He saw Raihan lick his lips, taking up the bottle of lube and smearing a glob on his fingers. Hop swallowed in anticipation and spread his legs a little further. The air had grown too cold by the time Raihan came back to hover over him. 

"Easy does it, babe," Raihan murmured. His fingers curled around Hop's prick and he gave the head a soothing lick that made Hop's legs tremble. His eyes rolled back and his fingers clutched into his pillow with renewed force and Raihan slid him back into his mouth and towards his throat. 

"Rai... _Rai_..." The act of starting and stopping just worked to make the waves of pleasure build faster. Raihan knew that, using it to play with him. That it felt so damn good was cruel. 

It was while Raihan was circling the head of his prick with the tip of his tongue that Hop felt a couple of fingers prod at the entrance to his body. The moan he'd been letting out caught, his body instinctively seizing up. It happened automatically, like a Yamper trained to come for food at the sound of a bell. 

"Breathe, now," Raihan lifted his head up to say. Hop took in a shuddering breath, willing his muscles to relax. Slowly, almost reluctantly, they did. With another breath, he felt a finger slide in up to the knuckle. He'd felt it all before, it wasn't _new_ , but it made him tense all the same. Hop gritted his teeth in frustration. He'd been able to finger himself in the shower, why was this suddenly difficult?

But the undertone of apprehension he felt roiling in his chest probably answered that question. Because having someone inside of him meant pain, revulsion, and fear. No matter how he tried to push it away, it was there, like the drone of the steam engines in Motostoke, always present no matter where you were in the city. It wasn't what Hop wanted; he wanted to think of safety when he was with Raihan. 

"You're tightening up," Raihan said. "What's your color?"

"G-Gre-..." Hop bit his lip. 

"Hey, be honest, babe," Raihan said, softly. "You ain't gonna hurt my feelings."

Hop's eyes fell shut, his hand coming up to hide his face as he stared out the window again. The rain was still coming down with thunder rolling over the city. 

"I- ah..." he stammered. "Y-Yellow."

The finger slid out of him. "Okay. We'll warm you up a bit more."

"I'm sorry," Hop said. It somehow felt like he was losing a battle.

"Don't apologize," Raihan replied. "We're doing it this way for a reason."

That didn't stop the embarrassment from gushing to his face and neck. No matter what Raihan said, he couldn't shake the impression that he was failing at something that should have been second nature. 

Raihan dropped a kiss to his navel and took him in hand again, making him shiver. "You wanna keep going? You've got nothing to prove to me，luv."

"I know," Hop whispered. "I want to do this, though." As much as he tried to, he couldn't ignore the nasty, insistent voice in the back of his mind telling him to _just get over it_. The past was over and done with, he should just move on, he was making a big deal out of nothing, he was letting Leon win.

 _Win what?_ He wanted to ask himself. _This wasn't a fucking Pokemon battle._

The warmth from the palm of Raihan's hand seeped into his cock. For a blissful moment, the berating voice stopped. Hop moaned softly at the feel. His body hadn't forgotten the pleasure through the uneasiness and it was eager for it to resume. The pleasure was good, inviting; it didn't drag bad memories to the forefront. Raihan leaned up to kiss the corners of his mouth. 

"Let me make you come like this and we'll try again," Raihan whispered, to which Hop nodded wordlessly. A little precum had leaked out of the tip of his cock. Raihan collected it and smeared it over the rest of him with the lube still covering his fingers. His slick strokes sent shivers up and down Hop's spine. Ecstasy built in his belly again. He held on to Raihan's shoulders as he was kissed again. His orgasm was creeping as he moaned into Raihan's mouth, their tongues sliding together. He thrust evenly into the circle of Raihan's hand. 

At some point when his peak came into view, he felt Raihan trade hands on his cock so he could rub his entrance with the lubed fingers. Hop gasped, his hips instinctively pressing against him, now _wanting_ the intrusion. His body accepted the first finger all the way in without much resistance. 

"Rai...Rai, I can f-feel you," Hop said. 

"Just relax, babe, I've got you," Raihan said. He had a little tightness since it'd been so long since he took anything inside, but he was loosening up quickly enough to take a second finger. Raihan lifted one of his knees over his elbow to get better access as he added a third and scissored apart his inner walls. 

Then he crooked his fingers a few times, rubbing into the muscles, and found the spot that made Hop see stars. "Ngh! Rai-han! Ah!" Raihan kept pressing his prostate through Hop's orgasm, even when it made Hop's body jerk from the overstimulation. He spilled over his own belly as well as Raihan's hand before sinking down into the haze of orgasm where any thought and fear faded. 

"Alright, I'm gonna get ready," Raihan said, his voice low with his own arousal. 

Hop was vaguely aware of him moving, pulling his hands away while Hop went limp like a puddle of jelly. He took off his pants and slicked himself up with more lube. Hop's eyes fell shut as he panted. A pair of large hands gently took his hips and lifted him until his thighs were settled over Raihan's, spread apart to allow the thick body between them.

"That's it, baby," Raihan murmured. He kissed Hop's jaw, giving his chin a gentle nick with his fang and making Hop gasp. "Almost there...You're doing good."

_You're doing so good, Hop._

The pleasant fog in his brain suddenly turned cold and he gave a choked gasp. His legs tensed around Raihan's torso. His orange headband tickled Hop's nose as he continued kissing around and over his pulse. The aftershocks of orgasm still rang in Hop's body, but now it was overshadowed by the all too familiar feeling of uncertainty and dread. Suddenly, it felt like he wasn't taking in enough air. His mind screamed at him to make _space_ , to be alone because something painful and frightening was about to happen and he didn't want to go through it again.

The urge only amplified when he felt the tip of a swollen cock at his entrance, about to push against him, into him. Leon's hands slid up his sides and then back down to settle on either side of his waist. Hop seized up underneath him, most of his muscles tensing at once, getting ready for the invasion. It was going to hurt. It always did, but Leon would keep going. Hop survived it before, he could again. The trick was just to stay still and not fight. If he fought, Leon turned cruel. If Hop just did what he said, it would be over with faster. Hop usually gleaned some twisted, revolting pleasure from it anyway.

"Hey...Hop?"

Don't answer, don't struggle. Don't say anything unless he was spoken to. If he said the wrong thing, Leon would get angry. His eyes slammed shut.

"You're stiff as a board and not in the good way. What's your color right now?"

Color? What color?

Hop just focused on sucking air in and out of his lungs. His vision was blurry, even when he tried to blink away whatever it was affecting him. He could make out the face that hovered over him, but it took far too long for his brain to associate it with Raihan when it was expecting Leon's chiseled features and long, purple hair.

It wouldn't matter what he said in response to that strange question. _Leon was going to fuck him whether Hop wanted him to or not._ It was only a matter of time. It was too late to back out now. A warm hand cupped the side of his face and Hop tensed, fully expecting it to clamp down over his mouth before he could say anything to piss Leon off. 

"Hop, what's your color?" The tone was more clearly enunciated, but not quite angry. It still sent a chill down Hop's spine because Leon had always sounded kind and patient too before doing whatever the fuck he wanted.

Deciding that answering was probably the best way to pacify Leon right then, he sucked in a breath and stuttered, "I-I don't know." It was probably not the right thing to say. Leon would get mad at the _sound of his voice_ and accuse him of beating around the bush or trying to get out of being fucked. 

"Well, we're stopping here, then." The large, heated body over him began to pull away, leaving the cool air of the apartment to make Hop's sweating form shiver. As soon as the space between his thighs was empty, his legs drew together reflexively. His hands curled against his chest. What was going on? Was this some trick; was Leon trying to test if he would stay put or try to escape? Hop wouldn't put it past him. He just wanted Leon to get it over with so he would stop touching him.

He said that, but...

"Breathe, in and out, nice and slow." Warm hands gripped his own gently, much of the tension in him beginning to leech away. "Relax, luv. We don't have to keep going."

Hop found himself shaking his head, but he didn't know why. His eyes lowered from the ceiling to the face above him. He had such a gentle voice. It couldn't be Leon. Leon would have told Hop that he was being overdramatic. If he went along, he would enjoy it. He came _every time_ they made love, after all. 

He blinked and felt tears roll down his cheeks. He shivered, but his hands weren't shaking as much as they were. 

"Raihan," he whispered. 

"I'm right here," Raihan said. It wasn't Leon. Leon was gone. The blurriness was gone from Hop's vision so that he could see Raihan's soft smile - the same one he wore when he rescued Hop from Leon's apartment. Hop let out a tiny sob and Raihan wiped the tears off his cheeks.

"You're not going to do it?" Hop said, incredulously. 

"You tensed up real bad," Raihan said. "If you're scared, we'll stop."

Hop could hardly believe his ears. Rai's words were like sweet, foreign music. Leon had said Raihan was worse than him, that he wouldn't stop, not even if Hop was bleeding and begging him to. That was all a lie...

Of course, it was. Most of the things Leon said during the last few months Hop was with him were bullshit.

"I'm s-sorry," Hop said, his lip trembling.

"Hey now, don't apologize," Raihan said. "You can say 'no' whenever you want. If the person with you is worth a damn, they'll stop." He fell silent, watching Hop's face. Then, he said more quietly, "But I'll bet he never stopped, did he?"

Another sob escaped Hop's chest. Not trusting himself to speak, Hop just shook his head a minuscule amount. Raihan muttered some colorful curses under his breath and then moved away to swing his legs over the side of the bed. He retrieved his underwear and sweatpants from the floor and began pulling them on. 

"Wh-What are you doing?" Hop said. He leaned upon elbows that suddenly felt too weak. "You're not mad at me, are you? Please...don't be mad."

Raihan froze and looked over at him with a pained expression. "No, no, luv. I could never be mad at you." He stared down at the space on the bed between them. "...If anything, I should be the one apologizin' to you."

Goose flesh has prickled up on Hop's arms. He pulled the blanket over himself. "Why? Y-You stopped when I..." 

A bitter smile appeared on Raihan's lips. "It was because of me that you had to stay with that son of a bitch as long as you did," he said. "I coulda investigated as soon as I thought something was up. When he started cutting both of you off from the world, I thought it was weird. Our playboy former champ, holing himself up in his apartment with his younger brother. The way he made it sound, it was like you were on the run from your family."

Hop clutched his hands together. If only their family _had_ bothered to look for them and found out what was actually going on. 

But he was probably kidding himself with that thought. Their mum didn't help him when she clearly saw Leon taking advantage of him in their home. There was no way she would lift a finger to save him all the way in Wyndon.

"H-He was doing his best to keep everything a secret," Hop said. "I didn't think anyone would be able to help, anyway. What are the chances they would believe my word over his?...I couldn't even save myself."

Raihan frowned and reached over to take Hop's hand. "Listen. It's hard to fight when someone has you under their thumb like he did, 'specially if they're family. I know that more than I should..." He said that last part more quietly as if more to himself than to Hop. "You endured it. That's bloody amazing if you ask me."

Hop stared down at their clasped hands. He ran his thumb over Raihan's knuckles. "You saved me when I didn't have any hope left. I-I thought Leon and I were going so far away, I would never see anyone ever again. I thought that was going to be my life. If it weren't for you..." He worried at his lip. "I'd still be with him someplace like Kanto or Sinnoh or what-have-you... I don't know if there would be anything left of me to save." 

He took Raihan's hand in both of his. Hop's were still smaller, but not quite as they had been a few years back. "I needed you, Rai, and you came for me when you did. That's all that matters. And..." His eyes came up and met Raihan's, his voice quivering. "You're here now. You treat me like I'm...still worth something even though you know what he did to me."

"Ah, Hop..." Raihan cupped his jaw and shifted so he could lean over to him more comfortably. "You can't put a price on a person. Even if you could, you'd be priceless."

Heat gushed to Hop's face, but he couldn't help but laugh through his nose. "You're such a codswallop."

"But it's true. You know it," Raihan said. Seeing Hop smile seemed to put him in a better mood. 

Hop settled a hand over Raihan's where it still held his jaw and then moved closer so that he could bring their lips together. He could feel Raihan sigh softly and then gently coax Hop's mouth open so they could deepen the kiss. It wasn't heated, though there was warmth; rather, they just took their time exploring each other's mouths. 

By the time they separated, Hop's lips felt tender and it was quite nice. One of his hands rested on Raihan's collar bone, his eyes falling to his fingers and then tracing the curve of Raihan's firm belly downwards to the elastic of his pants.

"Are you...still hard?" Hop asked. He could see a bulge, but it had obviously gone down a bit.

"Well...not like I was before," Raihan said. "I'll take care of it. You don't need to bother."

The thought of Raihan 'taking care of it' made Hop's face heat up again. He would probably just go take a shower and jerk himself off. Those long fingers had a strong grip, Hop knew. 

"I can...help if you'd like," Hop said, quietly.

Raihan peered down at him, surprised. "You don't need to, really, 'specially not after all that."

Hop shook his head. "It's okay. I want to." His hand trailed down the same path that his eyes had taken a moment before until he settled over Raihan's crotch. Raihan watched its progress all the while. "Is it alright?"

Raihan's gaze flicked up to him. "Good with me." 

More heat blossomed over Hop's face. He curled his fingers over Raihan before slipping his fingers inside the elastic. Raihan let out a slow breath when Hop's fingertips touched his length. He was half-staffing it after the seriousness of their conversation, but as Hop stroked him, it came back to life. He had done this before, bringing Raihan to his climax with his hand alone, but he had something a bit different in mind. 

"Can you take off your pants?" Hop said. 

Raihan wasted no time doing just that. Hop leaned up to kiss him and then pressed his chest until he was lying flat on his back with his head against the pillows. Hop moved back until he could straddle Raihan's knees. He took the cock in front of him in hand and took to stroking it in earnest until it was well and truly stiff again. Raihan's low growl made Hop dizzy. His thumb swept over the dark, rosy head, paying special attention to the slit. The resulting grunt was lovely.

"Is it okay if I use my mouth?" Hop asked. 

Raihan's eyebrows rose and his eyes were lidded with lust. "It's all yours, baby."

The delirious thought occurred to him that this would be his first time sucking someone off. Surprisingly, Leon had never made Hop do it to him. It was still something of Hop's that hadn't been taken away. He could give to Raihan what Leon never received. 

With that in mind, he held the shaft and put his lips around the head. He heard Raihan give a breathy, drawn-out, "F-uuuck," which made him snicker inwardly. It was slightly salty, he noted as he lowered his head and took more in. Raihan was longer than Leon had been and Hop knew enough about his gag reflex to tell he wouldn't be able to take it all in, but his hands worked the parts of the shaft that he couldn't get his mouth around. 

He felt fingers run through his hair and trace down the shell of his ear. If the low rumbles and groans coming from Raihan were any indication, Hop was doing very well. He laved his tongue around the head before creating a gentle suction and bobbing his head up and down. It was his first time doing this to someone else, but he had it done to him enough that he knew what would feel good. He peered up at Raihan's face and saw that his pupils had dilated. His free hand was fisted in the sheets. 

"...Feels...You feel so..." Raihan said. His voice had an edge as he stared down at Hop, who created a tighter suction around the head. Raihan's eyes slid shut and his head tipped back. "Arceus, Hop...Oh, fuck."

Hop pulled off of his cock, letting his lips drag a bit, shivering at the low whine from the loss of his mouth. He ran his tongue from the base to the tip, tracing the prominent vein as he did so and then did the same thing with the other side. Raihan's fingers had tangled with his hair, but he didn't take any actions to try to push Hop's head down or pull on his roots.

Hop took a deep breath and then brought his mouth back down while his hands lightly twisted around the base of the shaft. He felt Raihan jerk underneath him. "Ohhh-! That's it, baby. That's good- that's bloody good."

So, Hop kept doing just that, moving faster until his neck threatened to cramp up, but he couldn't stop. Raihan was making the most beautiful noises as he gasped for breath.

"Babe, I'm gonna- fucking come," Raihan managed. Based on the desperate bucking of his hips, he was telling the truth. Not long after that, his entire body tensed and he threw back his head with a snarl. As much as he wanted to swallow, Hop coughed when the first shot of cum hit the back of his throat and he leaned back, sputtering. A line was painted across his cheek and down his hand.

When Raihan finally had a chance to breathe, he managed to say, "Sor- Fuck! Sor-ry." He reached over to take Hop's arm as his high faded. Hop was caught between coughing and snorting with a little laugh. He didn't know why he laughed; maybe there wasn't a reason at all. Maybe he was just happy to blow someone he was in love with.

Breathing heavily, Raihan grabbed a tissue and sat up to wipe Hop clean. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Hop said. He'd calmed down with a flush on his cheeks. "Was it good?"

Raihan kissed his cheek. "Incredible. Come here." He took Hop in his arms and laid back on the mattress so that he was draped over him. Hop could feel Raihan's heartbeat through his cheek. They were back in pretty much the same position as they were at the beginning of the night, sans clothes. Hop pulled his blanket over them so they wouldn't catch a chill.

Thunder grumbled overhead to accompany the sound of their breathing. Hop's eyelids felt heavy. They weren't able to do exactly as Hop hoped, but he was satisfied. They had all the time they needed, after all. Raihan was right, there was no need to rush things.

After a long moment, Hop sighed and buried his face in Raihan's chest. "I hate to say it, but I gotta use the loo."

Raihan snickered and patted his rump. "Gotta do what you gotta do."

~

Hop saw Raihan off from the train station at ten in the morning before he was to board a train himself. Raihan was head north to Hammerlocke whole Hop was bound south for Wedgehurst. Sonia had called him, asking him to come by as there was something that needed his attention. For the life of him, he couldn't get her to elaborate. 

When the northbound train pulled in, Hop kissed Raihan goodbye. "Text you later, luv." With a final coo down at Applin and a wink to Hop, he boarded the train and was gone. Hop smiled wistfully to himself as he watched the train cars disappear down the tracks. 

"Alright, let's go see what's so important," he told Applin. There was a half-hour wait for the next train to Wedgehurst. For some reason, Hop found himself getting apprehensive. Sonia wasn't usually so tight-lipped about what was going on. She'd been an open book ever since she started researching the Darkest Day. 

He had Zacian and Trevenant with him that day; he traced the designs on their Pokeballs in his belt holder. Pokemon past a certain height and weight weren't allowed to free roam on the train, but having them close by seemed to give him strength.

By the time they pulled into Wedgehurst station, he was restless. His leg kept bouncing on its heel as he scrolled through his phone, not really paying attention to anything he read.

Luckily, Sonia's lab was literally just over the main road. When he left the station, he was struck with the desire to have a Pokemon with him, so he let Trevenant out of its ball. It stretched out its creaking limbs and groaned to him in greeting. It moved slowly, but Hop got the impression that it was always absorbing its surroundings, always watching with its single, glowing eye. 

With Trevenant in tow, Hop led the way to the lab. He'd texted Sonia when he was pulling in to let her know he was there. He was wearing one of his white lab jackets and the day was warm, but there was a chill along his skin that he didn't like. 

A couple of Sonia's assistants who recognized greeted him courteously and indicated that Sonia was in the staff lounge down the hall that led behind the alcove that housed the huge, glass atrium in the center of the lab. 

With his heart pounding unpleasantly for a reason he couldn't name, Hop headed on back. Sonia opened the door to the lounge just as he was coming down the hall. She looked relieved when she saw him.

"Oh, Hop, thanks gods," she said. "I'm sorry to call you so suddenly like that but she just showed up and wouldn't leave until I got you here."

Hop's brow furrowed. "What? Who just showed up?"

It was then that he felt Trevenant's presence behind him go stiff. Moving faster than Hop had ever seen it move, it clattered around him on its trunk-like legs and stretched itself out so that it filled up the entirety of the hall. Its leaves and branches filled out until there was no way to get past it. 

"Trevenant? What are you doing?!" Hop said. He could just barely see underneath one of its arms to Sonia. Then, he heard Trevenant growl, a long, creaking growl that meant something was very, very wrong. The presence of its anger made the lights embedded in the hall ceiling flicker and dim. 

"Listen, please," Sonia told Trevenant. "I-It'll be okay. Hop, why is it acting like this?"

"I have no idea," Hop said. He put a hand on its bark, intending to say something soothing, but another sound interrupted him. Something small and purple skittered from around Sonia's legs, climbed Trevenant like a scratching pole, and then leaped into Hop's arms, purring up a storm. 

Purrloin. 

And she was so happy to see him. She rubbed her face against his, mewling with joy. It was their Purrloin; his family's. Hop knew it immediately - Purrloin had spent the majority of her nights curled up on his bed growing up, after all.

This...this couldn't be who Sonia was talking about. Hop slowly looked up at her to find her face filled with an embarrassed flush. 

"Sonia?" he said.

"...Hop?" came a feminine voice that most certainly was _not_ Sonia. The door to the lounge opened further. Hop felt all color drain from his face as his innards turned to ice. 

"Mum," he breathed.

She looked much the same as she had since the last time he saw her, only now more stress lines were etched into her face. Her wide, golden eyes welled up with tears when she caught sight of him through Trevenant's branches. She gasped, holding a hand over her mouth.

"You got so tall," she said, her voice breaking. 

Hop didn't reply - he _couldn't_ reply. Time had paused for him entirely. In front of him, Trevenant gave a low growl of warning. The last time Hop saw his mum, she'd slapped the everloving shit out of him because she walked in on Leon blowing Hop and assumed Hop had seduced her prized son into committing incest. 

Or some bullshit like that. It was the only explanation Hop ever managed to come up with that made a lick of sense. 

He needed her. She failed him. That was all that mattered. She could have saved him weeks of misery had she used her brain and realized Leon was the adult and therefore the only one fucking responsible for what they were doing. 

"Hop...please," Mum said. "I-I...need to talk to you."

She made to step forward, but Trevenant's branches shook. Sonia plastered herself against a wall, hiding her face as though she'd rather be anywhere else but there. She didn't know the specifics, only that Hop and his Mum were estranged from each other for some years.

"Why?" Hop heard himself say, mechanically. "What do you want?" Under any other circumstances, he would've been proud of how steady his voice was. 

"Someone called me from wherever they're holding him - Leon," she said, trembling. "They never told me where. I... I'm still listed as his beneficiary."

She was saying something else, but Hop's head filled with static. He wasn't ready for this. He wanted it all to be over. Why was this happening? Why did she think she could just come prancing back into his life as though they could just sit down to tea and talk insurance?

Where was Raihan? Hop needed Raihan there. 

"Hop?" Mum said. "I'm... I'm so sorry. Please..." Her voice cracked again through her tears. She made to come closer, but Trevenant's glare kept her at a distance. In the dim light, his crimson eye was the only light. "I've missed you so much."

Hop sucked in air. "You left me with him."

"Hop-"

"I can't do this now," Hop said. Not when he couldn't think clearly, while shock immobilized him.

"You might be the only son I have soon," Mum said. "Hop, please talk to me..."

Nausea lanced through Hop. He couldn't breathe. 

"I need to go," he whispered, to everyone and no one at the same time. He needed space to just- _think_. Or to freeze, whichever came first.

"Wait," Mum said. A sob escaped her as she reached out to him. "I'm so s-sorry."

Hop's stomach lurched. He stared straight in front of him, but it was a movement from Trevenant that broke him out of his haze. One of its branches had spiraled in on itself into a lance of sorts, one with a sharp point. It was held just out of range from what Mum would be able to see. The message was clear. Purrloin just stared in confusion before leaping down from Hop's arms and scurrying to his Mum's side.

Just _let_ her take another step.

"Go home, Mum," Hop forced out. "I'll call you when I'm ready."

"But, Hop-"

" _Go home_ , Mum." His legs were threatening to buckle like broken twigs. He couldn't stay there. There was a meeting room at his side. He turned the handle and pushed it open, just about staggering in. Trevenant withdrew from blocking off the hallway and swept in after him, letting the door fall shut. Hop had just enough mind to lock the door behind them.

And then he crumbled - just fucking fell to his knees, gasping for breath. His face was on fire but the rest of his body felt too cold. 

He felt arms around him, thick and slightly rough, but padded with moss. They gathered him back so he was leaning against Trevenant's trunk and held him there. Hop held onto the limbs like they were a lifeline. 

"I'm not ready," he gasped. "I can't."

Trevenant thrummed in response. It was a long, long time before either of them moved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't get no joy cause of ya'll  
> Ya'll never gettin' joy cause of me.
> 
> Twitter: @for_gotta  
> CuriousCat: for_gotta


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: mention of someone getting flambeed, description of past sexual assault, past rape ment, PTSD, dissociation,

Memories of Leon had the habit of creeping into every facet of Hop's life. He'd dream about that night in the tent on the Lake of Outrage, fighting tooth and nail only for his beloved brother to shove his face into the ground, pull down his pants, and shove his dry cock into him. When we woke up, he'd have to run to the bathroom in time to be sick in the toilet. 

It wasn't like he was free even after that. The feelings would still be there for the rest of the day, the ghost of Leon's hands on his thighs, the fear, the guilt and overwhelming self-disgust that came with the knowledge that all of that was his fault. If he was smart, he would call off from work. Other times, he told himself he could work through the anxiety only to shut himself in a bathroom stall shaking and gasping for breath.

But he was fine! He  _ needed _ to be fine. All of that was years ago. It was over. Why couldn't he  _ just get over it _ ?

The visions didn't just plague him while he was asleep. Sometimes they would intrude in his waking world. He was out at a park with Gloria and Raihan one moment and then, without remembering what triggered the nightmare, he was underneath Leon in Wyndon with his brother wiping Hop's own cum on his cheek to prove he'd enjoyed being fucked. 

Then he was on his back in the grass and staring up at the sky. There was a large, warm hand holding his face. He choked and slapped the arm away, yelling out, "Don't touch me!" 

When the world slowly came back into focus, Raihan was crouched down beside him with Gloria on Hop's other side, a hand covering her mouth with tears in her eyes. A couple of passersby stopped and watched which would have been embarrassing had Hop cared right then. 

The hand was Raihan's. He released Hop with unease and confusion mixed in his expression. 

Instead of getting angry, instead of yelling back that he was just trying to help, Raihan said, "Breathe, Hop. Do you know where you are?"

Hop didn't remember what was said after that or how long it took before he could finally stand and walk out of the park. That incident occurred only a few months out of being rescued from his captivity. Since then, he hadn't experienced a black-put dream during the day, but that was also the time when he realized he should probably get some help. He'd tracked down a therapist in Motostoke the following day. 

It also wasn't the last occasion when Raihan had to pull him out of a panic attack. Most of them were similar, hitting him out of the blue, triggered by a word, a phrase, or a gesture. Sometimes seeing Leon's face in a magazine was all that was needed to make the world spin again. Shame crawled along his skin when he realized what was happening because he convinced himself he was too weak and broken to heal from being raped properly. 

There was a proper way to heal, right? There had to be. People wrote entire books about their journey to recovery and finding peace. Hop just felt like he'd been dropped into the Wild Area without a map and no Pokemon.

If Raihan was there, his low voice would break through the fog, trying to guide him out. So calm, so patient. Never judging. Hop clambered to hang onto his every word. He never touched Hop again until the time Hop sweat kept stinging Hop's eyes and Raihan needed to hold his face still so he could dab at him with a damp rag. 

He could have slapped the hand away again, but he buried his cheek into Raihan's palm, almost nuzzling his wrist like the abused Yamper from the video Hop saw so long ago who learned that not every touch was agony.

When he finally peered up in a daze, he found Raihan giving him a gentle smile that made the chaotic static buzzing at the edges of his head fade away. 

Sometimes he wondered if he'd attached himself to Raihan to use him as some kind of big-brother replacement for Leon. Leon had been both an older brother to Hop and maybe somewhat of a father figure in the absence of their real father. He'd raised Hop for most of his childhood while Mum was still fawning over her Champion son. Grandpa would take Hop on his knee and tell him stories from time to time, sure, but his osteoporosis made daily life difficult and caring for a rugrat would be too much for him.

Within the space of a few months, Leon went from an older brother to a goddamn pervert trying to be Hop's lover. All too suddenly, Hop lost an anchor holding him to sanity. He'd lost all of his anchors, in fact. He didn't know if Mum ever told his grandparents what Leon and Hop were doing, but based on the fact that they never tried to contact him either, he had to assume she had. 

With Raihan and Gloria as his only family, he had just enough support so he didn't completely lose it once Leon was carted away. With such a huge void in his life, he needed them more than ever. It made him feel guilty in retrospect, but they never complained (at least to him, he didn't know about otherwise). Hop wondered...if they ever blamed themselves and that was the main reason why they stayed with them. 

That was absurd. If anyone should be blamed, it was him. They were all just tied up in a never-ending blame game.

Hop thought that all ended a long time ago, once he got therapy and things started to heal. But when Raihan confessed what he did during his last night in Motostoke, blame was very much still on his mind, all because he didn't take action sooner.

The idea had merit, but Hop never thought of it that way, too caught up as he was that he somehow started the whole thing by giving Leon the wrong idea. That was why he never asked for help because look what happened with Mum. If she turned her back on him, what hope did Hop have that Raihan, Leon's best friend, might believe that something sinister was going on?

Then Raihan turned out to be the one to save him while Mum went silent for years. And now she was back.

_ You might be the only son I have left soon. _

There were a handful of ways to take that, but seeing as Mum mentioned she was Leon's beneficiary, Hop had to admit that it meant Leon was...dying.

He was dying.

It was the first hint about his fate Hop had in years. Raihan was tight-lipped on the whole thing, reassuring Hop that he had nothing to worry about. Leon may as well have been dead that whole time and Hop would never know. 

This new information meant that Leon had been alive during the nights when Hop laid in bed, suffocating under the weight of his dreams. He was alive when Hop had his first date with Raihan, their first kiss. 

The part of Hop that turned to anger from paranoia and grief  _ wanted Leon to know _ that Hop was dating Raihan, that Raihan made him happy. Hop was in a relationship with Leon's former best friend and felt more alive than he  _ ever _ did when Leon forced him. He was happy...and it was because his brother was gone.

He should probably be ashamed at how much of a relief it was to confirm that Leon might be dead soon. Dead. Gone for good. Well...unless he turned into a ghost Pokemon, but Hop would tear off his own head if that happened. Or he could catch the ghost and do whatever he wanted with it.

How vindictive that sounded... Was Hop turning into a monster? If he was, it was only because the person he was in the past - that happy, carefree teenager with an innocent crush - died by Leon's hands. Killed. Smothered. Hop wasn't that defenseless kid anymore. He didn't spend years picking up the crumbs of his sanity for nothing.

So, it was bizarre when he dreamt of Leon again while he dozed off in Trevenant's arms. But this time things were happy. The pair of them were visiting Wyndon on holiday. Leon was playing hooky so he and Charizard could take Hop for a day on the town, getting ice cream, sneaking into the stadium. Everything was safe, everything was great, and all Hop could think was about how glad he was that all of that perverted, creepy stuff had just been a harmless nightmare.

And then he woke up to Sonia knocking on the door to the meeting room.

"Hop? Are you okay?" she said. "Your Mum left. I'm sorry, I had no idea things were that bad..."

"M'fine..." Hop mumbled just loud enough that Sonia would be able to hear on the other side of the door. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. Of course, it was a dream. Hop wasn't meant to have that kind of peaceful life.

"I-I've got a kettle on if you want a spot of tea," Sonia said. "We can talk too if you want. You can tell me anything."

Hop really didn't want to. What he wanted was to say here in the protective circle of Trevenant's branches, but he supposed he couldn't hide forever. He slowly pushed himself to his feet. Trevenant had been resting its trunk on the ground but stood on its legs as well. It gave a long, low creak of questioning.

"I'm fine, really," Hop murmured to it. He patted the side of its head reassuringly. "Thank you."

Its glowing eye closed in contentment. Hop turned to the door and unbolted it, his stomach sinking to the ground as he pulled it open. Sonia was playing with the curl at the end of her ponytail - her tic when she was either deep in thought or fidgety. With the look she gave him, Hop assumed he must not look too good.

"You don't look well at all, Hop," she said. "Are you sure..."

"I'm fine, everything's fine," Hop said without much life.

Sonia wasn't convinced in the slightest. "Let's go to the lounge and have a sit, shall we?" she said, nervously. 

Hop nodded and followed her with Trevenant close behind. While she went to make a couple of mugs of tea, he sank into one of the sofa chairs by the unlit fireplace. Everything he saw seemed to have a haze around it and his head was filled with cotton, unable to hold on to anyone thought for long before it slipped away like sand through his fingers. He plucked absentmindedly at a couple of errant bangs that fell over his forehead. 

At least, Sonia came over and set a mug on the coffee table in front of him before seating herself on the other side. She stared at her tea as she ran a finger around the rim of her cup. 

"I won't make you tell me what's going on. I know it's private but..." She worried her lip before continuing. "I've never seen you like that. Or this, for that matter. And what your Mum said about Leon..."

Hop didn't respond. His brain felt a million miles away. 

"He didn't just retire and move out of Galar, did he? That's the story, isn't it? But...I haven't heard from him in years, even though I've tried messaging him. He didn't ignore me like that even when he was Champion," Sonia said.

"No, he didn't retire," Hop found himself saying.

"So where is he, then?" Sonia asked, watching him with her strangely luminous eyes. 

"...I don't know." He half-expected her to argue and demand that he  _ must _ know where his own brother was, but she just let out a soft breath and fell silent. 

Hop took his mug from the coffee table and tried to take a sip. It was hot and burned his tongue. That didn't stop him from trying to drink again, though.

"He did something, didn't he? Something bad?" Sonia finally said.

Hop paused, his tongue prickling from the heat. "Yeah, he did."

"Do you...know what it was?" Sonia asked.

A laugh forced itself out of him, harsh and tinged with hysteria on the edges. Sonia flinched a little when she heard it. Hop covered his mouth with his hand as if to shove it all backdown. "Y-Yeah, yeah I do. I do." As Sonia stared at him, Hop finally regained control of himself and lowered his hand. "He hurt me. He fucking hurt me a lot."

He saw the thousands of questions that flashed across her face. She had a similar logical mind that he did which absorbed information and then tried to deduce answers when things didn't make sense.  _ How could he hurt you? He worshipped you... _ Hop could almost hear her thinking.

"...It doesn't matter anymore," Hop continued. "We probably won't see him again."

"Because he's..." Sonia swallowed. "Not doing too well either." 

Hop nodded. "Sounds like it."

"Do you think your Mum knows what's wrong?" she asked.

"Dunno, maybe."

"Does Raihan know?" 

Hop's gaze finally dragged upwards at the sound of that name, the only thing that managed to cut through the fog in his head. He was the third piece in their friend trifecta with her and Leon, after all. Of course, she would ask after him. "Probably. He's the one who got Leon hauled off."

Sonia's eyes widened as this was apparently the first time she heard this news. She set her cup on the coffee table and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I had no idea," she said. "How did I not know all this?"

"'Cause he kept it quiet and I didn't argue," Hop replied.

"...So what happens now?" Sonia said, glancing up at him. "Are you...going to see him?"

"No." Hop's answer was abrupt and curt, but he'd never been more sure of anything in his life. "I don't want to be anywhere near him again."

"Hop..." Sonia stopped whatever she was going to say at the look in Hop's eyes. A silence fell between them that may have been awkward, but Hop couldn't feel it. Emotions were hard to come by when his head was so cloudy.

This state was all too familiar considering he spent most of the time just like this in Leon's Wyndon apartment. It was a detachment from the world, even his own body. He was dissociating, which meant his mind was protecting itself after receiving a shock because the incident was too emotionally damaging to process right away - namely, his Mum popping up from out of the blue. And now this train of thought consisted of him trying to understand why he was feeling numb from a mental and physiological perspective because logic was the only thing he had left.

Arceus, no wonder people told him he overthought things.

He drained the rest of his tea and stood. "I should go back home."

"Wait, a-are you sure you're good to travel like this?" Sonia said, her frown creased with worry. "You can stay in Wedgehurst. We'll get you a hotel. There's this inn a couple of blocks into town that's really nice." She was speaking quickly now, trying to get through to him before he slipped out. "I-I just think you need some time off."

Hop was about to decline and claim he was fine again, but beside him, Trevenant creaked and gestured to Sonia. Of course, Hop wasn't the only one who had a shock that day. He was probably more exhausted than he realized if he'd fallen asleep in his embrace with Trevenant. He could probably stand to get some rest and let himself shut down for a while.

Especially if he was somehow going to gather the courage to call Mum as he said he was going to do. Just contemplating it gave him heart palpitations. So, he raised his face to Sonia and nodded slowly. "Okay...Probably not a bad idea."

~

The inn was a cozy bed and breakfast with vines growing up the stone wall and a flower bed in the place of a lawn. The older couple who owned it recognized Hop considering Wedgehurst was one of his regular haunts as a kid. Once they were done cooing over him and patting his hair, they insisted he put some Grepa berry pie in him and finally let him settle in his room. By then, it was early evening when he had arrived in Wedgehurst in the late morning.

He threw his bag and lab coat over the reading desk and collapsed onto his back on the bed. He opted to let poor Trevenant have a rest, which meant Zacian came out and curled around Hop protectively.

"We're in the middle of Wedgehurst in an inn and you think I still need an escort?" Hop said, to which Zacian gave a short snort.

His orange braids came up to wrap lazily around Hop's torso like an embrace and he stopped complaining. The sky was dark, the songs of bug Pokemon the only sound that cut through the thin fog. Hop was tired, exhausted even, but not sleepy. It was more like emotional fatigue. And here he thought he had a better constitution than this after all these years. He'd hoped it would take more than one visit from his Mum to break his composure.

The inn was styled after an old-fashioned Galarian villa, but it had a TV he hadn't thought to turn on as background noise. Just as he was about to reach for the remote to fill the unbearable silence, he felt his phone go off in his pocket. Raihan's name flashed on the screen. He was probably the only person in the world, apart from Gloria, who Hop would have answered a call from right then. 

"Hop? We need to talk," Raihan said when Hop picked up, his voice strained. The sound of a breeze over the receiver told Hop he was probably outside but wasn't mounted on Flygon. "You at your apartment or are you still in Wedgehurst?"

"Sonia got me a place to stay in Wedgehurst for the night," Hop said in a tone considerably flatter than Raihan's. "This isn't about Leon, is it?"

Raihan paused for half a beat. "Shit. How did you find out?"

Hop took a long breath, passing his hand over his eyes. "Mum was at the lab. She told me he's not doing too well, but I don't know everything."

He heard Raihan let out a long string of curses, his voice a little bit distant as though he was holding his phone away from his face. It would have been comedic if everything wasn't so soul-suckingly awful. When Raihan's rant finally died away, there was a long moment where the sound of a light wind blew in Hop's ear and then Raihan said, close again. "Sorry, luv. They were supposed to get in touch with me for  _ anything _ regarding that rat bastard before they contacted anybody else. I'm coming to Wedgehurst. I wanna talk to you about this face-to-face."

His voice left no room for argument, but it wasn't like Hop would ever have the power to turn Raihan away anyway. He gave Raihan some brief directions on where the inn was.

"Be there in half an hour. Don't go anywhere," Raihan said.

"I won't." And he didn't. He barely moved from that spot on the bed, cuddled up against Zacian, his fingers curled in Zacian's fur absentmindedly, searching for warmth against the uncertainty. Strange, he usually looked forward to seeing Raihan and the feeling of safety he brought, but this time, there was trepidation there too. Whatever it was that set Raiham off as it did over the phone couldn't be good. 

Raihan surely knew more about what happened to Leon. Whatever it was could turn him from his normal chill demeanor into something resembling the beast that came out on the battlefield. Except while that was meant for fun and entertainment, this was all rage. Hop had never seen it up close, only heard hints of it in other people's stories and in the way he talked about...about Leon.

It was hard to tell how much time had passed before he got a text informing him that Raihan was almost there. Hop gingerly pushed himself to a sitting position, his muscles creaking and protesting from the stress of the day as though he'd just run a marathon. Zacian raised his head and made to follow, but Hop shook his head, saying, "I'll only be a minute."

He went out to greet Raihan in front of the inn so that the elderly owners weren't scared to death at the sight of someone like him at that time of night. His lab coat was still on the table in his room, so clutched at his arms to keep warm as he watched the sky.

Within moments, he caught sight of a winged figure a bit bigger than the Noctowls and Zubats that zipped around the night sky. He watched it lower until it was over the edges of town and then waved to it. A pair of huge, red eyes flashed as they reflected the light from the street lamps before Flygon touched down in front of him. Flygon made a sound of joy and nuzzled Hop's cheek. As he reached up to pat her neck, Raihan dismounted and came around to meet him.

There seemed to be a perpetual dark band of shadow over his eyes, but when he took Hop's arms, he was gentle. 

"Are you okay?" he said, leaning down a bit to look Hop in the face. Hop had no idea what he looked like, but he was dead tired. 

"I'm fi-..." he began. No, he wasn't fine. "I don't know."

Raihan nodded slightly in understanding. "Let's get you inside." He summoned Flygon back into her Pokeball and then Hop led him back to his room. The elderly couple had gone to bed or else they doubtless would've been excited as little peaches to have a gym leader who wasn't Milo in their place.

Zacian sat on the edge of the bed, watching the door when they came into the room. He visibly relaxed when he saw Raihan and then curled back up.

"If I'd known all this shit was gonna happen, I wouldn't have left you this morning," Raihan said. "But they didn't call me until this afternoon. Those  _ fucking… _ " He said something else under his breath. "I  _ told _ them to call me  _ first.  _ No goddamn excuses. If anything went down with him, I would deal with it. They did a good job up 'til now. If anyone was gonna tell you, I wanted it to be me."

He wrapped his arms around Hop for a moment, which Hop returned, the familiar scent of Draco Noir cologne already putting him at ease. Once he pulled back, Raihan led them over to the table and into a pair of chairs. 

"Tell me everything your Mum said to you," he said. "We can start from there."

Truthfully, there wasn't much to tell on Hop's end. The encounter with his Mum had lasted all of two minutes at the most, the rest of what he knew was inferred from what she said. 

"I wasn't thinking," Hop told Raihan. "I could have asked questions, but...she just surprised me."

Raihan patted his arm in response. "No harm done. I didn't want something like this poppin' at you from out of the blue anyway. That was the entire  _ point _ of me being the one to take care of things. I didn't want you to have to deal with this shit."

Hop glanced up at him. "Would you have told me if something was wrong with him even if Mum didn't come into the picture?"

Raihan paused and chuckled humorlessly. "Maybe. Maybe not. I didn't tell you anything at first because I didn't want you to worry about him while you were recovering and we were still trying to arrange everything."

Hop nodded and lowered his gaze to the top of the table. "...I guess it was too much to hope that he would just...stop existing, huh?" Raihan laughed through his nose, but even if he agreed with Hop's cynicism, he couldn't stop a flicker of guilt. This was his own brother they were talking about and here he was wishing him out of reality. Was Gloria too fast to tell him that he wasn't a horrible person?

"He was as good as that," Raihan said. "Technically, the place we sent him  _ isn't supposed to exist _ . No one gets in or out who shouldn't."

"Do you know what happened, then?" Hop asked, his hands tightening in the fabric of his pants. "Does he have anything to say for himself?" 

Raihan sighed, pulling his headband off so he could run his fingers through his dreads. His smile was strangely reticent. "He ain't said a damn thing. He's not even awake right now. Been in a coma for a week."

It was like the wind was knocked out of Hop with a well-placed blow to his gut. He had no idea what he expected, really, but apparently Leon being in a  _ coma _ wasn't it. 

"Wh-What...H-How did..." His brain couldn't catch up long enough to formulate words. His body felt simultaneously numb and too hot. He stared as Raihan's eyes slid open to meet his own. "Rai,  _ what happened _ ?"

"You've gotta understand, luv. Where he's at, he was bound to run into someone just as dangerous as he is," Raihan said. "Word about what he did leaked out somehow. I dunno who it was or why. Trust me, I'd love to know. I want to get them alone so I can have a nice, long chat with 'em." He sneered. "But I guess it doesn't matter now. The wrong person found out and decided to teach him a lesson before anyone could stop it."

Hop pressed a shaking hand to his mouth as he listened to this. The absurdity of it all filled his head with static. How many people knew what happened to him now? Did they know that it was Leon's own younger brother that he raped? If one person could leak out that information, it might only be a matter of time before it got out to the general public and everything Raihan had been trying to prevent all these years would come crashing down. People would know their idol was a pervert. Hop's research, how far he'd come, and the fragility of his peaceful life would mean nothing.

He felt Raihan's hand cover his own where it rested on the table. It gave him a focal point before his thoughts could run away and plunge him and to a cycle filled with the worst possibilities that he could come up with.

"Hop?"

"How many people know?" Hop asked, lowly.

"I don't know, but if it gets out where it shouldn't, I'm gonna kick someone's ass," Raihan said. "I'm banking they'll leave it alone after what they did, though. They're probably hoping he'll die too."

Hop shook his head slowly, his heart pounding. The air conditioning in the room suddenly chilled the sweat beading on the back of his neck. "Being in a coma doesn't automatically mean a person is going to die. He might still wake up."

Raihan wrapped his grip around Hop's hand, running his thumb over the knuckles. "You don't understand, Hop. They set him on fire."

Time froze for a moment. Hop's head snapped up to stare at Raihan with eyes as wide as dinner plates. There was no way he could have heard that right; it sounded so foreign and absurd, he almost wanted to laugh. "Y-You're joking."

"'Fraid not."

Another wave of dizziness hit Hop like a freight train. A million more questions zipped through his head, all of them trying to be the first to get out. "But...But how? Who? I don't understand."

"That's what we're trying to figure out too," Raihan said, bitterly. "Y'know, the weird thing is, they can count ten people who woulda been there. Know who they are, too, and I'd bet it was one of them. But no one's talking. But the docs think it may have been someone with their own demons who clicked with your story and needed an outlet."

Absent-mindedly, Hop gripped at Raihan's sleeve with his free hand. Even now, he was reaching for Rai in his confusion. Nausea roiled inside him until the Grepa Berry pie he had for dinner threatened to come back up. 

Raihan leaned down to get a better look at his face. "Hey, you okay? You look sick."

Of course, he was sick. The image of his brother engulfed in flames was imprinted into his mind now. It didn't matter if the fire was large or small in reality. His imagination blew it up into an inferno. He'd been wanting some kind of retribution against Leon earlier, it was true, but the visual was more unsettling than anything else. Hop could only glance at him for a moment. "H-How bad was it?"

Raihan searched his face for a moment. "Is that something you really care to know about, luv?"

Such a simple question, but it made Hop shut his mouth.  _ Did _ he really want to know? A small burn wouldn't put someone in a coma. Burns were measured by the percentage of the body they covered. At what point did a person lose consciousness? 40%? Half? 75%

Arceus, how much if Leon's body was grilled? Were they 3rd-degree burns? Was he...Was he recognizable anymore? Hop's breath caught in his throat and his hands began to shake. 

Raihan cupped his cheek. "Hey, breathe. Do you want some water?"

Without thinking, Hop nodded and Raihan carefully pulled his hand out from underneath Hop's so that he could stand and collect some ice water. With his elbows propped on the table, Hop held his head in his hands, trying to blink away the painful sting behind his eyes that threatened tears. He didn't want to cry, not over Leon, not over the man that hurt him so badly and for so long.

But...

He couldn't help it. The tears grew heavy until they spilled out of the corners of his eyes and he had to mop them up with his sleeve. This was ridiculous. Leon didn't deserve his grief. That's what everyone kept telling him, that he shouldn't waste another minute worrying over his brother, that he shouldn't be sad or angry. 

Easier said than done. The heart was one place where logic couldn't pierce, no matter how many books he read or reports he filled out or presentations he led. 

Because he still fucking missed Leon. Even after all this time. The dream that he had in the lab just proved it, no matter how much Hop tried to deny it to himself or others. He missed his Lee, his big brother. He still wanted all of this to be a long, fucked up nightmare that he was going to wake up from and be glad none of it had ever happened so that things could go back to how they once were. 

In another life, he wondered if he would have dated Raihan again, only with Leon's blessing this time. Gods, the sight of Leon's face when he handed Hop over to Raihan would be hilarious to watch. A small, delirious laugh bubbled up from his throat just as a cup of water was handed to him and a warm hand rubbed circles into his upper back.

"I shouldn't have told you all that. You didn't need to know," Raihan said, but Hop was shaking his head before he even finished speaking.

"I'm the o-one that asked," he said. Hop couldn't shut off his curiosity for two seconds, especially when it came to Leon after so long of not knowing. He took the water and downed half of it before speaking again. "H-How come they can't figure out who did it if people were there?"

Raihan shrugged. "They keep changing their bloody stories. One says it was a fire Pokemon and the next day he said it was a damn meteorite. It's nuts. There's no camera feed, either. The closest one was shut off."

Hop felt something moist and wet touch the side of his face and jumped, only to find Zacian's nose nudging his cheeks where the tears collected. There was a small, wet noise as he licked the wet trails, making Hop gasp in protest and gently push his huge muzzle away. 

"D-Don't..." Hop said, more because he was embarrassed about breaking down like this than that he didn't enjoy the contact. Zacian gave a deep whine in return.

"He just wants you to feel better, luv," Raihan said, reaching over to scratch behind Zacian's ears.

"I know..." Hop said. He leaned his forehead against the side of Zacian's head. The thick fur tickled his nose but he still sighed into the Pokemon's musky scent. It didn't magically change everything, but it took the vicious edge off of the pain. With the upper half of his face still buried in Zacian, Hop said, "Why did they just call you today? Why did they talk to Mum first?"

Raihan had sunk back down in his chair. "Their  _ legal team _ thought it was the best move." Hop had never heard such spite in his voice. "It's bad enough that they don't know whether he's gonna come out of the coma by himself or... if they're gonna pull the plug." 

Hop pulled back enough to silently stare at Raihan. He felt every bit of the exhaustion carving dark circles underneath his eyes already.

Raihan leaned back in his chair with his elbow draped over it as he watched out of the window, not trying to avoid Hop's gaze, just...deep in thought. "Been on life support all this time. They're discussing if it's worth waiting to see if he'll recover. It's pretty costly keeping someone alive. So they gave your Mum a bell to talk about post-mortem."

Holy...shit. The shaking grief gave way to a numbness that seeped throughout Hop to the point where he realized he hadn't blinked until his eyes were so dry they bothered him. None of this was real. It couldn't be. Raihan wasn't telling him that some strange facility had Leon hooked up to tubes, to some degree of charred, and was determining whether or not Leon would live or die. There was...so much power in their hands to be able to tip the scales in either direction.

_ You might be the only son I have left soon. _

A shiver flitted up Hop's spine that Zacian must have felt because his braids wrapped around him again. 

"Hop?" Raihan was trying to look into his face again. Hop's eyes had drifted from a random point to a random point in his unfeeling blur. He should be...what? Sad? Guilty? Relieved? Sadistically joyful?

But there was nothing. He didn't feel  _ anything _ , as though he was in shock. 

Raihan's arms came around him, guiding him to stand from his chair and lead him over to the bed. "Come on, you need to get some rest. I shouldn't have told you that all at once."

"I'm fine," Hop mumbled, but he didn't try to pull away. Raihan kicked off his shoes and turned off the overhead light, casting the room into darkness lit by the glow from the weather channel on the telly. Oh look, there was a hurricane hitting Alola. Then he was being pulled down so that he laid next to Raihan. He turned and wrapped his arms around Raihan's torso with his head on Raihan's chest, clinging to him like a Komala. Zacian climbed onto the bed and curled up against his back, effectively sandwiching Hop between two large, warm bodies. 

Instead of claustrophobic, it was...safe. So, so safe. Hop couldn't suppress one last shiver as he adjusted, but then he relaxed, giving up his tension, giving up the numbness. Raihan's fingers combed through his hair. 

"Go to sleep, luv. We've got you," Raihan said in his low, rumbling tone that Hop loved so much. He couldn't be nervous about talking to his Mum like this. That horrifying image of Leon's fate teased at the edges of his imagination and he knew it would probably haunt him for a while yet, but when he subconsciously squeezed closer to Raihan, it would fade by increments. 

If he was alone, Legends only knew what kind of state he'd be in. He'd probably be having a nervous breakdown. Now, he was being buoyed up just above that line of his sanity instead of diving into madness. His boyfriend and lover was here and he had an ancient being for a friend watching over him. That was all that mattered.

He would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever wonder why this thing is called Burnt Road?


	9. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The things he wanted to say.

_"The fuck do you want?"_

_"--- ---- -- ----"_

_"Yeah, it was supposed to stay that way. Piss off."_

"--- - ------ ---"

" _Well I sure as hell didn't miss you_."

"- ------ -- --- --- -----."

" _Brilliant. You've seen me. Go crawl back into whatever hole you crawled out of."_

_"--- ---"_

_"Go. To. Hell."_

_"- ---- ---- -- ----"_

" _I don't wanna hear it."_

_"------ ----"_

_"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT."_

_"---"_

" _Fuck off_."

"---"

" _I don't want to see you again. Do you have any idea what you put me through?"_

"- ----- ---- -- ---- ---"

" _Of course you didn't."_

"- ---- ------ -- -- ---- ---"

" _Well,_ I _didn't want to be with you."_

_"--- --- ----- -- ---- --"_

" _Fuck you, I didn't like it. You never listened to me."_

_"------- --- ----- -------- -- --"_

_"Please, all I could do was listen to you, remember?"_

"------ - ---- --- -- ----"

_"Piss off, I don't love you anymore."_

_"--- ---- ---- ----"_

_"Open your fucking ears. I don't love you anymore. I don't want to see you ever again!"_

_"---"_

_"Why don't you do me a favor and die?"_

_"---"_

_"I'm happy now. Without you. You were only able to do all that shit to me because you were bigger. I'm not so little now, am I?"_

_"- -----"_

_"Don't give me that."_

_"---"_

_"I'm leaving."_

_"- ---- ---"_

_"I'll see you in hell."_


End file.
